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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29355747">Feelings to Avoid</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/isuck_alot/pseuds/isuck_alot'>isuck_alot</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:42:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>39,216</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29355747</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/isuck_alot/pseuds/isuck_alot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>5 years after receiving his soulmate mark, Oikawa runs straight into the boy he truly wish he would never have to meet. Most people's soulmate marks, were words of love that being their final words. Things along the lines such as "I love you." Though it wasn't the case for Oikawa. If anything Oikawa despised the words written on the inside of his ring finger more than anything other than the mere thought of the person who would say them. </p><p>Now that he has found the person destined to be his own, Oikawa and Iwa struggle to find their love in the world and if it will truly succeed. After all, soulmates don't stay with each other forever.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hey hey hey. SOOO if you've found this (i'm gonna be sO unprofessional in these notes just a big fyi) IM SO HAPPY. This is my first fanfic EVER, so I hope it does well and I hope you find it enjoyable. I'm a big Haikyuu fan, and as if it weren't obvious I'm a big iwaoi stan (oikawa kinnie tings/ FIND ME MY IWA) anywayyssss. This fic was inspire by cosmogony and their work on <em>The Galaxy is Endless <em> (literally ball my eyes out everytime please) *I PROMISE THERE'S NO DEATH*  buttttttt, i like to make people cry, I made myself cry thank you very much so maybe just maybe you'll cry. I use the same based of the soulmate marks where on their sixteenth birthday they recieve the last words their soulmate will say to them in their handwriting. (don't worry their not underage the story takes place five years later, so they're like 21). Basically, theyre in uni, Oikawa is a philosophy major and Iwa is a business major. They meet through tutoring and boom their lives become intertwined (hehe intertwined, call me mature).(ALSO i made Oikawa an only child, not really relevant, I just like that idea &gt;-&lt;) The whole soulmate thing shouldn't be the basis of the story, more so a background feature that will tie into how they move along in their relationship (yes I know exactly what the ending is). </em></em></p><p> </p><p>  <em><br/><em>Anyways. Happy reading kids.</em></em><br/></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the beginning, Oikawa was a boy with no concern of how the world worked but simply the endless possibilities of what lay beyond it. </p>
<p>The blaring sound of his alarm blasted from his phone from the nightstand on the left hand side. His eyelids took no time to flutter as they opened immediately recalling the day it was.<br/>
</p>
<p>It was his sixteenth birthday, and in this world turning sixteen had a very different meaning. It was odd. All of it. But it was normal. Oftentimes no one questioned whatever science was behind it and simply accepted the fact that the day a person would turn sixteen, they would find a set of words engraved in their skin. These were no ordinary words of course, they were the last words one’s soulmate would say to them, written in their own handwriting.<br/>
</p>
<p>The idea of soulmates was so very prominent in their society. They were so prone and consumed by their view on love, that no one ever doubted it. Everyone was so in love with the idea of finding love. Not one person did not believe in it.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Happy Birthday!” His mother’s voice squealed in excitement, crashing through his bedroom door, jolting Oikawa from his array of surfaced thoughts.“Did you check it yet?” She asked eagerly.<br/>
</p>
<p>“I just woke up” He groaned, pulling the sheets further across his body. He wasn’t sure how to feel about the mark. For Oikawa, it always felt as though it were a fairytale distance of miles away, even though everyday in his life he was reminded by it. It simply never seemed real to him.<br/>
</p>
<p>If Oikawa was one thing, he was a firm believer in working hard for what he wanted. Every goal in mind became his absolute obsession to achieve no matter the cost. He was going to the best, he was going to prove himself capable in every way. But this… this was nothing close to a goal nor achievement. It was a marker of time, and if Oikawa didn’t like one thing it was the idea of running out of time.<br/>
</p>
<p>“You know I waited until the clock struck twelve to see mine,” His mother was starry-eyed as she reminisced of the night she bore her mark. Many people waited until the exact moment they received it, out of excitement, or anticipation. Either way it hadn’t been so for Oikawa. It was simply another thing he had to experience in his life. It was different. Oikawa was always intrigued by the littlest of things people seemed to ignore, but something as big as this held no firm place in his heart.<br/>
</p>
<p>“I know mom, you’ve told me endlessly.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Happy birthday, son.” A new voice piped into the room, that being his father’s. Dressed in the typical bathrobe, grey t-shirt, pyjama pants, and holding one of his favourite coffee mugs reading, <em>I love chemistry jokes, but I’m afraid I won’t get a reaction. <em>His father was quite the science nerd. Which was where Oikawa figured he inherited his extreme interest with the existence of all things. Although unlike his dad, it didn’t end at everything which was scientific. It expanded to everything particular of the world. Or to be more specific, the galaxies across. Oikawa paid very little interest in everything scientific, he adored the theories conjured by his mind. He believed in the art of philosophy, and igniting a light behind the endless space up in the sky. To be put more simply, Oikawa loved to think. He loved the worlds in his mind. So for a boy like him, archeology, architecture, literature were subject to his attention. Including his very spot for the arts and any piece of history.<br/>
</em></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>“Thanks dad.”<br/>
</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>“So…” His father eyed his mother, taking a largely suspicious sip from his outrageous mug of C8H10N4O2. (Coffee that is)<br/>
</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>“Oh you know he wants to know what it says,” His mother pointed out the obvious. “So hurry up Tooru let's see.” His parents' eyes were glittering with intent. But of course they were, he was their only child, and they would only experience this once.<br/>
</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>As he sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes and letting his bed hair flop messily against his forehead, Altas asked pleadingly annoyed, “Can everyone just clear out of my room? And then I can look at it myself?”<br/>
</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>“Right, right it should be a private thing,” His mother began dragging his clueless father out of the room by his arm, whilst he muttered about how she was spilling his coffee. Ignoring him completely, before she closed the door to Oikawa’s room, she reminded “Do tell us once you get downstairs?”<br/>
</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>“Of course.” Oikawa murmured looking down at his sheets. He felt the heat climb to his cheeks, embarrassed for himself, or particularly what he was going to find.<br/>
</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>With a heavy sigh, Oikawa emerged from his luscious queen sized bed, beginning to twist around and inspect his body for any signs of a mark.<br/>
</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>“Where is it?” He gritted through his teeth angrily, starting to lose both his patience and his balance at the aggressiveness of his own search. Before he knew it, he was on the ground staring at the ceiling breathing heavy breaths out of unidentifiable exhaustion.<br/>
</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Maybe, just maybe it wasn’t there, he began to think. It wouldn’t be such a bad thing, would?<br/>
</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>As he placed his hands to his sides to support his body weight and get up, he began to feel a rush of awestruck stupidity as he turned to see the scribble of words written on the inside of his ring finger.<br/>
</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>He brought his hand closer to inspect it. His heart stopped for a brief couple moments. It was oddly beautiful. The writing was nothing near tidy, but the complete opposite. Scribbled letters wavering messily in different directions. Anyone could look at it and think it to be dull or dowdy, but Oikawa saw the passion and devotion in the letters himself.<br/>
</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>The awestruck feeling was quickly crushed when Oikawa read what they wrote.<br/>
</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>People like you don’t deserve love<em></em></em>
    </em>
  </em><br/>
</p>
<p>It hit him as if everything he worked for, everything he was, was nothing to this person, and that was the most soul crushing, and heartbreaking feeling Oikawa could ever think of. Being no one to the person you were destined to be with.<br/>
</p>
<p>If he wasn’t enough for the person meant to love him, what purpose did he have in trying to be enough for everyone else? His mind took a turn to the dark place it often escaped to, the world no one else saw through the joyous, successful mask he wore around everyone else. For a couple moments the doubt began to sink in. What purpose did he have?<br/>
</p>
<p>He was Oikawa Tooru. He was a boy who conquered the world and searched for a meaning behind it. He was a boy who could not give up so easily. So he pushed the thoughts aside, getting back on his feet. He wasn’t going to let the comment of an unknown person hurt him now. He was going to prove what he deserved, because he knew who he was.<br/>
</p>
<p>He was a king, a great king at that, and kings deserved a never ending galaxy of stars.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HEY HEY HEY I FORGOT TO MENTION - oikawa and iwa don't know eachother yet if I hadn't made it clear. anYwAys READ KIDS READ<br/>Also this is supposed to be chapter one - but er, with the whole thing it's called chapter 2 but yea.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>5 years later </p>
<p> </p>
<p>	The alarm was blaring through his ears as it always did, and like everyday Oikawa Tooru woke up with a smile on his face ready to conquer the world.<br/>
</p>
<p>He made his way into the kitchen of his fifth floor apartment, searching for a glass of warm water to keep up with his beauty routine. A king wasn’t a king without looking like one, right? Besides, it sent heartwarming feelings through the course of his body with every sip, reminding him that he didn’t need anyone in the world but himself.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Morning,” A low voice grumbled from behind him, making Oikawa jump and spill the contents of his mug. Sitting at the highchairs across the island was no other than Daichi Sawamura. Otherwise known in this home, as Oikawa’s roommate’s boyfriend. Questionable boyfriend. Considering the multiple occasions they thought he was dead. (Of course, this is metaphorically speaking, because god knew what they did in their room, Oikawa simply knew of the reckless noise and the way Daichi always seemed as though the life was sucked out of him every morning after)<br/>
</p>
<p>“Jesus Daichi,” Oikawa breathed out, earning a smirk on the other boy’s face. Once he calmed himself he began with his typical charm, “So resurrected again are we? How was your trip to the underworld this time?” Daichi knew exactly what he was implying, and quite literally had no care in voicing out his outrageous night. But he also knew, the things between him and his boyfriend were most absolutely private. He wouldn’t want anyone going around and thinking such of them, especially his Suga.<br/>
</p>
<p>“The typical,” Daichi grinned, taking a sip from his own mug.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Ah, so it must have been good then.” Oikawa nodded, mirroring Daichi's movements, as he brought his own mug to his lips.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Oh shut up Oikawa.” Another voice pounded into the room, no other than Sugawara Koshi, Oikawa’s beloved roommate. Not only did his voice come flying from nowhere, but so did a random object, that being his slipper aiming right for Oikawa’s stomach.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Suga!” Oikawa whined, bending down to nurture his stomach dramatically.<br/>
</p>
<p>“How are you this morning, love.” Suga sang sweetly, pressing a kiss to Daichi’s head, completely ignoring Oikawa in the midst of it all.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Wonderful as always.” Daichi smiled, turning his face to Suga’s to plant his own sweet kiss against his lips.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Ugh, such a sappy romance, please.” Oikawa scoffed in sarcasm. He would always remember the day Suga came home to tell Oikawa he had found his soulmate. He would never forget the infinite smile laying across his face. He would never forget it, because Oikawa knew it was a love he would never experience for himself.<br/>
</p>
<p>Oikawa never once looked at the mark on his ring finger since the day he received it. He never showed anyone it, never told anyone what it said. He lied through his smile to ensure his perfect self. He told people it was in a private place, which didn’t bother anyone given it was normal to find the mark in odd places, and very few people noticed the mark on his inner finger. It wasn't particularly noticeable. He told everyone the words engraved were I love you. It was both an easy and believable lie. But the knowledge of it being there, burned into his thoughts constantly. So Oikawa would create his own kingdom that would never need an inch of smothering romantic love.<br/>
</p>
<p>“If you want another slipper thrown at you, I would stay quiet.” Suga warned, sending Daichi in a fit of both laughter and admiration of his wondrous soulmate.<br/>
</p>
<p>“I really get no appreciation around here.” Oikawa muttered with a growing smirk. The same thoughts seeping in as they always did. The thoughts not many seemed to realize went through his head. Even people as close to him like Suga.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em> What was it like to be loved? What was it like to find your missing half? What was it like to feel a sense of value? To feel worth? <em></em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Because acting was no problem. Acting as though he was beyond the world to convince others and convince himself he had some self-worth was easy. But it never healed the monstrous feelings of loneliness.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“So what’s the plan today?” Daichi announced more as though he knew exactly what the plan was, but simply wanted to reinforce it. Sort of like a father.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“I’ve finished all my work yesterday, though I do need to drop some papers off to some of my professors.” Suga started rambling on about the day, not of which particularly interested Oikawa. Suga was majoring in psychology, considering he wanted to be a pediatric psychiatrist. It was one of the most perfect jobs for him. He was great with kids, and of course he excelled in school, therefore med school was simply a no brainer.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“What about you?” Daichi’s enforcing question brought Oikawa back from his dazed thoughts.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“I was asked by my English professor if I could help a kid who’s failing today. So I guess that’s exactly what I’ll be doing.”<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“You do so much for everyone else, have you even finished your own assignments?” Suga pressed. He was always looking out for Oikawa, he knew him the best after all. They met in the second year of high school after being placed in the same biology group. Oikawa's vivid memories of Suga disecting a frog would forever live in his head. The story was equally traumatizing and hilarious, depending on the point of view. Oikawa had never met anyone so intrigued and genuinely interested in what he had to say. Before they knew it, they were chatting away into a lifelong friendship.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“No,” Oikawa said making his way back to his own room to get ready for his meeting with the unknown failing student, “But I always get it done.” Rummaging through his closet he could hear Suga shouting about how he was always sleep deprived, dehydrated and running off very little food. It didn’t bother Oikawa that much, because as long as he was proving himself to be the best, it would be enough.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>_________</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>Oikawa strolled down the sidewalk, coffee in hand listening to the life around him. The swaying trees, the falling leaves and the crisp breeze flying past him. He would be precise in his timing, not a minute early, nor a minute late. Although many would take him for the person to make a grand entrance in arriving “fashionably late”, Oikawa always thought it tacky and surely not the best way to describe the person he was.<br/>
He walked through the halls of the east campus, passing very few students considering it was the weekend. The only students around were those looking to drop off work like Suga, tutoring, getting tutored, or trying to get into their professors pants in hopes of a higher grade.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>When he reached the open door of the professor’s office, a boy no older than he was sitting in the chair across the professor's desk.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“Oikawa, thank you very much for joining.” The professor said, motioning his hand to the chair left of the boy for him to sit. The professor was an older looking man, approximately in his fifties by Oikawa's estimate. He was one of his favourites, and in return Oikawa was his highest excelling and preferred student.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“My pleasure.” Oikawa chuckled making his way over, only to hear a scoff at his words. The boy beside him was undoubtedly smaller in height compared to Oikawa, though something about his intense demeanour made him seem far much greater. He wore a black hoodie, and grey sweatpants, nothing flashy, simply casual. It was almost as though he cared none of the sort of his appearance or the way he dressed. His dark brown hair, which could easily be mistaken for black was ruffled in all sorts of directions. But what stood out the most to Oikawa was the daring green in his eyes, which left him at the slightest bit of unease.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“Oikawa.” The professor cleared his voice sensing the discomfort in the room, “This is Iwaizumi Hajime, the student you will be tutoring.”<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“Right,” Oikawa nodded in assessment, trying to distract himself from the look of the boy next to him. “May I possibly ask what are his strengths?”<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“Wouldn’t you want to know where I’m failing.” Iwaizumi huffed as though unimpressed. It was clear the boy didn’t like Oikawa whatsoever from the moment he walked in the room, and Oikawa hadn’t the faintest clue why. He had never seen the boy in his life. There were millions of students who attended the university, let alone a single program. Perhaps he had seen his face before but truly nothing rang a bell.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“I work in a different way than most,” Oikawa started, challenging his tone. “You see, I like to bring out the strengths in people and use it to their advantage. So if you don’t mind me asking, what are your strengths?” Oikawa repeated the question again, gritting his teeth in annoyance.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>Before Iwaizumi could speak, the professor cut him off to provide Oikawa with the fine details himself.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“He excels in his writing no doubt, however his ideas and thought process need to be refined, perhaps enhanced should I say. Given you’re a philosophy major and exceed all expectations in my class, I thought it perfect to bring you to help.”<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“Of course, sir.”<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“Right then.” The professor got to his feet to signal the end of the brief meeting. The two boys mimicked his movements, standing up in approach for the door. “You two better get off to work.”<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“Yes, sir.” Iwaizumi spoke. Not in the intimidating voice full of hatred he was using towards Oikawa, but a polite and respectful one, leaving Oikawa in shock as he walked out the door.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“Good Day to you boys then.” The professor said, finally shutting the door behind them.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>Oikawa wasn’t necessarily sure what to do next. He had tutored countless students before, but they all liked him. Particularly the girls. Or at the very least they were polite like any other human being. As per usual, Oikawa suggested they use the library across the building to study in hopes it would be a good start to the next agonizing hours which would be prolonged for no doubt another couple of weeks.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“Fine.” Iwa agreed firmly, stepping forward on route to the library. It completely boggled Oikawa’s mind as to why the boy despised him so much. They remained quiet on their short walk to the olden building, both deep in their own headspace worrying and worrying not of the person they were to begin a journey with.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>Once settled at a round desk, with papers and assignments out, Oikawa finally broke the terrible silence.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“So… what’s your assignment on?”<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“Pygmalion.” Iwa grunted, not making a single piece of eye contact.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“Ah, the inspiration behind My Fair Lady. You’ve read it right? You see I think the ending was absolutely perfect-” In all honesty, Oikawa could ramble on between the differences of the two, and how much he adored the elements of both, and those of which he disagreed with. But, he was shortly cut off by Iwa’s deadly stare and the words escaping from his mouth.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“Look. All I want is to pass this course. I don’t care about your preferences and such, just help me with the material, ok?” Technically, in Oikawa’s mind, he was helping him. Discussion was always key in searching for ideas, but with someone as small minded and ignorant as the boy beside him, Oikawa wouldn’t bother with providing a lecture.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“Right.” Was all he said before adding, “May I see your notes, or anything you have on the material?” In response Iwa handed over a stack of papers. Evidently he was dedicated, simply didn’t showcase enough talent per se. It was admirable, Oikawa thought. To have the motivation to keep pushing oneself, quite frankly it reminded him of himself.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>As he glanced over the scribbles on the page, his body entirely stopped moving. His heart quit pounding, his hands were trembling, sweat began to break out of his skin the slightest bit. Oikawa recognized the handwriting immediately. Though he hadn’t looked at it in five years, Oikawa wasn’t the type to forget. The same harsh lines coming from all sorts of directions.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“What's your problem?” Iwa questioned, looking genuinely concerned. Oikawa lifted his left hand compared with the writing before him to ensure what he thought was real. Hoping and praying it wasn’t. Oikawa had never prepared himself for meeting his soulmate. It was never the plan after reading the final words on his ring finger. He was going to be fine on his own and had completely forgotten that they would one day waltz into his life. He forgot that one day the person whose handwriting was on his left hand would break his heart.<br/>
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<p>Oikawa turned back to face the boy he had only known for a few brief moments. Only one word spilling out of his mouth like a poison desperate to kill.<br/>
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<p>“You.”</p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hey hey hey I'll probably post again Tuesday. If I'm feeling it, and if this gets some hits maybe even tomorrow. But we'll see. </p>
<p>Love you lovies!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, lowkey kind of late, though I was intending to post tuesdays and thursdays. ER there's an iwa pov in this chapter, although I do hope to keep Iwa povs very limited as it thoughts play a big role in the end. (I wanna keep y'all in the dark) But as for this pov, I needed to provide some background on how I want his character to be, so yay that's that. Hope you enjoy &gt;-</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Oikawa lay in his bed staring at the ceiling, tossing up a volleyball back and forth like he always did to get his thoughts turning. He played volleyball for a bit back in highschool with Suga. In truth, he thoroughly enjoyed the sport, knowing he was practically an olympian in the making. Though it didn't take much to tear his dreams to shreds, just an old trip down the lane in his mind leading him towards his endless doubts which were always holding him back. </p><p>
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  <em>“You”<br/>
The mere memory from hours ago was mindlessly replaying in his head.<br/>
“You knew.” Oikawa paused. It all made sense. The aggressive way he acted towards him. Iwa didn’t seem the type of person to act such a way to quite literally someone he hadn’t met before. “Didn’t you?”<br/>
It was as if he made no move to hide the fact he knew exactly what Oikawa was speaking about. He simply marched straight out the door without a single word to say, leaving Oikawa stranded and millions of thoughts running through his brain. <em></em></em>
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</p><p>	“Oikawa? Are you home?” Suga’s voice chirped through the sound of the front door. He probably enjoyed his saturday, especially given the fact he arrived home at this time of night. Now ten o’clock was early for most, but for Suga it signified he had a night to let loose, which comforted Oikawa the slightest. It was nice to know his friend was having some time to himself.<br/>
“In my room” Oikawa called out in response. Within a matter of seconds, Suga was at the door, plopping down to sit by the foot of his bed. They remained in silence listening to the sound of the ball make contact with Oikawa’s long, sculpted fingers before sending it back up into the air.<br/>
“What’s wrong.” Suga asked, looking over in Oikawa’s direction. Concern and hurt clouded his voice. If there was anything so contrastingly odd about Oikawa, is that he refused help from anyone to prevent being a trouble for them, but begged for it deep down.<br/>
“Nothing’s wrong.” He murmured without breaking his focus from the ball.<br/>
“We're not playing this game right now.” Oikawa caught the ball in his hands, putting it to his side, sitting up, and exhaling out the thing he never wished to say.<br/>
“I met my soulmate today.”<br/>
“No shit.” Suga’s face was amazed, almost unconvinced.<br/>
“Yup” Oikawa bit his lip. It was something he did often when he wasn’t sure what to say. It seemed to calm his anxiousness at times.<br/>
“Oh my god.” Suga’s face brightened up quicker than ever. “Was it the guy you’re tutoring.”<br/>
“Well, well, what a detective.” A smile began to grow on his face. If Oikawa could count on Suga for one thing, it would be the way he always lit up the room. Even in a moment such as this.<br/>
“Hang on a minute, why aren't you happy? Why aren’t you dancing around the room? Why aren’t you singing a sappy love song and putting on a concert?” Suga took Oikawa by the shoulders, shaking them back and forth as if to knock some sense into him, “WHERE IS MY HAPPY OIKAWA?”<br/>
Oikawa chuckled in response, placing his hands on Suga’s to put them down. “I am happy.” The fake smile had never felt so bitterly sweet. He watched Suga arch his brow, unconvinced. “I am really.” Oikawa choked out a laugh. The perfect way to mask his true feelings. “Just… bewildered.”<br/>
“I’m so happy for you.” Suga’s own heart seemed to melt, maybe the same way Oikawa’s did when Suga told him the same thing two years ago. “I’m gonna buy cake, this calls for a celebration”Suga shouted in delight, “and call Daichi. Any excuse for cake.” He walked out of the room leaving Oikawa to his thoughts. The same one’s he found himself drowning in. </p><p>
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</p><p>	He wasn’t particularly sure what to do. He doubted Iwa wanted to continue with the tutoring sessions. Though it was simply a worry for the next Saturday, which was a mere six days away. Oikawa couldn’t determine whether it was too close or too far, he just knew his doubts and his worries were eating him alive.<br/>
The following day, Oikawa and Suga went out to collect groceries as a part of their weekly routine. It was always the perfect day to let loose and forget about all the troubles running through their lives. Just two best friends participating in something so casually normal. Something normal, for once.<br/>
Once Suga had collected a cart and Oikawa assembled their reusable bags, Suga pulled out their list to start assigning things to get. They always had a game plan in the store, although sometimes they did find they strayed away from it. That being the majority of the time.<br/>
“Uh we need peppers, bok choy, lettuce, carrots and string onions.” Suga listed, reading off their small list of things to buy. “Off to the produce then.”<br/>
“Right, I’ll go get milk bread.” Oikawa said with a giggle of excitement as he slowly began to raise the speed in his steps to his most adored aisle of the store.<br/>
“Not too much this time!” Suga called after him as a reminder. "I still want to get ice cream!" It was common for Oikawa to slip extra couple bags into the grocery cart, but he simply couldn’t help it. It was scrumptiously scrumptious in a way that it should be glorified for its existence.<br/>
After retrieving a mere ten bags, which seemed the perfect amount, Oikawa plopped them into the grocery cart before heading off into another aisle to complete the shopping list. It was when he caught the sight of the green eyes that seemed to be engraved in his head upon their first encounter, that Oikawa stopped reminiscing of the ridiculous thing.<br/>
“Hey,” Oikawa blurted out uncontained. Not in the soft and approachable way he intended.<br/>
“What do you want?” Iwa groaned, not even looking up to meet his eyes as though he already knew exactly who he was speaking to.<br/>
“Are you that oblivious? Or simply dull headed?” Oikawa cocked his head at the thought. Iwa on the other hand, began to push his cart away signalling no interest in the conversation.<br/>
In desperate hopes to search for something, Oikawa began to follow in his steps, chasing after him. “Look. I just want to talk. Can’t you allow me that?”<br/>
“No,” He grunted, clearly annoyed. “Quit following me around.”<br/>
“What does it say?” Oikawa prompted. The thought had been burning in his head as long as the words from his own mark had. What did he say back to the man who undeniably both hated and loved him?<br/>
“Not until you tell me what yours says.” Iwa countered in proposal of a deal./<br/>
“I’d like to see how that’s hardly fair given I asked you first.”<br/>
“Then, no. Now get off my tail you idiot.”<br/>
“Again with the dowdy words, can’t you think of anything better?”<br/>
“Shittykawa then.”<br/>
“Now that’s just vulgar. I was thinking something more along the lines of, Oikawa you gorgeous specimen, or at the very least extend your vocabulary to words such as pretentious.”<br/>
“People like you don't deserve such admirable attention.”<br/>
“Shit.” Oikawa breathed.<br/>
“What,” Iwa stopped, and smiled in realization. “Did I say it?”<br/>
“You were close.” Out of nowhere, Iwa made a grab for Oikawa’s left hand with brute strength, leaving Oikawa squirming to try to retrieve it. “Hey.” Iwa tossed his hand back with an evil grin on his face.<br/>
“People like you don’t deserve love.” Iwa quoted the words he read scribbled on Oikawa’s finger.<br/>
“Shut up already.”<br/>
“People like you-” Iwa started to repeat the sentence once again, finding elation in annoying Oikawa, who promptly clamped a hand over Iwa’s mouth to prevent him from saying it one more time and risking everything.<br/>
“Iwa can’t you just take this seriously.” Iwa's eyes were full of rage, as he pushed Oikawa off of him.<br/>
“I’m taking this very seriously. In fact, I think it’s a great thing to say on your deathbed.”<br/>
“Hang on, how would you know it isn’t yours?”<br/>
“Because listen to this Shittykawa,” Iwa brought a fist to the front of Oikawa’s shirt, clenching the fabric in his hands, and gritted through his teeth, “I’ll outlive you in every way I can.” A wicked grin lay on his face, bringing not only shock but adortion to Oikawa's eyes.<br/>
It wasn’t the best area to be having a showdown of this sort. But obviously those weren’t the thoughts running through Oikawa’s mind.<br/>
“Oikawa, we can’t afford ten bags of milk bread. We’re literally broke college students.” Suga’s voice came from around the corner. “Oh, hey.”<br/>
“Suga, this is Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi this is Suga, my roommate.” Oikawa quickly introduced them, quite honestly wanting to be rid of the awkward tension in the air. Given his late night conversation with Suga, Oikawa knew things were bound to become weird.<br/>
“OH.” Suga exclaimed in realization. “You’re Oikawa’s soulmate. I heard about your encounter yesterday.” He continued to ramble on, none of which Oikawa heard during his inconspicuous whisper screaming conversation with the irritated Iwaizumi.<br/>
“You told him about me?!”<br/>
“Of course I told him about you, you're my soulmate.”<br/>
“You little shit, we met yesterday.”<br/>
“Well clearly you knew me prior to said encounter.”<br/>
“What makes you say that.”<br/>
“Your nasty attitude.”<br/>
“I don’t have an attitude.” He growled.<br/>
“Yea right.”<br/>
“I think I’ll head to the cash register and get this done, I’ll meet you by the front ok Oikawa?” An immediate wave of guilt rushed through Oikawa for paying so little attention. “Nice meeting you Iwaizumi, I’ll look forward to seeing you again.” He smiled.<br/>
“You as well.” Iwa chimed sweetly as Suga walked away.<br/>
“What is your problem?”<br/>
“What do you mean what’s my problem?”<br/>
“You act as though I’m nothing to you.”<br/>
“That's because you are.”<br/>
“No, I’m your soulmate.”<br/>
“You know what.” He stopped walking again, a more serious than annoyed look overtook his face. “Some of us choose not to believe in that. Some of us don’t believe in love. So you know what Oikawa? You’re just another person in this world that I quite literally don’t give a damn about. So do us both a favour, because it’s so painfully obvious you hate what I say to you, and you’re forcing yourself into something you don’t want, and just walk away and pretend we never met.” He began walking away with a scoff, abandoning the stricken Oikawa in the middle of the aisle.<br/>
Never in his life had he met anyone who had been able to read him so easily. Maybe he was forcing himself into this relationship. He did hate the words written on his finger, but the words weren’t Iwa. The words didn't define him.<br/>
The moment he saw him he knew it was different. So why not give love a chance?<br/>
“A month.” Oikawa said, loud enough for Iwa to hear him, who had only traveled a couple meters away. He stopped at the sound of his voice. “One month.” Oikawa approached him again. “Give me one month to show you this isn’t nothing, and if it works then it works. If it doesn’t then it doesn’t and we part ways.”<br/>
“You’re not going to get anything out of it.” Iwa said, seemingly agreeing to the idea.<br/>
“Oh I think that’s a bridge I’m willing to cross.” A smirk travelled up his face. He extended a hand dramatically to signify their agreement.<br/>
“Quit that, this isn’t some business arrangement.” Iwa flushed, looking at their surroundings like an embarrassed child.<br/>
“C’mon, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa whined, leaving his hand in place in front of him.<br/>
“What did you just call me?” Iwa’s face became muddled with shocked confusion.<br/>
“Iwa… chan?” Oikawa said slowly, as if he were about to get scolded. In response, Iwa slapped his hand hard. Sending stinging pain in Oikawa’s left hand.<br/>
“Wait so is that a yes?”<br/>
“What the hell do you think?” Iwa rolled his eyes, making his own way through the store.<br/>
Oikawa could confidently say, he was excited for the days which lay ahead, because no one in the world had ever made Oikawa genuinely smile in such a short matter of seconds. </p><p>
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</p><p>	As Iwaizumi rode the subway home, groceries in clutch, he wondered about the deal he struck with the boy. He never thought he would agree to it. His plan was always to ignore his own mark, because Iwaizume Hajime didn’t believe in soulmates.<br/>
He’d seen what the mark had done to people. He had seen how it drove people crazy, overwriting all morals, all problems with their idea of love. He had witnessed it all firsthand.<br/>
He had seen his parents running back to each other after every fight as though nothing ever happened, because of the grandest excuse. They were soulmates.<br/>
He had seen the destruction, the thing people called sacrificial love. He had seen his mother weep at night, his father runoff drunk. He had witnessed the way it affected them, the way it changed them. They way they reacted to him. The constant yelling, the constant clashing of items in the kitchen, the heavy pounding footsteps that would scare him half to death.<br/>
Iwa had seen exactly what “soulmates” were capable of, and the sorry excuse to continue running back to each other. Iwa wanted none of it.<br/>
He didn’t want to be overtaken by the all consuming force people called love.<br/>
But maybe, in the following month, the boy he dreamed of would show him how.</p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thanks for reading!! let me know what you think, thanks!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey hey hey: lowkey (highkey) late but I figured not many people were keeping up with the story anyways. This one's a bit longer than usual. Hope you like it :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The truth was Oikawa had no idea where to begin. He had absolutely no form to reach Iwa. Not a phone number, nor address, not even an email. He knew practically nothing about the guy except for what he looked like, and his gritty attitude towards him. He figured he could try to find a way to reach out to him. Ask the school, speak to his professor, anything really.But it wasn’t the small fact holding him back, more so the idea of messing up because he wanted it to work. He wanted them to work somehow. It was what everyone wanted. A soulmate,<br/>
Oikawa had essentially been avoiding the problem of hearing from him all day, coming up with ways to communicate with him and excuses to prevent him from it. It was the only thing on his mind.<br/>
Marching into the kitchen to get a nice cup of hot coffee, Oikawa heard the door unlock with no other than Daichi stepping through to attend his date with Suga.<br/>
“Daichi.” Oikawa addressed, without looking his way. It was obviously him. No one other than Oikawa, Suga and Daichi owned a key to their frivolous apartment.<br/>
“Oikawa” He returned in reply, as he put down his keys and a bouquet of roses on the counter by the entrance. “So I hear you’ve found your soulmate.”<br/>
“Yes I have.” It was funny. He had spent the whole day thinking of Iwa though talking about it with someone else was exactly the last thing he wanted to do. It wasn’t the topic he cared to discuss, it felt like an invasion of privacy even though it really wasn’t.<br/>
“Funny, I never pictured you to be Iwaizumi’s type.” Daichi let out as if it was the most normal thing<br/>
in all of it.<br/>
“I’m sorry?” Oikawa spat his drink out, clearly stunned Daichi had some connection to Iwa.<br/>
“Yea my roommate Tanaka, that lump.” Daichi turned his face to the side, as if talking to Tanaka, though he wasn’t truly there. “He met Iwaizumi’s roommates at some sort of party, not sure who’s. They got close I guess, so they hung around every now and then, inviting me along with Iwaizumi. That’s basically how we met. He’s a very chill guy.”<br/>
“So do you know how I can find him?”<br/>
“He’s the apartment two floors up from mine so yea I know exactly where you can find him.”<br/>
“Well you better lead the way.” Oikawa’s eyes widened with excitement. It was a clear solution to the problem that had been bugging him all day.<br/>
“If you can’t tell.” Daichi ran his hands down his legs to issue his attire. He was wearing a formal black tux which suited him ever so perfectly. Though, Oikawa wasn’t precisely sure how a college student like him could afford it. It quite possibly could’ve been old given the outdated seams and cuffs, though it was carefully looked after it almost seemed brand new. “I’m taking Suga out to dinner tonight.”<br/>
“Is that why he’s been raiding my closet? Makes sense. Anyways, back to the topic of discussion. What’s the address?”<br/>
“I don’t know if I should give you that kind of information Oikawa, you might be a stalker.” A hint of sarcasm reached the tone of Daichi’s voice with the all too well known smirk.<br/>
“Fine then, I’ll just have to ask Suga where you live and raid the floor two levels up until I find him.”<br/>
“You really are a character aren’t you.” Daichi shook his head while simultaneously pulling out his phone to text the address to Oikawa.<br/>
“You bet I am a legendary one at that.” He insinuated.<br/>
“Here you go.” Daichi said as the text alert rang through Oikawa’s phone. He couldn’t help but smile as he eyed the letters on his phone. Their journey was afoot. </p><p>	He held his breath as he stalked through the halls of the apartment building. Lucky for him, Daichi lent him his key fob to get through the first doors so he wouldn’t have to deal with an awkward conversation over the buzzer. Tonight was the night for adventure. Whilst Suga and Daichi celebrated their two year anniversary at some fancy restaurant across town, Oikawa was about to embark on his soulmate expedition. It was excessive though, he couldn’t shake the idea from his mind.<br/>
He approached the wooden door letting his hand softly knock against it. His heart skipped a beat as soon as he heard the scorching yelling through the door. A couple of voices he didn’t recognize, but Iwa’s overpowering them all saying he’d get the door.<br/>
“Hey” The door swung open with Iwa’s head peeking out, with a great big smile on his face as if he’d been laughing. He looked happy, and that warmed Oikawa’s heart in the slightest.<br/>
“What on Earth are you doing here?” The smile faded. Iwa opened the door wider, letting Oikawa see his full body. He was wearing a plain grey shirt, with red plaid pyjama pants. The first thing that came to mind was how comfortable Iwa enjoyed dressing. The sweatpants, the sweaters, the t-shirts, the pyjama pants. The boy had no care for style, and only for his comfort.<br/>
“It’s day one of the month, evidently I have to use all the time I’ve been given.”<br/>
“And you thought to not tell me about this? You could have waited for the tutoring session on saturday.”<br/>
“Well I didn't have any mode of contact, and I didn’t want to waste time.” He continued,<br/>
“AND I was thinking you probably wouldn’t want to continue the sessions.”<br/>
“You’re right, I don’t.” Iwa said bluntly.<br/>
“So…”<br/>
“Come on in.” Iwa left the spot of the door making way for Oikawa.<br/>
“Really?” Oikawa was utterly surprised. For a guy who acted like he didn’t care he most certainly did. It was obvious to Oikawa.<br/>
“Stop prying before I change my mind.” He said, not daring to look back and proceeding with whatever he was doing.<br/>
It was like stepping into another world. Well of course it was, it was stepping into a part of Iwa’s life. The place was a mess. It was nothing like Suga and Oikawa’s apartment. They were<br/>
very proficient in keeping their place tidy, put together. Although, they always did have their occasional run of the muck.<br/>
Dirty laundry was all over the place, along with an endless stack of tupperware and takeout boxes. It was surprising enough it didn’t smell half-bad. It smelled like a combination of a fast food court and some sort of body deodorant. Actually, it was quite embarrassing for Oikawa as he thought of how much he liked it in some odd way.<br/>
“IWA” A voice exclaimed, followed by the jogging of footsteps to reveal one of the three other roommates Iwaizumi shared. “That’s not pizza.” The boy said after taking one look at Oikawa standing awkwardly. He looked Iwa in some ways Oikawa acknowledged at first, though quickly retracted the thought. He had ruffled curls of black hair, was taller, and clearly didn’t have the same charm as Iwa. Particularly with his smile.<br/>
“He didn’t get pizza?”Another voice came running in. He on the other hand was easy to distinguish amongst the three boys. He had short light brown hair, shorter than the other guy, but undoubtedly taller than Iwa himself. “Iwa who’s this?”<br/>
“Shittykawa.” Iwa grumbled. He was standing by the island in the kitchen, hands pressed onto the countertop.<br/>
“Oh my, my lover boy and his other lover.”<br/>
“That makes no sense.”<br/>
“Of course it does.”<br/>
“So Oikawa tell me, what do you have planned for you and Iwa over here?”<br/>
“I-”<br/>
“Stop pestering the guy.” Iwa cut him off before even letting him speak.<br/>
“Defensive boyfriend, I see you.” Makki winked, directing finger guns his way.<br/>
“We’re not dating.” Iwa gritted, diverting his attention elsewhere. Seemingly flushed with some sort of angered embarrassment.<br/>
“Oh but of course you are.”<br/>
“Oikawa date me please, I’ve waited for you my whole life!”<br/>
“Oh Iwa, I feel the same way!”<br/>
The boys continued the skit, in which Oikawa was highly invested in. It made him laugh, and fall in love with Iwa’s life. His friends, his clothes, even the raging mess of his apartment.<br/>
It wasn’t until he was dragged out the door by the arm by no other than Iwa himself, who seemed to have gathered a zip up sweater and wallet in the time of Matsu and Maki’s performance.<br/>
“I wanted to see the end of that.”<br/>
“Trust me. You don’t.” He locked the door behind him, shrugging on the sweater, while Oikawa chuckled out a laugh.<br/>
“Who are they anyway?” Oikawa quipped as they began to make their way out the building. He wanted to know his life, and there wasn’t any harm in asking who his roommate was. Besides, the guy had already met Suga, and clearly told his roommates about Oikawa.<br/>
“The one with black hair is Mattsun, and the other is Makki.” Iwa shrugged it off like nothing.<br/>
“I thought you had another roommate?” Oikawa recalled what Daichi had told him earlier that evening.<br/>
“Stalking me are you?”<br/>
“Why is everyone calling me a stalker, if anything I’M the one with stalkers.” Oikawa huffed only earning back a chuckle.<br/>
“Yea right. Kyotani is the other one, he’s off doing God knows what.” Once they got outside, Iwa paused crossing his arms in front of him.“So tell me Intrusive-kawa, what do you have planned?” His eyes sending death stares. It was hard to believe he wanted to do this, or at least wanted to give it a chance.<br/>
“I was thinking coffee.” Oikawa croaked, clearly knowing how ridiculous the suggestion was. But in truth, he spent far too much time formulating a plan to meet Iwa that he didn’t exactly have one for after he met up with him,<br/>
“Oikawa it’s nine, no one goes to get coffee at night.” Iwa lectured.<br/>
“Maybe we’ll just have to start the trend.” Oikawa smiled without breaking eye contact, waiting for an answer. With the rolling of his eyes, shaking of his head, and iconic smirk Iwa began to walk with Oikawa letting him lead the way.</p><p>	After stopping by a small cafe on the corner of a small street a fifteen minute walk away, they didn’t bother to stop and sit. Instead they walked around the streets of town, coffee in hand and small conversations here and there. Chuckles, and laughs. Everything you would expect upon meeting someone and getting to know them.<br/>
“How did you know me? From our first encounter?” Oikawa asked finally, eagerly awaiting the answer.<br/>
“We’ve met before. Well that is, I’ve met you.” He tilted his head to signal for Iwa to go on. “Freshman year, I saw you.”<br/>
“Where may I ask?” Oikawa pressed on to find all the clues from the little information he was given.<br/>
“You were sitting in the assembly hall like everyone else. You were chatting away with your roommate, I remember his silver hair. You were laughing at something he said, you had this great big smile on your face. You had some notes in your lap, and I couldn’t bother not to look. Immediately I knew, just as you.” It wasn’t hard to notice Iwa was lost in thought, and most likely forgot who he was talking to. But the smile on his face as he retold the story touched Oikawa’s heart. Maybe there was such a thing as soulmates.<br/>
“Huh. Will I ever get to know what it says?”<br/>
“Not a chance.” He scoffed again with the deviously attractive grin that made the butterflies in Oikawa’s stomach flutter at a rapid rate he swear he couldn’t handle.<br/>
“Why?”<br/>
“It shouldn’t matter.” And his reasoning was actually perfect, Oikawa thought. Why should mere words affect and determine how they lived? It sounded like being puppets conducted into a web of lies and expectations.<br/>
“It’s getting dark.” Iwa noted the various street lamps being lit and the darkening of the atmosphere.<br/>
“No, it’s getting bright.” Oikawa smiled in awe.<br/>
“Is there something wrong with your head? Do you need me to knock it straight for you?” Iwa’s concerned face peered into Oikawa’s view.<br/>
“I mean, the stars and the moon are coming out.”<br/>
“Ok and?” Oikawa was absolutely certain Iwa thought him to be crazy, but he didn’t care. He always had an affinity for the world beyond the one they lived on. He always wondered. He loved to wonder, whether it led him to question the great big question of life or into a world of his own fears it didn’t matter. His mind was full of thoughts, and a beautiful mind it was.<br/>
“The lights of the world.” Oikawa said breathlessly looking up at them as if it were his first time seeing them.<br/>
“I’m sure some would argue that would be the sun.” Iwa countered, following Oikawa, who was jogging across the field of the neighbouring park before slumping down at a random spot of grass at the top of a small hill.<br/>
He crouched down tucking his knees into his chest, as he wrapped his arms around them, curling up into a ball to find comfort in himself. Iwa landed right beside him, his legs spread in front of him, and his hands supporting his weight behind him.<br/>
“You’re incredibly weird.” Iwaizumi said.<br/>
“I’m weirdly perfect.” Oikawa grinned without breaking contact with the sky.<br/>
They sat in silence. Not an awkward silence, a peaceful one looking up towards the millions of lights dazzling above them.<br/>
“They really are beautiful.” Iwa breathed. Oikawa who had been lost in the stars finally turned to look at Iwa. He sat there admiring him admire the sky. The way his eyes lit up against the bright lights, the green in them reflecting the world, the part in his lips with amazement, the softness of his exquisitely structured face, and even the mess of the hair on his head. All of it. All of him. It was gorgeous.<br/>
“So Iwa-chan does have some emotion in him.” Oikawa chuckled. Soon later receiving a a punch to the shoulder. “Hey!” Oikawa yelled, only to receive another punch. “You’re just like Suga.” He muttered as he rubbed his shoulder to soothe the bruising pain.<br/>
“So you like the stars huh.” Iwa wondered aloud completely ignoring Oikawa’s mumbles of over exaggerated pain.<br/>
“The stars?” Oikawa’s face muddled with confusion. “No, no. I like the moon.” Iwa’s gaze was torn away to look at Oikawa as he asked.<br/>
“How could you ever like something as dull as that?”<br/>
“It’s not dull.” Oikawa declared looking back up at the sky for a brief moment. “Simply… overlooked.” Anyone could tell you how they loved the stars. How the glistening lights were magnificent, but very few admired the ever changing moon at the midst of it all. The gleaming planet forming different shapes as the nights went on, the crescents and half moons. Not to mention the special occasions to witness the blue and blood moons. It fascinated Oikawa, always and forever.<br/>
“And you? The stars.” Oikawa carried on.<br/>
“They’re the millions of lights guiding you home.” Iwa as well looked back towards the sky as if looking at them would provide some sort of explanation for his attraction.<br/>
“Well one could argue the moon is also a light.” Oikawa reckoned.<br/>
“Oh shut it shitty-kawa and let me enjoy this.” He clearly tried to maintain his so called angered and annoyed tone, but Oikawa could hear the hint of joy in his voice.<br/>
“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa asked shyly.<br/>
“Hm?” His voice hummed roughly in the back of his throat. Iwa acknowledged his question, his eyes not breaking contact with the world above. His mind undoubtedly lost in thoughts Oikawa wished to pry into.<br/>
“Why do you hate me?” After a brief couple seconds in anguished silence, Iwa spoke.<br/>
“I don’t hate you.” Iwa let out. It had no emotion, it was practically robotic. A reflex maybe.<br/>
“Then why do you treat me like nothing?” Of course, this wouldn’t be the type of conversation you had with anyone upon some of your first encounters. Maybe it was because they were soulmates, or maybe it was because the time they spent together felt unified in emotion.<br/>
“You're getting in your head” It wasn’t the first time, though it was quite the event for someone to point it out so easily.<br/>
“You call me names and ignore me, is there something wrong with me? Is there something you hate about me?” Oikawa’s splurge of thoughts were suddenly blurting out of his mouth. He didn’t have control. This never happened.<br/>
“Oikawa there’s nothing wrong with you, your human. Humans have flaws.”<br/>
“But why? Why do you act like everything between us is a joke?”<br/>
“I don’t believe in love. I told you that before. I don’t believe in soulmates, you can tell me I’m stupid because clearly to have a mark like everyone else. But I don’t think it ever lasts, I think love is destructive, it hurts people. And when we are convinced we’re in love we go on and continue hurting people. I don’t want to be hurt.”<br/>
In the short period of time Oikawa had known Iwa, he never thought he would open up too quickly. Though of course he would. They weren’t just any two ordinary people, as much as Iwa would try to prove it. They were tied in a way no one knew, and maybe it was because Iwa was still trying to prove his idea of how love was destructive, or maybe it was the bond that held<br/>
them together, but something was there. Even if it was the smallest spark of light, something was there, and it was going to continue to ignite.<br/>
“Who hurt you?” The questions simmered through the air, dainty and uplifting.<br/>
“The world.” Iwa’s voice hung in the air with endless thoughts and endless sky. They sat in silence, admiring all the other worlds. </p><p>After an hour or so of sightseeing, stargazing, and exchanging of random thoughts they finally decided to head home.<br/>
“I’ll drop you off.” Iwa offered.<br/>
“Iwa-chan no, I can walk you home.”<br/>
“Look, you took me out and paid for the coffee, so I’ll walk you home.”<br/>
“Oh c’mon I’ve pestered you enough.”<br/>
“If you keep rebuttling my offers then you’re pestering me so accept the damn offer.” He was clearly aggravated.<br/>
“Ok. But you don’t even know where I live.” Oikawa accepted though pointed out the obvious.<br/>
“Wow Oikawa, that didn’t occur to me.” The extreme amount of sarcasm was dosed into the phrase as Iwa continued talking. “Maybe I wanted to walk you home to see where you live? Ever thought of that dumbass-kawa?”<br/>
“Oh so he does care.” Oikawa giggled. He cared in the slightest. He was showing some form of interest and it was only the third time they met. It felt as though they had known each other for years, reading one another like an open book. In another life, perhaps they were soulmates. Not in the way they were now, but the kind of soulmate you would never let go. The platonic sort. The one where their lives were interconnected for countless years of their lives.<br/>
“Ok this is it.” Oikawa confirmed once they had reached the door to his apartment after their entertaining walk over from the park. He unlocked the door setting a foot in.<br/>
“Okay then.” Iwa tucked his hands into his pockets, looking at his feet awaiting something. Oikawa didn’t know what exactly, so he did what any person would do, only realizing how awkward it was when he asked it.<br/>
“Do you wanna come inside for some…”<br/>
“For some coffee?” Iwa finished the sentence with a laugh.<br/>
“Seems a bit ironic, don’t you think?” Oikawa stood by the entrance of the door.<br/>
“Goodnight Sleepy-kawa.”<br/>
“I had fun.” Oikawa peeped out with his nervousness taking over. Iwa however, didn’t say anything but nod, leaving Oikawa to say something. Though he desperately didn’t want the night to end, and how he wished he could spend more time with Iwa, he said his goodbyes with some sadness, but concealed excitement at the idea of seeing him the next day. “Goodnight, Iwa-chan.”<br/>
With a tilt of the side of his lip, Iwa stalked off into the hallway. Oikawa shut the door immediately, falling to the ground with a heavy amount of anxiety that was momentarily rushing through him.</p><p>He smiled breathlessly. Oh what a journey awaited him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let me know what you think! Thank you!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Side Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HEY HEY HEY </p><p>SO... I'm in a really really good mood, that may be because I've been bingewatching Ouran highschool host club, but it's fineeeee. If you were wondering, I called this a side chapter, cuz well... it's a side chapter. It has nothing really to do with the plot, more so just cute and fun scenes with multiple POVs and to explore more characters. There's multiple POVs in this chapter, this takes place right after the last chapter, or say during it as well. So yay! Because what did Daichi and Suga do on their anniversary? And what do Makki and Matsu do when Iwa leaves the apartment? Who knows? </p><p>And, once you reach the Matsu and Makki part, please, please, please listen to Paper Rings by Taylor Swift because it makes me very happy. Anyways enjoy!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey there, Oikawa.” An unfamiliar voice sounded from behind Oikawa. He tilted his head upwards to face a guy he had never seen before. His only defining feature being bald, and obnoxiously loud. If today couldn't get any crazier, there was now a random stranger raiding in kicthen.<br/>
“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? GET DOWN, UH HANDS IN THE AIR!” Oikawa panicked, clutching onto an umbrella by the front entrance. He was still sitting on the ground when his legs gave way from the gathered anxiety. It was the only object his hands could find in close proximity, and other than his keys, the umbrella seemed it could make a viable weapon.<br/>
“WHAT WHOA WHO’S ATTACKING US!” The man crouched down to the ground, putting his hands on his head as if he were in the middle of a shootout. The poor guy lacked an insane amount of common sense.<br/>
“NO YOU FUCKING IDIOT YOU!” Oikawa screamed at him, continuing to point the tip of the umbrella towards him.<br/>
“WHO ME? Oh, ya that’s right we haven’t met.” He got up from his place on the ground making his way to help Oikawa off the floor. “I’m Tanaka.”<br/>
“OIKAWA? OPEN THE DOOR.” Iwa’s voice came pounding through the door, along with his heavy fist slamming against it.<br/>
“Oh fuck me.” Oikawa slumped, lazily reaching for the handle above his place on the floor to reveal an angered and worried Iwaizumi. Oikawa’s emotions were surely a roller coaster in the past couple of minutes. Anxious, scared, somewhat relieved and then a pleasing warmth of familiarity as soon as he saw Iwa’s face.<br/>
“I-I heard yelling. Are you ok?” Iwa stuttered. He acted as though he didn’t expect Oikawa to open the door and had not planned what to do when he did.<br/>
“Yea, yea this guy over here scared the shit out of me.” Oikawa sent a stare with billions of daggers Tanaka's way.<br/>
“HEY IWA!” Tanaka continued with his intensely enthusiastic yelling, which Oikawa found incredibly annoying.<br/>
“Hey Tanaka.” Iwa nodded his way in calm acknowledgement.<br/>
“Wait, what are you even doing here anyway?” Oikawa directed the question towards Tanaka. He’d never met Daichi’s roommate before, and this was definitely an odd way to meet.<br/>
“Oh you know, it’s their anniversary today.” Tanaka said, still carrying through with his venture through the kitchen. “You got any pork buns?”<br/>
Ignoring the question because he knew they didn’t have any and was still wondering why he was there in the first place, Oikawa probed. “And that gives you an excuse to be here?”<br/>
“YUP. We both know they’ll be doing the nasty tonight.” He said it so casually, it made Oikawa’s draw drop at the comment. Of course he knew that, but he wasn’t going to say anything.<br/>
“Oh shut it Tanaka.” Iwa interjected.<br/>
“Just saying what everyone was thinking. Anyways, I have no intention of hearing that and they should have the night to themselves, and being the considerate person I am, I'm crashing somewhere else.”<br/>
“And you chose my place?”<br/>
“Perfect place to get to know each other. No doubt we’ll be the best men of the wedding, gotta get to know you if we’re going to have a killer speech and flash mob.”<br/>
“What are you even saying, I’ll plan all that.”<br/>
“Uh- I’m just going to head out now.” Iwa said awkwardly pointing his thumb to the door behind him. Although a hand reached for him to stop him in his path.<br/>
“Very sorry to keep bothering Iwa-chan, but if you don’t want that to keep happening, I’m gonna need your phone number.” Oikawa huffed, done with the craze of the day handing Iwa his phone. He took a few minutes before handing it back and making his way home.<br/>
“Now, look like I’m stuck with you.” Oikawa turned to an ever-smiling, crazy, maniac. Or so he assumed. </p><p>_____</p><p>	“The dinner was great.” Suga smiled endearingly up at his soulmate. Suga was often mistaken for a soft soul, and of course he was, but he was so much more. He was kind as could be, but enthusiastic as ever, and not to mention random at times, making him all the more fun to hang around.<br/>
“Oh stop sugarcoating it.” Daichi looked down at his feet, disappointed with how the night went. They were sitting on the long leather couch of Daichi’s apartment, coats aside, shirts buttoned down a bit, takeout on the counter, and a random sitcom neither knew playing in the background.<br/>
He had extravagant plans for their two year anniversary. They were to attend the new, posh restaurant which Suga had been talking about for ages. Daichi made reservations a month in advance to secure a place for them, though when they arrived the plan fell to pieces. Daichi got into an argument with one of the waitresses, and asked to speak to the manager. Before anything could get anything worse for it so evidently clear they weren’t going to get in anyways, Suga dragged them out of the building and onto a new adventure of their own.<br/>
They took a stroll to the  burrito place they first met, which ever since has been one of their favourite places to grab a bite. It was pretty good for street food anyway, and Suga always did find a solution for every problem.<br/>
“I’m really not. It is great.” It was true after all, Suga had a soft spot for fast food, and he wouldn't lie in saying he didn't mind getting a casual dinner instead of paying for a grand one that would take a big amount of money from either of their bank accounts.<br/>
“It wasn’t how it was supposed to go.” Daichi held his head in his hands, full of frustration.<br/>
“Doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.”<br/>
“No but I was supposed to take you to this eccentric restaurant, be all romantic and then we would head back here.”<br/>
“Isn't that exactly what we did?” Suga chuckled.<br/>
“Oh stop it you know what I mean.”<br/>
“Exactly. So tell me Daichi, what exactly did you have planned for when we came home?” Suga said as he straddled his hips, looking him straight into the eyes with an all too innocent look on his face.<br/>
A wicked grin traveled up Daichi’s face. He placed his hands on Suga’s waist gently, looking him up and down. He realized he was so worried about the restaurant he forgot to pay attention to how spectacular his soulmate looked tonight, and besides the point he forgot to pay him thousands of compliments.<br/>
“This.” Daichi said, making a move to lean his mouth onto Suga’s. “And this.” He added, travelling to a place on his cheek. “And this.” He continued, reaching his neck, and leaving a trail of kisses down to his throat, to his adam’s apple. Simultaneously, his hands moved up the sides, meeting at the top of Suga’s shirt to unbutton it further. Allowing Daichi to continue his trail down his chest.<br/>
“Daichi.” Suga groaned. “Daichi.” He said again to regain his attention.<br/>
“You look so beautiful.” Daichi looked back up at him, wonder in his eyes. This was his soulmate. The boy he would forever love until the very end.<br/>
“Save the compliments for later,” Suga quipped, letting his own hands unbutton Daichi’s own shirt. He leaned in for a kiss, letting the heat consume them both, as they devoured each other in the moment. Soon enough, Daichi backed Suga up until they were both standing, desperately ripping off the other’s clothes without breaking their cluster of kisses. Their feet danced into Daichi’s room, closing the door and stumbling onto the bed to whisk the night away, gasps and giggles, and love until the sun rose the next day. </p><p>_____</p><p>	Every time they were alone in the house they would have the time of their lives. Time that no one else would ever know about. Whilst Iwa was out on his date with Oikawa, and Kyotani was off probably doing something troublesome, or even illegal, Matsu and Makki used the time for themselves.<br/>
Of course they were like any ordinary guy, they ate, they slept, they drank, and of course they listened to music. Where most people tended to gravitate towards one sort of genre, or one artist in particular, Matsu and Makki found their music taste reaching across every type. And though they would most likely deny it if someone ever asked, they absolutely adore what most people would call “girly”. But music shouldn’t have gender, or labelled to fit stereotypes. They acknowledged that, so their neighbours wouldn’t be mistaken if they ever heard them screeching the lyrics to What Makes You Beautiful at the top of their lungs.<br/>
“What do you figure they're doing?” Matsu piped, looking over to Makki who was sitting across from him.<br/>
“Something…” Makki got up to connect his phone to the speaker in the kitchen. For the two of them, explaining feelings and ideas through songs was the perfect way to go. It was something they both understood. “Along the lines of this.”<br/>
The beat of the song began booming through the speaker sending Makki into a small little dance as he began to sing the lyrics. <em> Paper rings <em> by Taylor Swift was undoubtedly one of his most recently favoured songs. Before they both knew it, Mastu was also on his feet and they were dancing around the room, teasing one another. Dancing along all objects, jumping on the sofa like little kids, running around with blankets, and a ton of ridiculous facial expressions. Makki pretended he was Oikawa, and Matsu pretended he was Iwa. They held hands, they fake-proposed, all in all it was a performance to behold. Matsu and Makki were a pair to behold.</em></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <em><br/>
_____</em>
  </em>
</p><p>“Look who’s home from his date.” Matsu’s voice crowded the room. Iwa walked through the door, throwing his keys onto the side counter before he dropped onto the couch in between Matsu and Makki from exhaustion.<br/>
“What’d you do? Smoochy smoochy?” Makki added.<br/>
“You’re acting like children.” Iwa rasped.<br/>
“Oh please you definitely did the nasty.”<br/>
“You know what? We’re not gonna talk about it, where’s the pizza?”<br/>
“In kyotanis room.” Matsu responded.<br/>
“The fuck.” Iwa turned his head towards the door of Kyotani’s room.<br/>
“Yea he kinda just YEETED it into his room when he came home.” Iwa groaned out in coupled exhaustion and frustration, lifting himself off the couch and lazily walking over to his room.<br/>
If it wasn’t said clearly enough, they broke college students, and four roommates did save money, however that meant two people shared a room. Since Matsu and Makki shared, it made perfect sense for Kyotani and Iwa to share, especially given Iwa was the only one who could communicate properly with Kyotani.<br/>
The whole story of becoming roommates was a haze, especially concerning the fact Kyotani was a year younger than the rest of the boys. They all went to the same highschool years before, explaining their close relationship, and wherever Iwa went, Kyotani followed. Not by some sort of affixation or obsession, more so Iwa’s ability to convince him he was capable of much more. In fact the guy wasn’t even planning on going to college until Iwa convinced it would light a better future for him. Iwa was just the guy always looking out for him, and he would be forever grateful.<br/>
“Give me some pizza.” Iwa demanded, standing in front of Kyotani’s bed. Their room was nothing special, two twin beds on either side, car posters lining the wall, a desk with a gaming monitor and basically anything you would expect from an apartment shared by four guys.<br/>
“What were you doing tonight?” Kyotani inquired, handing the nearly empty pizza box to Iwa.<br/>
“On a date believe it or not.” Iwa lounged on his bed, pizza box on his lap and started eating. He was absolutely starving. He was supposed to have dinner hours ago until Oikawa showed up at the door, and took them both for coffee, which wasn’t a meal at all.<br/>
On the other hand, Kyotani made a disgusted noise continuing to rave his hands against the controller in his hand. Whereas Iwa chortled a laugh at his response. Kyotani paid no mere<br/>
interest in love. In fact Iwa didn’t even know if he had a mark, or what it said. In complete honesty, Kyotani was what Iwa wanted to be. So incredibly disgusted by love to not even give a care in the world about it. It was so easy to talk as though he hated it, so easy to try and convince everyone around him that he truly didn’t care. But of course he did. He cared immensely, and he hated it. He despised how easily his heart could fall for something so destructive, so selfish, so horrible like love.<br/>
To drown in his thoughts and to block out the sound of Kyotani’s constant gritting and murmuring from losing whatever game he was playing, Iwa plugged his earphones in staring straight towards the ceiling.<br/>
He was terrified to fall asleep. The voices were pounding in his ears as they always did, screaming in his head but silent to everyone around him. He knew he was falling for Oikawa and he desperately wanted it to stop. He wanted it all to stop. But how could he? After all, he was falling in love. </p><p>
  <em>
    <em>_____</em>
  </em>
</p><p>	“I wonder how they got on?” Daichi questioned as they walked down the hallway of Suga’s building. It was mid day, and if anything the night before was filled with plenty of fun.<br/>
“I bet there’s some kind of mess awaiting us.” Suga laughed at the thought, and just as he suspected there was mess awaiting them in the living room of the apartment. Although, not the mess either had anticipated.<br/>
Instead of the angered, broken piece of furniture thrown all over the place, Oikawa and Tanaka were fast asleep on the sofa. Oikawa's head lay on Tanaka's lap, Tanaka's head drawn back, mouth wide open, a blanket draped across them both, scattered bowls of popcorn, and even dry tears imprinting their face.<br/>
Suga and Daichi were so conflicted between the shock and the laughter that neither knew what to do but smile.<br/>
“I thought they would hate each other.” Daichi said, walking into the room to inspect the scene.<br/>
“Well whatever this is, it’s much better.” Suga assured fetching some mugs to make some coffee, and even prepared toast for the two boys who clearly had nothing to eat. “I wonder what they were doing.”<br/>
“The Titanic?” Daichi suggested flipping over the dvd left on the countertop. He met Suga’s face with a smile, as they laughed so hard they fell to the ground, thudding horribly loud, waking up both Tanaka and Oikawa in raging screams.<br/>
With that, the room was full of joyous laughs and questionable yelling, but all the same the moments would turn to a memory they would all remember.</p><p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>SO... i know I didn't really go smutty smut with Daichi and Suga, but I kinda like it that way but leave your advice and thoughts in the comments. Also I intend to do more of these side stories, so tell me what you think about that and characters you'd like to see. Anyways, thanks again!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>no because it's the way i forgot to do notes at the beginning please. I guess I was just really excited with this chapter. Not gonna lie, it took me a while to figure out what I wanted to do with this chapter. But I was really pleased with it!! Anyways enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Oikawa hadn’t seen Iwa for prolonged periods of time for the past couple days. It was during the week after all, and they both still had classes to attend. Though they did make an effort in seeing each other. That is, Oikawa made sure he used his thirty days cautiously. There were a few times they spent lunch together, or hours after dark texting away. Their conversations ranged upon very wide topics. They spoke of their favourite hobbies, favourite things, everything about their lives. It wasn’t a surprise when Iwa told Oikawa he spent a lot of time at the gym given his bodily structure. He would be embarrassed to say that he had spent quite a few minutes inspecting it. The carefully carved muscles lining every inch of his body. Oikawa certainly wouldn’t mind undressing it.<br/>
Anytime he was with Iwa, Oikawa felt as though he was enough. Like he belonged. Except for the daunting feeling of him leaving. The idea he was going to fail and unable to convince him to stay. He didn’t know whether it was pulling him down or driving him forward. Maybe he was messing around because he knew Iwa would leave, or maybe he was messing around with the intent of showing Iwa everything he loved. Oikawa only knew that as fate would have it, he liked Iwa.It truly was the impossible fairytale he thought of come to life.<br/>
It seemed the weekends were the way to go in allotting a valuable amount of time to spend with one another. It made perfect sense, of course, it just wasn’t particularly ideal with the countdown Oikawa had.<br/>
Everyone knew nothing could beat a Friday night date. Now some people would take their significant others to a new movie playing in theatres, or an elegant restaurant to subdue their taste buds. But Oikawa had other plans in mind.<br/>
“What do you have in store today Shitty-kawa.” The two boys were walking down the street lit with street lamps side by side.<br/>
“You know that nickname is really getting on my nerves.” He practically made any excuse to use the name, or use some sort of adjective that correlated with the situation. It was cute to have a nickname, though in these terms Oikawa wasn’t necessarily sure if it made the best of the situation. However, he wouldn’t lie and say he didn’t like it.<br/>
“Would you like me to call you idiot again?" Iwa offered.<br/>
“No I quite enjoy the subtle acknowledgment thank you very much.”<br/>
“So where are we going?”<br/>
“It’s a surprise.”<br/>
“Surprises are boring.”<br/>
“Then you obviously don't know what a surprise is.” “So how’s the tutoring going?” Oikawa had been genuinely interested in how it was going. Besides, English and literature were one of his favourite classes. It provoked his wandering mind, thoughts released into the air. In addition, he enjoyed discussing it with others to understand their ideas and opinions. Where some cases could lead into heavy arguments, Oikawa was always the type of person who would come to try and understand everyone’s points of view and tailor to their thoughts.<br/>
“Well I’d say ok I guess.” Iwa pushed it aside as though it were nothing. It was definitely not how they came to meet. Definitely not the start of their relationship.<br/>
“So Pygmalion. I want your thoughts.” Pygmalion happened to be one of his first year reads, and Oikawa didn’t necessarily relish in the pages as he did with countless other books. It didn’t mean he wouldn’t enjoy a piece of discussion because no matter what it was everyone had their opinion on something.<br/>
“C'mon, I'm here with you to get away from school.”<br/>
He dragged his hand up to his chest, with an exasperated look in mild offence.“Really? I thought you were here because you loved me.” Purposefully, he exaggerated the use of love in his sentence. There was no harm in joking around and he was pretty fantastic afterall. At least Oikawa thought so at times.<br/>
“Oh shut up Shittykawa you know what I mean.”<br/>
“So your thoughts then Iwa-chan. I’m genuinely intrigued.”<br/>
“I thought it was boring.”<br/>
“Of course of course, but what of the ending, the whole of the story.”<br/>
“I really couldn’t tell you Oikawa.”<br/>
“Guess your tutor isn’t great after all. Maybe you should take me back.” Oikawa slipped in the last part randomly.<br/>
“You just want to spend more time with me.” Iwa challenged.<br/>
“And what if I do?” It was true. He did want to spend more time with him, and it would be a total bonus since it was two things he thoroughly liked.<br/>
Completely ignoring Oikawa’s last words, Iwa changed the subject out of awkward discomfort. “Where are we heading anyways?” He asked again. He wasn’t exactly a patient man, though Oikawa had to be grateful he accepted the deal in the first place.<br/>
“How clever, he dodged the question. How well do you know this town?”<br/>
“Not super well, I guess?”<br/>
“But you’ve lived here for three years.”<br/>
“Doesn’t mean I care very much about it.” Oikawa incidentally had the same thought. He didn’t know very much of the town either, other than the fact he attended university in “close” proximity, it was cheaper to live than directly within the city, and that it was small but simultaneously busy.<br/>
“So my proposal is we learn about the town.”<br/>
“That’s gotta be one of the most boring things ever.” Iwa drolled, obviously disinterested in the plan.<br/>
“Or the most adventurous.” Oikawa countered.<br/>
“And what exactly are we doing, checking out buildings?” The sarcasm could never have been so sour.<br/>
“Well tonight, we check out a museum.” Oikawa said, stopping in front of the building to their right. The building of which Iwa had never seen or taken any notice as they were walking by. It wasn't very tall, and looked more like a cathedral if anything. It had intricate designs carves all over the walls, and ionic columns supporting the building. To Oikawa, it was one of his most cherished destinations. To Iwa, it was just another building. Iwa followed in Oikawa’s footsteps to the grand front doors.<br/>
Eyeing the signs and given that it was already nine thirty, Iwa’s spirits were lifted. “It’s closed, ever use your head Brainless-kawa?”<br/>
“Oh but of course, we’ll be breaking in.” Oikawa began making his way around the building towards a side door.<br/>
“Oikawa, that's illegal.” Iwa exclaimed in a sort of whispered shout. Although, it wasn't as if anyone could hear them. Practically no one was around.<br/>
“But you don’t seem to be the kind of person that lets that hold you back now do you?” Oikawa said, leaving Iwa speechless. “It’s an adventure.”<br/>
“So basically we’re becoming criminals?” Iwa tried to get a sense of Oikawa’s so called, exploring the town.<br/>
“I’d like to call it, partners in crime.” He flashed a smile at the silly thought before scooping away into the backdoor, followed by Iwa and his scoff of the probability it was for him to ever end up in this situation.<br/>
“Would you like to know how we got in?” Oikawa finally asked after they made their way through the empty corridors. There wasn't any security, as it was a pretty small museum without very significant artifacts.<br/>
“Knowing how could make me an accomplice.” Iwa replied, his arms were crossed, his head darting in different directions to inspect the premises.<br/>
“Well, we’re not really breaking in.” Oikawa began to explain. “My professor asked me to pick up a few things for her and gave me the keys. I spend a lot of time around here.”<br/>
“So we’re errand running.” Oikawa wasn’t sure if he sounded disappointed, or that it was Iwa’s nature of being so direct and blunt.<br/>
“No we’re running.” Oikawa abruptly began sprinting down the wide corridor, with no clue as to where he wanted to go. More so enjoying the thrill of running through the museum at night with the shouts of Iwa behind him as well as his own pounding footsteps.<br/>
From behind him, his right hand was taken by another. He didn’t doubt Iwa was a good runner, nor that he would catch up to him in no time. They both locked eyes for a moment, joy and excitement in them both, suddenly replaced by the shock of the holding of their hands. They both looked down, heart pounding, not from the run, but from the anticipation.<br/>
“Sorry.” As Iwa began to move his hand away, Oikawa clutched back onto it, not wanting to let go.<br/>
“No, it’s fine.” His voice sang sweetly, “I like it.” He said, once again beginning to walk, dragging Iwa with him. He didn’t look back to see Iwa’s shrivelled timid face of hysteria. </p><p>They walked for a few minutes, Oikawa navigating the area and explaining many things of which Iwa had no idea of. The only things he took notice in were the cold marble floor, the contuation of carves designs within the large halls of the building, and the very high ceiling which made him feel ever so small. On the other hand, Iwa was more concentrated on his hand in Oikawa’s. He didn’t know whether he was holding it too tight, or too softly that it made him seem like he didn’t want to hold hands. He figured his hands were getting sweaty, though he tried to focus on staying calm. He never thought he would lose his sanity over holding someone's hand.<br/>
“You don’t need to feel forced to hold my hand.” Oikawa looked at him with a calm smile of reassurement.<br/>
“No. No, it’s fine.” Iwa’s voice broke into a million pieces. It was plainly obvious how uncomfortable he was. Despite what he had just said, Oikawa let go of his hand, inflating more of Iwa’s untamed anxiety. “Hey I said it was fine.” Iwa tried to protest, unsure if he was trying to satisfy Oikawa, or if he enjoyed Oikawa’s contacted presence.<br/>
“Look, he wants to hold my hand.” Oikawa laughed to himself before withdrawing the keys they used to get in from his jacket pocket. “As much as I would love to Iwa-chan, we have arrived at the destination.” He opened a door, which seemed to be some sort of office and disappeared into it without even switching on the light. It looked an awful lot like the professor’s offices at the university. Dark oak furniture filled the room with overflowing papers and books jutting from any place they could be put.<br/>
Iwa wondered how on Earth Oikawa was going to find what he was looking for in this mess. He knew he wasn’t one to talk given he lived in a crap pile himself, but it was his mess so he knew exactly where everything was. This on the other hand, was completely different.<br/>
“Where’d you go?” Iwa said, looking for him in the dark room. It was a small office for Christ’s sake, where the hell could he have gone? “C’mon Shitty-kawa.” He muttered, until his hands found a handle against the wall. Another door leading to another room. “What the fuck.” Iwa walked through the door to reveal what seemed to be the gallery of paintings they walked past earlier. Around the time Oikawa was explaining some sort of art style when Iwa was wondering if his hand was going numb.<br/>
The place was some sort of artistic maze. Iwa wandered up to one of the paintings of a small little boy hiding under a sheet with two holes for eyes. A ghost, with green eyes like his own. He found himself drawn towards the picture in an eerie way, considering he was in an empty dark museum after hours.<br/>
“Intriguing, isn’t it.” As a reflex, Iwa punched the figure in the gut from where the sound emitted. Only to realize the only other person here was Oikawa, and let alone it was Oikawa’s voice he heard.<br/>
“Shit. you fucking scared me.” He looked down at Oikawa who was bending over, clutching onto his stomach. Though Iwa did recall, he hadn’t put too much force behind the hit.<br/>
“Ow. Jeez. Didn’t know you were such a scaredy cat?” His face twisted in anguished pain.<br/>
“Am not.” Iwa countered, though the heat in his cheeks betrayed him. But it wasn’t as if anyone could thoroughly see it.<br/>
“I can bet on that.” Oikawa finally recovered, standing perfectly straight. Absolutely towering over Iwa. It amazed Iwa how tall he was. In fact he hadn’t really realized it until now. Between the two of them, no one would ever expect someone like him to have so much height.<br/>
“What's that supposed to mean?” He responded in confused thought, twisted with urging curiosity.<br/>
“I propose a game of hide and seek.” He said it so formally it sent Iwa into a quick fitting laugh. “What? Do you think it's childish? Guess you’re not up for it.” Oikawa crossed his arms in a smug and pompous manner. Sometimes he really did act like a kid, but it made him all the more fun to be around.<br/>
“Fine then, let’s play.” Iwa confirmed, hiding his excitement with his typical guttural angered voice.<br/>
“Fine. I’ll go hide, and you can find me.”<br/>
“Fine then.” He murmured, unintendedly harsher than the last.<br/>
“You said that already.”<br/>
“Do you want to play or not?’” Iwa grunted like he didn’t care. Truth was, he was about to find it exhilarating.<br/>
“Start counting.” Oikawa winked, dashing off into the dark corners of the museum.<br/>
Once he finished, Iwa felt himself smile, stalking the walls and their long shadows. He felt on top of the world.<br/>
It wasn’t hard to find Oikawa. It took him a mere couple of minutes. He posed by a statue, a compromising position. The thing that gave him away was his hair, recognizable from anywhere. The carefree and yet such poised waves of chestnut hair matched perfectly with his eyes. The same one’s Iwa found himself staring into far too often to be considered normal.<br/>
The hard part however, was catching him. It essentially became a prolonged game of tag, as they ran through a museum all night like children. Hiding behind curtains, nearly knocking down several priceless statues, disappearing into rooms, and running through the halls like there was no tomorrow. Their shrills of laughter and silly banter bounced through the halls, along with their heavy footsteps and breaths, and their hearts that had never felt so light.</p><p>Oikawa hadn’t realized how much time had passed as he quickly checked his phone to read it was quarter to eleven. He was crouched behind a pillar in one of the main corridors, which surely wasn’t a good spot to hide, but his legs were giving in and Iwa was rooms away. Or so he presumed. Thundering from the room two doors down, Iwa’s racing steps came from behind him. With quick intentions, Oikawa shoved the phone back into his pocket making a move to run.<br/>
“You’re not that fast you know.” Iwa shouted, only a couple metres away judging from the proximity of the voice.<br/>
“I was doing something,” Oikawa yelled back, running as fast as he could. But the little voice in his head was shyly whispering to slow down to get caught.<br/>
And as Iwa came to tag him along the back, Oikawa tripped over his shoes sending them both tumbling towards the ground. He couldn’t tell how they got in the position, but Oikawa was on his back facing Iwa who was above him, hands holding himself up by the sides of his head. They stared at each other for a moment's end, panting from exhaustion with a resting smile.<br/>
“Pretty position.” Oikawa smirked after a few minutes to catch their breaths. Iwa shaking his head as if unsure of what to say, lifted himself off the ground, extending a hand to help Oikawa off the ground.<br/>
“I caught you.” Iwa pridely stated, clutching his hand on Oikawa’s left shoulder.<br/>
“Better take me home then?” Oikawa offered playfully. He sure did get a kick out of flirting. Though the relationship with Iwa was far more serious than his past relationships and flings, his frivolous approach made things all the more easier.<br/>
“Yea, I bet Suga would want to know of your criminal activities.” Oikawa burst into laughter at the thought. There were two types of Suga people tended to know. The caring, mom friend of the group, and the chaotic, random boy full of fun. Oikawa was lucky to know both very well. “What? He’s not a criminal too is he?” Iwa joked, laughing alongside Oikawa.<br/>
After recovering from his fit of laughter, Oikawa realized he really didn’t want the night to end. “Suga’s not home. Want to come over?” He actually had no idea whether Suga was home or not, at this hour, but he assumed he was with Daichi. Of course he knew what inviting him home implied, and as much as Oikawa desired to be with Iwa in that way, he also knew it was far too soon to tell anything. In reality, he just thought of introducing Iwa to his own little world, and maybe for now that was showing him his home.<br/>
The few seconds of silence sent piercing needles to his pride. What if he didn't want to stay?<br/>
“Sure.” Iwa latched onto Oikawa’s hand out of nowhere as they headed out the door of the museum. Soon enough, the needles became butterflies radiating from every part of him.</p><p>	“Welcome. Take a look around, take a seat, whatever you want to.” Oikawa said as he walked through the front door with Iwa trailing behind him into the empty apartment.<br/>
“I’ve been here before you know.” Iwa responded. Oikawa recalled the night Tanaka stayed over, and it was true he had been here before, but he had only stood by the front door. It was as though they were both standing at the edge of the walls they put up on their hearts, on their minds, and on their lives. Oikawa wanted to tear Iwa’s walls down, he wanted to know him, and if that meant he had to tear down a few of his own, he didn’t necessarily mind.<br/>
Especially if the walls were the ones he showed many people. The lies to keep everyone smiling, including himself.<br/>
Iwa made way towards the living room, propping up against the long gray sofa. He inspected the area around him carefully, mindlessly picking up a book on the glass coffee table and began flipping through the pages as any person would.<br/>
Oikawa watched him carefully from the kitchen, gathering a small platter of food and a drink for the both of them. There was simply nothing like a snack to help replenish their energy and of course a little bit of alcohol to treat their injured minds.<br/>
“So what would you like to do?” Oikawa said, setting down the plate of crackers, cheese, and lunch meat, as well as a bottle of gin, tonic, and two glasses. He then moved to sit comfortably on the couch just a small space away from Iwa.<br/>
“Are you trying to get me drunk?” Iwa accused at the sight of the bottle, but didn’t seem to mind as he poured himself and Oikawa a glass immediately.<br/>
“Maybe.” Oikawa laughed, accepting the glass Iwa passed on to him.<br/>
“So first you make me a criminal, and now you’re getting me drunk? Oh, Clever-kawa how deceptive.” He smirked while Oikawa chuckled nervously,  taking a long gulp of the drink. Clearly Oikawa wasn’t the only one who turned to alcohol at times, even though it was an unhealthy coping strategy. “Tv?” Iwa proposed.<br/>
“Sure. What do you want to watch?”<br/>
“I’m good with anything.”  Iwa shrugged. The smiles increase at a rapid rate.<br/>
“Sure about that?” Oikawa confirmed, “Because I don’t know if you’ll particularly agree with my own choices.”<br/>
“Choose away.” Iwa opened up his hands to demonstrate he pretty much didn’t care what Oikawa chose.<br/>
“So I recommend we watch Alien, or Star trek, or maybe Men in Black.” Immediately he could tell Iwa was trying to hold back a laugh. “What? What’s so funny?”<br/>
“Aliens?” Iwa choked out in between his sudden bursts of laughter. “You, like aliens?”<br/>
“Well would you rather we watch some cheesy rom com?” He thought back to the night he watched the Titanic with Tanaka, or the years of watching Clueless with Suga. There was no way Iwa would sit and watch a film like that with Oikawa.<br/>
“No.” He choked. “No, no any aliens are fine with me. Just never thought-” He choked. Oikawa took it as an opportunity to finish his thought.<br/>
“Never thought. There’s a lot of never thoughts between us aren't there?”<br/>
“Guess you’re just more than a pretty face.” Oikawa couldn’t tell if Iwa was being genuinely serious, or if he was a major lightweight.<br/>
“Did you just call me pretty?” Oikawa set the glass he had been playing with in his hands back onto the coffee table.<br/>
“As a matter of fact I did, and pretty boys like you tend to annoy the shit out of me.” Though the words were somewhat aggressive, the way he said it didn’t portray the same tone. He was joking, and along with it avoiding the question, and dodging the truth. “Anyways, I guess there’s always more to a person than you’d ever realize.”<br/>
“Guess so.” Again the locked eyes like they did earlier in the night. But this time, it felt closer. Their heads slowly attracted towards each other, inch by inch. Oikawa began to feel Iwa’s hot breath against his neck, and as did Iwa. Their eyes both fluttered to a close. Iwa’s hand approached to cup the left side of Oikawa’s face. The soft  contact of his warm hand against his cheek sent sparks all over him. It felt like an extension to himself, it felt like it belonged.<br/>
Everything felt right.<br/>
Until the sound of the door and Suga’s cheery voice tore them apart. “Oikawa, you home?”<br/>
“Over here.” Oikawa’s voice shook nervously, with underlying disappointment.<br/>
“Hey Iwa!” Suga commented enthusiastically at the sight of him next to OIkawa on the couch. “I didn’t know you’d be here.” He lifted his beige coat onto the dark wooden coat rack next to the front entrance, proceedingly making his way into the living room to sit on the matching single seater armchair across from next the boys. “Drinking without me?”<br/>
“I can get you a glass.” Oikawa began racing into the kitchen, desperate to escape the most inconvenient moment of his life. He tuned out of whatever conversation was occurring between Suga and Iwa, whilst he was consumed with the thousands of voices in his head, screaming at him for what had just happened between them.<br/>
Making his way back to the living room, he handed the glass to Suga, pouring the gin and tonic himself, then taking his seat back on the sofa.<br/>
“I actually better get going.” Iwa piped, starting to emerge from his seat. Oikawa happened to react overly quickly in jutting back up to standing position.<br/>
“But you’ve only been here for like fifteen minutes.” He argued hysterically, earning a concerned glance from both Iwa and Suga.<br/>
“Don’t leave on my account.” Suga added, sensing he may have disrupted something between Oikawa and Iwa.<br/>
“No, no it’s pretty late now anyways, I gotta get up early tomorrow.” Iwa protested.<br/>
“I’m so sorry,” Oikawa pleaded, “You should’ve told me, I wouldn’t have kept you out this late.” They began making their way to the front door, Oikawa handing him back his coat.<br/>
“Stop apologizing.” Iwa said with a firm smile. “I had fun tonight.” Him and his dazzling smile were a great new weakness of Oikawa’s. The only reigning thought of how he wished to see Iwa smile more often, and he was very well willing to do anything to keep seeing it.<br/>
“Me too.” He said softly. “Oh my god wait, do you want me to get you a cab? Are you drunk?” The sudden realization flushed back into his mind. They were drinking, and that could explain the smiling.<br/>
“No, I’m fine taking the bus, and no Worry-kawa, I’m not drunk.” He chuckled. “Goodbye then.” He waved off, heading through the door.<br/>
“Goodbye Iwa-chan.” Oikawa watched Iwas stalk through the hallway, leaning his head against the doorframe dreamy eyed. This really was a fairytale.<br/>
Once he closed the door after watching Iwa go down the stairs, he was met with a glaring look from Suga who was standing right behind him.<br/>
“YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT. YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM TO STAY.” Suga screeched.<br/>
“It’s fine. Nothings gonna happen anyways.” Oikawa shook it off. It was fine of course. Sure, he could have tried very hard in making him stay. He did have a good talent in persuasion. But there was no need, nothing he could or wanted to force in happening.<br/>
“NOTHING? Don’t you SEE the way he looks at you? DO YOU SEE THAT OIKAWA? ARE YOU BLIND?” Suga’s eyes were wide with amazement. Amazement of Oikawa’s absolute stupidity, that is.<br/>
“I’ll catch up with him tomorrow.” Oikawa confirmed softly, still lost in clouded dreams and recent memories. The feel of his breath against his skin, his hand in his, his gorgeous smile.<br/>
“NO YOU WON’T, YOU’RE GOING TO GO SEE HIM NOW.” Suga yelled, shoving Oikawa out the door and locking it behind him. It was no use though. Iwa had already left the building.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>heyyyy, kinda a short chapter idk, kinda cute, kinda vibes, hope you like it!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He had spent far too much time thinking of Iwa already. Oikawa was consumed by the boy he had known for a week. It was moving terrifically fast, and yet painfully slow. He infected both his thoughts and his dreams. He couldn’t go a second without the image of his face resurrecting in his head. The coffee he was having reminded him of the coffee he had with Iwa on their first date. The keys he held in his hands reminded him of the night before at the museum. The plants in the room reminded him of his gorgeous eyes. His whole world had been turned upside down.<br/>
But the one thing that sent his mind into a torturous rage was the multiple chances they had to kiss. The moment they were on the floor, or when they returned back to the apartment. It was driving him crazy.<br/>
“Call him already.” Suga rolled his eyes, sitting at one of the highchairs in the kitchen scrolling through his phone. Oikawa had only just entered the kitchen to get another cup of coffee. Some would call it an addiction, but to Oikawa is more like a comfort activity.<br/>
“What?” The comment was most certainly abrupt.<br/>
“Call him. Stop driving yourself mad, it’s excruciating to watch.” Suga let out under his breath.<br/>
“No.” Oikawa whined like a sixteen year old girl, squealing in repulsion. And just like a sixteen year old girl, just seeing Iwa’s contact made his heart thump rapidly. What would he even say anyways? Hi? How are you doing? What if he didn’t get the response he wanted? Was Iwa thinking about him the same way he thought of Iwa? Was he the only person who felt something the other night?<br/>
Unanswered questions hung in the air and rattled his brain.<br/>
Lazily stomping back into his room, still in his pyjamas Oikawa lay down his mug on his small white bedside table, flopping down on his stomach and digging his face into the pillow.<br/>
He debated it for a while, calling Iwa. He normally didn’t have a problem with that, and would text him at random times. Why shouldn’t this time be any different?<br/>
Of course he knew why, it was the one thing holding him back. Slowly but surely, Oikawa gained confidence and sent Iwa a message </p><p>	<em> O: Hey <em></em></em></p><p>
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</p><p>	Maybe it was too soon, or even too obvious, and he did have this planned out of course. The flirty, clever comments.<br/>
Watching the speech bubble appear and disappear sent shivers of anxiety down him, combined with a faint loss of hope. </p><p>
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</p><p>	<em>I: Stop. That’s cheesy. It’s embarrassing. I’m drawing the line. <em></em></em></p><p>
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  <em>	O: Ok, Fair. What time then?<em></em></em>
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</p><p>	<em>I: I’ll text you<em></em></em></p><p>
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</p><p>	<em>O: Sounds good<em></em></em></p><p>
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</p><p>And for the rest of the time he waited for Iwa to show up, Oikawa lay on his bed waiting like a fool for another text that wouldn’t come. </p><p>
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</p><p>	Iwa finally put his phone down after texting Oikawa for the past couple minutes. Oikawa was most definitely a distraction, and he was starting to think he was his favourite one. As for the longing hours and torturous time spent away from him after last night, Iwa was being distracted constantly.<br/>
The mere thought of him made him smile. It was dangerous. Iwa hated it, and yet loved it at the exact same time.<br/>
“Why are you smiling like that? Ew your smile’s creeping me out. Since when did you smile?” Kyotoni peered over Iwa’s shoulder, trying to get a peek at whatever he was doing on his phone.<br/>
A distraction always called for another activity to relieve oneself from said distraction. As for Iwa, that was normally going to the gym. It wasn’t as though he didn’t go to the gym often, in fact he went six times a week. It was certainly a preferred activity and kept him on his toes, pushing for new heights and goals and maintaining a killer shape. In addition, it normally cleared his head, especially when he went with someone. He wasn’t the type to go to the gym alone of course. Iwa always dragged Kyotani along with him. Though, it was more as though Kyotani was simply that Iwa wasn’t the type of person who was always on his phone. He just responded when he was needed, called when it was needed and left it at that.<br/>
Iwa waited a few minutes for Oikawa’s response. He was a competent and persistent guy, so Iwa figured if everything was fine he would respond. But he didn’t, and worry began to grow exponentially.<br/>
This was why he avoided caring this much for others. Especially in a romantic way. It drove him crazy.<br/>
He decided to try calling him instead. But then again, no answer. He phoned numerous times before deciding to go to his place and check it out for himself. Iwa had already said he would come over, so it probably wouldn’t be a problem. Not that he cared anyways. He just wanted to know if Oikawa was alright.<br/>
He marched straight out of the gym building without hesitation, thunderly making his way over to Oikawa’s apartment which wasn’t overly far away. Meanwhile also phoning him endlessly and leaving absurd voicemails hoping he would eventually respond.<br/>
Once he finally arrived at the door, he pounded his fist shouting out Oikawa’s name in anger, completely forgetting another person lived with him.<br/>
“Iwa, hey, what are you doing here?” A confused Suga opened the door to meet a furious face.<br/>
“Is Oikawa home?” His voice was sharp. He didn’t mean it of course, neither did he notice.<br/>
“Uh no.” Suga said.<br/>
“Do you know where I can find him?” Iwa gruffed growing restless.<br/>
“I don’t actually. Have you tried calling him?”<br/>
At that moment Iwa really wanted to yell, to shriek, to get mad, to break something. Even if he was consumed with anger, he knew it wasn’t fair to Suga. Taking in a deep breath he told Suga he had before walking back home with the missing boy engraved in his heart. </p><p>
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</p><p>	He lugged around at home, worried sick, and grumpily sitting on the couch. Never going a minute without checking his phone to see if he got any notifications. Ensuring his ringer was on just in case it wasn’t. He was a mess until the unforgettable knock sounded at the door.<br/>
“Oikawa where the hell were you? Why weren’'t you answering your phone?”<br/>
“Coffee?” He asked shyly, looking up at Oikawa. It wasn’t hard to tell he had been crying. The redness was still in his eyes, glossy and swollen. It hurt him to see Oikawa like this. He really couldn’t know what could have happened.<br/>
In response Iwa grabbed his coat walking out the door to follow Oikawa. No words were exchanged between the two of them. He wanted to yell at him, but he knew he shouldn’t. He waited for Oikawa to say something, Iwa wasn’t the most sociable afterall. He was never very good at starting up a conversation.<br/>
The only words spoken were to the barista at the cafe, and the small argument of who was paying. Which Iwa had won. Oikawa, who would typically never stop fighting, let it go immediately, softly smiling and backing down. This was a new side to him Iwa wasn’t sure he wanted to see.<br/>
“The park?” Oikawa peeped out of the blue, looking over to the hill where they had spent their first date. Iwa nodded as they made their way over, sitting back to where they had like the last time.<br/>
Once relaxed and sitting comfortably, the silence had already driven him into added madness. So he finally decided to ask.<br/>
“What happened?” His voice was soft and rumbly in the back of his throat. Oikawa began leaning back until he was lying flat on the ground and staring straight towards the sky.<br/>
“You know what?” Oikawa asked, dazed into the night.<br/>
“What?”<br/>
“You’re the moon.”<br/>
“Don’t try and avoid the question.” Iwa pressed on.<br/>
“You’re the moon, and you are in love with the world.” Oikawa began. Any other time Iwa would try pressing forward, but this time he decided to listen, leaning back onto the ground just as Oikawa did.<br/>
“No, I'm a person you idiot.”<br/>
“No.”’ He chuckled at his response. “No, I think, I think you may not believe in love, but I think you appreciate every inch of the world around you. You romanticize the world because you understand more than what everyone seems to know about love. You look past the sappy, meaningless things people call love, because you’re the moon. And oftentimes, people look past you and think you to be simple or unworthy, because everyone else worships the stars. But they forget that the moon is an ever changing light, taking different forms, constantly changing. And you’re very quiet about your love for the world. You don’t talk about it endlessly. It’s in the little things you do. Like the way you seem to relax when we sit up and look at the sky, or the rush of adrenaline you get when we ran down the hallways last night. The biggest giveaway is your smile. You can tell how much you love the world with your smile. BEcause everyone forgets the moon, but for those who got to witness it’s beauty, they would remember how powerful it is. The moon is more than you would ever think. The moon shines in every way the stars do.”<br/>
His speech left Iwa wordless and in awe of the beautiful boy beside him, and his beautiful, beautiful words.<br/>
“You are the moon.” Oikawa turned his face back to Iwa, and Iwa turned to face him as well. His eyes weren’t red anymore, they were reflecting the stars in the sky.<br/>
“And you are the stars.” Iwa exhaled.<br/>
“What makes you say that?” Oikawa smiled. God, how his smile made Iwa shrivel up inside.<br/>
“You are loved. You are the thousands of glittering lights in the darkness. The little sparks of hope, and the thing guiding people home. You’re the boy who doesn’t see how beautiful and powerful he is, after being lonely in the dark sky for so long.  You don't realize the millions of people admiring you from down below. But you are one of the most gorgeous things the world has ever seen. You often looked past who you are. You work hard time after time, trying to be enough. But you never noticed how much people loved you, how much people appreciated you, and how much they hold you dear. The stars are more than enough.” Iwa rambled on. Though it wasn’t as put together as Oikawa’s rant about the moon, it was everything Iwa felt. Everything Iwa was feeling spilled into words.<br/>
“I didn’t know you could be so poetic Iwa-chan.” Oikawa giggled.<br/>
“Oh shut up Shitty-kawa.” Iwa shook his head, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment.<br/>
They left the words in the air, as they stared into the night sky witnessing the light of both moon and stars. Admiring them for what they were, hand in hand as they let the hazing sleep take over them, falling asleep under the night sky. Where they were more than the world. They were the moon and it’s stars. </p><p>
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</p><p>	Iwa’s eyes fluttered open to witness the sunrise of the early morning. They had slept through the majority of the night. He dug into his pocket and checked his phone with his left hand, keeping his other interlaced with Oikawa’s, not wanting to disturb him.<br/>
Iwa watched his chest rise up and down and the peace settling over his beautiful face. Iwa’s mind was suddenly boggled with the idea of how he could ever let go of the boy he was madly in love with.<br/>
It wasn’t long until Oikawa awoke. Iwa thought it would be the most graceful thing. It was most certainly not. Oikawa stretched out his limbs, rolling all over the place, groaning and yawning before opening his eyes to find himself laying on the grass with his hand in Iwa’s.<br/>
“Hey Iwa-chan” Oikawa chimed. His morning voice was such a pretty sound.<br/>
“Hey Shittykawa.” Iwa’s mouth tilted into a wicked grin, getting up to stand, and helping Oikawa along with him.<br/>
“What time is it?” Oikawa rubbed his eyes as they began slowly walking back into the direction of his apartment.<br/>
“Five thirty.”<br/>
“Didn’t realize we’d fall asleep.” Oikawa laughed.<br/>
“Yea I guess so.” Iwa smiled. Letting his hand brush against Oikawa’s until they walked down the street holding hands with the light of the peering sun illuminating them. </p><p>
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</p><p>	They walked back to Oikawa’s apartment, hand in hand. The comfort was relieving, and his tears had dried leaving light marks against his cheeks.<br/>
“Suga around?” Iwa asked, walking in and inspecting the area like some sort of detective. Trying to find any evidence of someone being around, anyone or anything that could interfere. It was six in the morning after all.<br/>
“No, no I think he’s at Daichi’s.” Oikawa responded, laying his hands in front of his chest.<br/>
“Good.” Iwa confirmed, suddenly stopping in his walking pace in the centre area between the kitchen and living room.<br/>
“Good?” He said it as if Suga being around was a total bother to him. On nights like last night, Oikawa would have to agree. Just for that small brief moment in time. Other than that he owed a lot to Suga for being his closest friend through their many years together.<br/>
“No, i mean- he’s a good guy.” he stuttered, trying to reconvene his thoughts and put them into words. “I don’t have anything against him. I just may have yelled at him yesterday” Iwa finally came to a concluded sentence out of all the ruckus he made.<br/>
“Oh.” was all Oikawa could say. He didn’t know Iwa had stopped by to check on him.<br/>
“I’m gonna stay.” Iwa confirmed, wanting to watch over OIkawa for a bit.<br/>
“No it’s fine. Just go home.” Oikawa exhaled. He wasn’t in the mood for a fight, and he certainly wanted to be alone. Even if being alone was one of his most hated feelings in the world.<br/>
“I’m staying.” Iwa argued back.<br/>
“Just go. Please?”<br/>
“You’ll be fine?”<br/>
“Of course.”<br/>
“I’m calling you when I get home.”<br/>
“Aw Iwa-chan is checking on me.” Oikawa regained his smile.<br/>
“Bye.” Iwa waved, walking away.<br/>
“Goodbye Iwa.” Even though Suga wasn’t around, Oikawa could still feel him pushing him out the door to chase after Iwa. But this time, he would get to see him before he left.<br/>
“IWA'' OIkawa yelled, running down the narrow hallway of the building. Iwa stopped at the sound of his voice, turning around to face him in utter confusion. “Iwa. You, you forgot something.” Oikawa panted frantically.<br/>
“Huh? Oh what?”<br/>
“Um.” he began fumbling through his pockets, something to give him. “These.” He shoved the object into his hands, unsure himself of what it was.<br/>
“A receipt?” Iwa questioned, flipping the small piece of paper over.<br/>
“Uh- yea that’s right.” Oikawa nervously scratched the back of his head, slightly embarrassed. He should thank him. For what he had done, or he should apologize. He should say something. The thoughts clouded his view, leaving him daunted and unsure.<br/>
“Well bye then.”<br/>
“Yea.” Oikawa murmured quietly disappointed.<br/>
“Oh and one thing I almost forgot.” Oikawa looked up in hopes, as he was met with the crushing presence of Iwa’s lips across his own.</p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ok please, i know i didn't touch on Oikawa crying, that's later chapter stuff :) don't worry I didn't forget</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Side Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HEY!! ok so I apologize, today is very short chapter, keeping it short and sweet over here. The second side chapter, one of mY fAVs. I had lot's of fun writing this SO. I hope you enjoy!! Have fun!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was easy to hide soulmate marks. It was easy to lie. Of course it was, everyone respected that it was a private matter. As for Matsu and Makki, everyone assumed they were just the closest of friends, and they were. They were for the longest while, a friendship that could never be broken. But they kept a secret from the world.<br/>
When they arrived at their sixteenth birthdays, they undoubtedly knew who it was by the first look of the writing. They had been friends all this time, it made perfect sense to recognize it immediately.<br/>
As it would have it, Makki’s birthday came first. He lived in secrecy alone for a few months. It was odd really. He didn’t want to ruin anything between him and Mattsun, but of course it wouldn't, they were soulmates. Though he figured he wouldn’t take the special day away from Mattsun, and let him figure it out when he would receive his mark.<br/>
He did however drop various hints. Not at them being soulmates, however hints for himself. It was a revelation of how important he was in his life. How valuable he was to him. How much they truly fit, and the best part of it was, they could act as they did before. They could act like the closest of friends, and let the idea of soulmates wash over them.<br/>
Makki waited for Mattsun to contact him as soon as the clock struck twelve. He waited anxiously, nervous, waiting, waiting, waiting. Yet, nothing came. Not an inkling of communication, until the very next day when they would see each other at school.<br/>
He would never forget it. </p><p>	“Happy birthday” Makki chimed, slinging his arm around Mattsun’s shoulders. “So what’s it say?” It was simple, casual, words slipping through his mouth like every conversation they had. Like everyday for the past sixteen years. Quips and jokes, smiles and grins. A world revolving around the two of them.<br/>
“What’s yours say?” Mattsun countered, but before Makki could reply with the same response he always said. The same one he said for the past couple months i love you, it was easy, it was what everyone said, and most importantly it was completely plausible. “What does yours really say?” He raised his brow, he didn’t seem mad at all. He was more curious, than upset, more intrigued than irritated. Mattsun was Mattsun, the way he always was.<br/>
They turned into one of the empty science classrooms in the hall, closing the door behind them to continue their conversation.<br/>
Makki lifted up his shirt to reveal the words scrawled just below his ribcage on his right side. He shied away, looking away but feeling the intense glare or Mattsun’s curious eyes inspecting the mark.<br/>
Tell me that I’ll see you again<br/>
Mattsun’s writing was scruffy, and somewhat precise, it had him written all over it. Like many others, the idea of carrying a piece of their soulmate with him, warmed Makki’s heart.<br/>
In return, Mattsun rolled up the sleeve to his hoodie, showing his own mark written across his forearm. It was a clear area, it wouldn’t be easy to hide. Though, he had no reason to unlike Makki had.<br/>
Just kiss me once more<br/>
The writing was round, loopy and simultaneously a mess in Makki’s opinion. But everyone thought their own writing was hideous, and he couldn’t help but wonder what Mattsun thought when he looked at it.<br/>
“What do you figure?” Makki mused. Sure it drove him nuts, but it was Mattsun. There was no need to worry insanely. He just hoped in some ways he felt the same, or at least one day feel the same.<br/>
“I figure, for the first time, I’ll kiss you, kiss you.” He insisted with a wicked grin on his face. Makki couldn’t tell if he was flirting, or if it was one of their typical jokes.<br/>
“Stop.” Makki said, looking away to shield the redness in his cheeks. Once regaining the slightest bit of composure, he turned back around pointing a finger, “Say you’re kidding or you actually have to kiss me.” He dared, mirroring Mattsun’s smirk. He slowly began to countdown, “Five.” Mattsun looked into a corner, seemingly contemplating the idea. “Four.” He tilted his head looking into the other corner, pursing his lips together to hum out a small whistle. “Three.” Makki’s voice growing shaky with a combined mixture of nervousness and anticipation. “Two.” Finally, Mattsun looked directly into Makki’s eyes, and swiftly leaned in for a kiss.<br/>
Neither knew exactly how to describe it. It was strange if anything, and yet… nice and warm. Familiar and yet bizarre. Carious things of contrasting emotions, each conflicting with the other, that there simply was no way to describe it whatsoever.<br/>
They closed their eyes, hands finding one another’s and grabbing it tightly. They felt the smiles between the small, desperate kisses. The realizations and revelations that they had each been with their soulmate all along, and they were certain neither would ever let go. </p><p>	Sitting in their apartment lounging against the sofa, legs intertwined sitting on opposite ends as they always did when no one else was around. After all, no one needed to know. It was a private matter between the two of them, and frankly they didn’t need or particularly want anyone saying things about them. They were the best of friends by chance and soulmates by fate. They didn’t need everyone else to stamp the label on them like the world already did. It was their little secret, and it made their lives a whole lot more fun.<br/>
“What do you figure Iwa and Oikawa are doing right now?” Mattsun asked, looking up from his computer screen in thought. Iwa had disappeared for twenty four hours, it was only right to question his whereabouts. Which was undoubtedly with Oikawa, doing all sorts of odd things.<br/>
It completely amazed the both of them when Iwa began seeing Oikawa. They knew parts of what he had gone through at home, giving the fact they knew him all throughout their childhood years. Neither knew the exact or finer details, Iwa avoided the conversation all together, even when they would check up on him. They only heard bits and pieces from when he couldn’t get a lift to school or a ride home. Or when he didn’t have a lunch, or the bags under his eyes sagged from getting no sleep. Sometimes it was because his father was out drinking, or spending his nights out late, or his mother decided to leave the house to get some space for a few days or even a few weeks. They knew he went through hell in his own house, and they knew it was exactly why the boy had no faith in the touchy subject of love.<br/>
When they found out Iwa had agreed to date Oikawa for a month they were beyond happy for him, praying it would work. Praying that Oikawa would be the one to heal his damaged and broken mind. They didn’t know if it would work well, but given the amount of time Iwa had been spending with him, they knew their prayers had been answered.<br/>
Makki, who was also typing away on his laptop to finish their outstanding assignments met his eyes. “Something dirty.” He said with the straightest face, sending Mattsun into a wild roar of laughter, quickly followed by Makki’s own laughs.<br/>
“You’re silly.” Mattsun rolled his eyes and shook his head.<br/>
“Kiss me, kiss me.” Makki set down his laptop, climbing over to straddle Mattsun’s hips, puckering up for a kiss.<br/>
Mattsun’s smile lasted ages, stooping down to set his lips upon Makki’s in a quick show of affection. For as long as they would live, they wouldn’t spare a second for the opportunity of a kiss, because they would never know when the last one would come.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading!! Lemme know your thoughts in the comments! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HEY - so new chapter tings - I like this chapter - but maybe i'm being biased or whateva. Let's just say, this chpater hurt me a bit. Just a tad, you'll be fine, I'm fine, we're all fine. </p><p>Please enjoy!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They were kissing. Surprising as it was, Oikawa didn’t even initiate it. It was Iwa. He had never expected it, he truly thought Iwa was completely unphased half the time they spent together. But this was proof they were more than just two people who happened by one another.<br/>
Although it was sudden, there was a slight hover of Iwa’s lips before they gently pressed against his own. It fed the spark they were living off of. Now, a fire was lit, and it was burning brighter than they’d ever imagine.<br/>
It was nothing grand. Simply one small kiss. But it felt like an eternity. It felt like the world shone just the smallest bit brighter. The warmth of the sun sprung through his body, reverberating from every corner. His mind was free from worry, from all thought. Instead it pictured everything he felt.<br/>
He saw a beach, the soft grainy sand, and the clear water beyond it. It sang a song as harmonious as the waves crashing in the sea. The sweet melody of the seagulls soaring in the sky. The rhythm of his footsteps against the sand from under him. The beat of their synchronized hearts. It was a chorus of uplift, and revelations.<br/>
But then again, it was just a kiss.<br/>
Pulling apart from one another, the awkwardness settled in. The hesitance to say something, or to ask for more. The longing of Iwa’s lips on his once more. To feel everything he felt once more. It was a drug, so addicting, so strong, leaving Oikawa’s own lips in a quiver of desperation.<br/>
“So, can I stay now?” Iwa asked with a smile, earning a small chuckle from Oikawa in return. Some people would say the best medicine was laughter. In the moment, and the says he spent with Iwa, and the days that would come, Oikawa felt the only medicine he would ever need would be having Iwa by his side. It sounded ridiculous, love sick. He was becoming more and more consumed by this boy, it started to feel unreal.<br/>
It felt like he was living the fairytale he always imagined it to be. The one stored away because he “grew up” and realized it wasn’t realistic. The once he tossed into the bin after realizing love wasn't always perfect, given the words scrawled into his finger. Oikawa silently prayed to himself that he was living a reality, and if he wasn’t, that he would never wake up from such a wonderful dream.<br/>
“Oh Iwa, did you plan this so you could stay?” He recalled Iwa continuously stating he was staying moments beforehand. Oikawa knew it was because he wanted to watch over him after the mistaken show he put on last night by showing up at his door with tears in his eyes. He pondered for a while whether he actually needed help at the very moment, or wanted attention and decided to not clean up.<br/>
He was always one for the spotlight. But when it came to his personal feelings, he buried them deep inside. Another part of himself just waiting to be unraveled.<br/>
He hadn’t cried in a while. Oikawa often had spurts of insane crying or simply nothing at all. It was either he felt everything crashing down on him and he needed to let it all go, or he acknowledged his problems and showed no particular feeling towards it. He tried desperately not to show the mess of himself, for it would tarnish his image. No one needed to see the weak, or vulnerable side of him.<br/>
He had never let down his guard. He had never taken off the mask he wore, drawn with a great big smile in front of anyone, except for Iwa. Perhaps it was because he was his soulmate, and he felt an obligation to show Iwa everything. In this case however, it was as though he didn’t need to worry what Iwa thought, or what Iwa saw, because Oikawa felt understood around him. That was everything that mattered.<br/>
“Is that a yes.” Iwa flushed, ignoring the question. Upon their first few encounters, Oikawa was quick to realize Iwa despised all sorts of flirtatious interactions. Or more specifically the type of flirting exhibited by Oikawa himself. Iwa’s way to win people over was certainly a very different tactic.<br/>
Tended with calmed aggression, to the point, and as if he didn’t care as much. It reminded OIkawa of the boys in elementary school, chasing after girls and tugging at their hair to get their attention. Iwa was the matured version of the stereotypical crushing elementary schoolboy, and it made him feel young and alive.<br/>
“Always for you.” Oikawa smiled, taking Iwa by the hand as he dragged his arm from behind him, heading back into the apartment through the scenic hall.<br/>
It wasn’t long before they were lounging on the sofa, covered in multiple blankets and surrounded by snacks. Oikawa was scrunched up in a ball, legs tucked beneath him, and Iwa laying back against one of the arms, legs extended. Countless throw pillows were stuffed between them as a means of comfort, and the few bowls of popcorn, chips and pretzels lay upon their laps or surrounded the sofa on the floor.<br/>
It conjured up ideas of a relaxed domestic life. Filling Oikawa's head with scenarios he could dream on forever. Coming home to Iwa on a friday night, tiresome and drowsy. They would lounge upon the couch just as they were doing just now, order some takeout, and watch a line up of movies. Iwa would ask him about his day, and Oikawa would give the same old description, quipped with snippets of gossip he heard from work. He would find himself ranting on about something ridiculous, and Iwa would laugh, and rant alongside him. Oikawa would then ask Iwa of his own day, and being the man of very few words, he would say it was good, and sometimes he would add his own reportable news on his colleagues. They would forget about the movie, only tuning back in at the good parts, and then agreeing to watch it later to actually pay attention which they never would, because of their endless conversations. He dreamed and dreamed, and decided it would come true.<br/>
They sat watching movies all day, getting up only to get more drinks, snacks or to use the washroom. Each and every time changing their position on the sofa. Eventually, Oikawa had his head rested on Iwa’s stomach, and his arms wrapped around him. The warmth of him next to him, combined with the soft laughter, teasing and ridiculous smiles, Oikawa felt like he had found his home.<br/>
The sixth movie they watched finally ended. The credits rolling and the iconic Hedwig’s theme filled the room with the same whimsical tune. It was a very rapid decision when the first sat down to watch the movie, but given almost everyone loved the Harry Potter series, it was practically a no brainer. In addition, eight whole movies meant many, many hours to spend with one another.<br/>
The best part for Oikawa was realizing how much of a potterhead Iwa was. At first Oikawa figured, Iwa had never watched it or vaguely remembered the movies and partially appreciated it. What he didn’t know was how obsessed he was. It wasn't evident at first, like all things Iwa was. He seemed very laid back on the idea, and agreed as though it were any old movie. But as soon as the Dumbledore spoke the first words in the movie, Iwa was mouthing the script the entire time. Unknowingly saying them aloud as well, spiking up chortles of laughter and lots and lots of fanning over the topic.<br/>
Between admiring the actors, exchanging houses, casting spells, and even trashing the author themselves, time flew with the carefree presence they found in one another.<br/>
“I should get going then, I’ve been here all day.” Iwa said, using his arms to get up from the sofa. Still in his sprawled position, Oikawa immediately fished for his phone to check the time. It wasn’t all too late, except for as Iwa pointed out, they had spent nearly the past twenty four hours together.<br/>
But he didn’t want it to end.<br/>
“Wait,” Oikawa stopped Iwa, rushing over to meet him in his path. He had only just put on his jean jacket, nearly ready to head out again.<br/>
“Yes?” His brow lifted in question, bending down to tie his laces. Oikawa’s cheeks suddenly flushed red, as his eyes unintentionally darted to the bend in Iwa’s stance.<br/>
“Do you…” He recomposed himself, clearing his throat and continued with what he was thinking. “Do you wanna stay the night?” Given the stricken look on Iwa’s face, Oikawa panicked suddenly. “We don’t have to do anything, we can just hang out? Have a sleepover almost. Besides we still have two movies left.” Oikawa suggested. Though he tried to make it less awkward, it seemed as though he made it more awkward. They weren’t middle school boys asking their mother’s if they could have a sleepover on a school night. They were grown men… perhaps matured boys fitted better.<br/>
“Oh my god Shitty-kawa. You just-” Iwa pinched the bridge of his nose, squinting his eyes as if trying to regain some sort of sense after listening to Oikawa ramble on about their suggestive sleepover. “Yes, yes I will stay the night.” Iwa sighed heavily, taking off the coat he had just put on, and unlacing his shoes.<br/>
Oikawa couldn’t wipe the growing smile off his face, nor the giddy laughter of excitement. He felt like a teenage boy sick with love, and he couldn’t help but love it.<br/>
“One problem.” Iwa began, following Oikawa back to their places on the sofa. “I don't have a change of clothes.” Oikawa had practically forgotten that even though they had in fact spent the last day together, neither of them changed out of their clothes from before, or even washed up in the slightest.<br/>
“Right.” Oikawa agreed. “How about, you use my clothes. But we change after the movies?” Completely disregarding their personal hygiene. All Oikawa wanted to do was continue their joyous conversations in front of the tv, and washing up almost felt like it would ruin the flow.<br/>
Iwa returned the idea with a confused and delirious look. “Pretty please?” Oikawa batted his eyelashes, feeling absolutely ridiculous but couldn’t care any less.<br/>
“Fine.” Iwa rolled his eyes sarcastically, pulling Oikawa back into his arms, and letting the movie play for the rest of their evening. </p><p>	Partway through Deathly Hallows Part Two, Suga came home after spending his own past twenty four hours with Daichi. Though at first hesitant to bother them, he ended up watching the rest of the movie with them, and despite that he knew exactly how it ended, he yelled at the screen and enchanted spells chaotically like he was in the film himself. Only adding more to the laughter and the light conversations.<br/>
Once the movie was over, the boys followed through with what they agreed upon, finally cleaning up and changing out of their dirty clothes. Already dressed and ready for bed, after spending far too much time (though he did hurry up in worries Iwa might judge him for his perfected routine) in the washroom, Oikawa lay on his bed waiting for Iwa.<br/>
“Are you wearing my shirt?” Oikawa smiled, as Iwa came through the door. He was wearing a black and white checkered pair of pyjama pants and a plain turquoise shirt. The shirt fitted him well, considering it was an old one Oikawa used to wear in highschool. As for the pants, they seemed to pile just above his feet, being far too long for him.<br/>
Of course Oikawa lended him his own clothes so it wasn’t any surprise to see Iwa in his shirt. But something about asking the obvious to get some attention on the subject was truly encapsulating.<br/>
“Maybe.” Iwa didn't dare to look up, but Oikawa could see the slight grin forming on his face.<br/>
“Good. I like it.” Oikawa laughed. Iwa plopped down onto the bed next to him, stretching his one arm out to the side to wrap around Oikawa as he lay his head on Iwa’s shoulder, fitting perfectly in the crook of his neck. Almost as though it was designed to be there.<br/>
Oikawa snuggled up against him, dying to feel his warmth against him, but then was suddenly reminded of the fact they weren’t under the covers.<br/>
He began to tug the sheets, slipping his feet under them until he was fully in bed. On the other hand, Iwa seemed to be panicked. Though they were cuddling for the majority of the day with blankets covering them, the idea of doing it in a bed was very much different. Something Oikawa had only realized after seeing Iwa’s stunned look.<br/>
“Oh uh,” Oikawa began, unsure of what he was going to say, but figured saying something could release the tension in the air.<br/>
“No it’s okay.” Iwa offered a smile as he himself climbed under the sheets, though Oikawa could see just how uncomfortable he was. Maybe he was pushing this thing a little two far, he thought, and slowly the insecurities began to rush in.<br/>
Meanwhile, Iwa awkwardly not knowing what to do with his hands, and found them traveling to Oikawa’s head to stroke his luscious hair. To comply, Oikawa moved his head to rest upon Iwa’s chest, feeling the rise and fall with every breath.<br/>
He closed his eyes, calming himself with the warm touch of Iwa’s hands on his head. As he did physically, he let his thoughts bundle against the heat of Iwa’s body, filling them with relief and relaxation. Butterflies flying through every part of his mind, and every inch of his body.<br/>
“Your hair is soft.” Iwa thought to himself, not realizing he had said it aloud.<br/>
“My hair is impeccable.” Oikawa grinned, showering himself with compliments. Opening his eyes, he looked back up to Iwa, his brow furrowed and pointing a finger. “Don’t ruin it.”<br/>
“Oh- uh sorry.” Iwa croaked unsure of why it was such a great problem. His hands were floating just above Oikawa’s head, not exactly knowing what to do now that Oikawa instructed them t
o be put away.<br/>
“Silly Iwa-chan, it’s just a joke.” Oikawa reached over for one of Iwa’s hands, bringing it up to his head. “I like it. It’s soothing.” Iwa continued to stroke Oikawa’s hair once again, as they lay in calmed silence, before the burning thought in both of their minds came out of Iwa’s mouth.<br/>
“You never told me what happened.” Iwa declared. His voice was soft, but the thoughts behind it were stiffened with worry.<br/>
“I’m sorry?” Oikawa chuckled nervously, obviously knowing what the topic was, but casually avoiding it. He knew the question would come up, but he didn't want to talk about it now. He wanted to leave that behind him, he wanted to keep the remainder of his wall up just a little while longer. Until he knew there was no chance of Iwa leaving him. Anything to prevent himself from getting hurt more than he already was.<br/>
“When you showed up at my door. You were crying just before.” The facts he stated were undeniably true, making it harder for Oikawa to stray from the truth.<br/>
“No I wasn’t. It was my… how should I say this… gathered up anxiety to knock on your door.” He flashed the smile that could so easily fool many people. He used it all the time, his safeguard. To show everyone that everything was alright, despite how much pain he was in. It was easy to cover with a smile.<br/>
Iwa could see straight through the painted lie.<br/>
“I went to your house, Suga didn’t even know where you were. Even he seemed worried. You just disappeared. Did you check any of my texts, my calls, my voice messages?” Iwa’s voice grew aggravated.<br/>
“It was nothing, really. I just wasn’t on my phone.” Oikawa shook it off like it was nothing, even though it clearly wasn’t. His smile began to falter as the truth began to slowly unveil.<br/>
“Stop.” Iwa grunted, forcefully getting up, making Oikawa move away from him, intending for him to face him directly. “Tell me. What happened.” Oikawa however, turned his body the other way, facing the wall, acting as though Iwa hadn’t said a word. And so, he turned him over of course only to see the tears streaming down his face.<br/>
“What happened?” It wasn’t soft, it was accusatory. As though whatever was making him cry, Iwa was going to hunt down and kill.<br/>
Minutes past as Oikawa continued to let out small sobs, trying to gather up something to say. Eventually, flipping over onto his back, he merely stared towards the blank ceiling, as the glistening tears began to gather in his eyes. The quiver of his smile, and the twitches of his nose.<br/>
“I’m not enough.” Oikawa whispered weakly.<br/>
“Sorry?” Iwa asked in clarification, unsure of what he said.<br/>
“I’m not enough.” He turned once more, digging his face into Iwa’s chest to muffle the sound. He’d never done this before. No one had seen him cry. He was too insecure for that. He had an expectation to live up to, and never dropped his guard around anyone.<br/>
“Oikawa,” Iwa’s voice came in as reassurement, pushing him off to get a look at his face. “What’s wrong.”<br/>
Oikawa looked away for a couple seconds. Eyes darting between the corners of the room, not wanting to share. But the weight of the world on his shoulders was getting too heavy. He just wanted the pain to wash away. He wanted to let go.<br/>
“I’m not enough.” Oikawa swallowed down his cries, a great big lump trapped in his throat.<br/>
“Enough for what?” Iwa pressed on, frustrated, and yet simultaneously trying to be understanding.<br/>
“Enough for anyone.” He sniffled softly. “I- I try. I really try. But everything? Everything I do? It’s never enough. It’s never enough.” His cries were muffled, continuing to cry softly into Iwa’s chest. “I’m not enough.”<br/>
It was never a particular thing that plunged him into his thoughts. It could be the slightest thing, forgetting to accomplish the simplest of tasks. It could be lying in bed and having midnight thoughts. No matter what, thinking was dangerous, and he did it all the time. So just as they always did, the memories began to play over and over again.<br/>
How in his youth, he couldn’t sustain a small number of friends. He wasn’t good enough.<br/>
How his grades were the top of his class, but he couldn’t get into the top highschool like he and his parents wanted. He wasn’t good enough.<br/>
How he tried various sports trying to find one that fit. He wasn’t good enough.<br/>
When he fell in love with volleyball, but was stuck at a level and the daunting challenges that overpowered him. He wasn’t good enough.<br/>
When he received his soulmate mark, and the words inscribed were <em> People like you don’t deserve love <em>, and he truly believed it. He wasn’t good enough.<br/>
When his own talent was overlooked by everyone who was significantly better than him, in absolutely everything he did. He wasn’t good enough.<br/>
When he felt out of place, though no one else sensed it and he just kept smiling like everything was alright. He wasn’t good enough.<br/>
When he felt everything slip away, his whole life, everything he stood for, the person he was, from his fingertips. He wasn’t good enough.<br/>
When he finally met his soulmate, but was met with a cold glare and unknown hatred. He wasn’t good enough.<br/>
When he felt at place with his soulmate, but the threat of him leaving after a month was lingering over his head. 

 What if he wasn’t good enough?<br/>
Iwa hadn’t known half of what Oikawa had gone through, but he felt the slightest bit of guilt thinking he was contributing to Oikawa’s feelings of never being good enough. He didn’t bother to continue asking why. Iwa knew there were boundaries, like he had of his own. He knew when to stop asking, he knew when he reached the line, and he wasn’t about to cross it. Who knew what dangers would come then?<br/>
Maybe one day the truth would unravel, or maybe it wouldn’t. The most Iwa could do in that moment was hold him tighter against his chest, kissing the top of his head and whisper to him softly.<br/>
“You’re the stars, remember? You’re more than enough.”<br/>
Oikawa only continued to cry, feeling comfort in Iwa’s arms, whilst Iwa continued to stroke his hair, humming a soft song to whisk him away to sleep.</em></em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Once again, thank you SO MUCH for reading, comment if you have any input, it is extremely appreciated. </p><p>SIDE NOTE:</p><p>as for the song Iwa hums to Oikawa as he falls alseep crying in his arms, I think of it as Ultimately by khai dreams, because it fits the situation and the sift tune of the song just makes it better. I may or may not listen to this song before bed. ANYWAYS, hope you enjoyed!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey hey hey! new chapter - er have fun ig??? I had a heavy debate with myself whether I should bring an emotionally lighter chapter in after the last chapter, but we already entered the heavy emotion centre so things are gonna be a ride from here. Anyways happy reading!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next few days were calm and relaxed. Nothing eventful occurred, other than a few coffee dates, and hanging around one another’s apartment. NOthing overly special, it seemed they reached the normal point in their relationship. Where things could become habitual, and almost like a reflex.<br/>
However, Oikawa couldn’t deny that something was missing. Though it was something he could worry about at a later date.<br/>
He had just awoken from his sleep, dazily scrolling through his phone as he lay in bed. He woke up pretty late, though didn’t care very much as it was the weekend, and had plenty of time to himself.<br/>
In his haze of his morning habits, Oikawa heard the door from across the hall open. Simply the sound of it made him realize he hadn’t seen very much of Suga for the past few weeks.<br/>
“SUGAAA.” Oikawa yelled for him, squirming on his bed to gesture the commotion.<br/>
“OIKAWAAA” He came springing into the room, stopping in a fighting stance. He was always the same chaotic and caring friend he loved. “Who are we fighting?” He demanded, darting his head between corners of the room, scanning for any obscure items. His hands out in front of him, ready to attack anyone who dared to cross him.<br/>
“Our busy fucking schedules!” Oikawa yelled sarcastically. Suga screamed out his battle cry at the top of his lungs, sprinting towards Oikawa, jumping in the air and landing flat on his stomach right onto the bed next to him.<br/>
The two boys took a few minutes to chuck up their laughter. It was moments like these he missed, and Oikawa felt that even though he found his soulmate, his first soulmate would always be Suga.<br/>
Of course Oikawa believed in soulmates. He believed every person would come across the person who fit them the most. It was preached in their society after all, given their soulmate identifying marks. Periodically, he would alter his thoughts, and quite normally find it to be some sort of fantasy in his head. Until he met Iwa the fairytale came to life.<br/>
The other thing was, he believed everyone had more than one soulmate. There was more than one person who would bring out the best in you. They brought out the different parts, shined a light on things other people wouldn’t. It never had to be a twin soul who was dangerously in love with the other. They could simply love each other. They could be the best of friends, or a shadowy presence watching over them. He believed everyone went through multiple soulmates, but of course they never lasted forever.<br/>
As for Suga, he was the person Oikawa ever felt like he belonged around, and through their years together, he would pay so much to have it last a lifetime.<br/>
“We really haven’t been spending a lot of time together haven’t we?” Suga mused, his smile and laugh lingering beneath his words. If it were one thing he could count for, Suga almost always had a smile. It was one of the most heartwarming, and safest places Oikawa had ever felt.<br/>
“No we really haven’t.” Oikawa agreed. “Other than mornings in the kitchen, evenings in the kitchen, essentially any meal.” They were both always out and about, off to school, going out with others. The only real time they had to themselves, was lounging on the couch, watching whatever show they were watching, and eating their food. It wasn’t even as though much conversation was bred during this time, other than the spurs of the show, and very minor conundrums occurring through their days.<br/>
“That’s because you’ve been spending so much time with Iwaizumi.” Suga laughed, teasingling nudging Oikawa’s shoulder.<br/>
“And who’s to say about you and Daichi?” Oikawa nagged, imitating Suga’s small shove.<br/>
“That’s old news.” Suga waved off. “I wanna hear what’s up with the two of you.” Suga giddily got up to sit, crossing his legs and hugging a pillow. In preparation for Oikawa’s major headlines.<br/>
“Old news?? I swear that boy is completely in love, he'll propose to you soon enough.” Oikawa encouraged. They both knew the high chances of it occurring, given the way they had been together just over two years, and the fact they were soulmates.<br/>
In addition, Oikawa knew much more than Suga did. Afterall, there are perks to being the love interests roommate.<br/>
“Hopefully.” Suga daydreamed a few seconds before jumping back into reality and demanding his questions. “Anyways, you and Iwa, spill now.”<br/>
“I don’t know. We’re dating?” Oikawa didn’t even know what they were. All he knew was he had a month to convince Iwa that they could be together. He couldn’t exactly call it dating, it was more forced than two people who liked each other willing to see each other. He gave the topic lots of thought, but only ever came up to the conclusion that he truly didn’t really know.<br/>
“HE SLEPT OVER,” Suga pointed out the obvious, when Iwa had stayed over a few nights ago. “THERE HAS TO BE MORE.”<br/>
“All right all right.” Gesturing his hands to calm Suga down, he began to explain.“Yea he slept over, we didn’t do anything though. The most we did was kiss.” He played it off like nothing, because he had had a thousand kisses in his lifetime. Kissing countless girls like it were nothing, but this kiss with Iwa? This was something.<br/>
Hugging the pillow and squinting his eyes in reaction to the overload of ship material. (Even though of course Suga had been shipping since day one) “Aw that’s so sweet!”<br/>
“I don’t know.” Oikawa looked down, his smile fading.<br/>
“What do you mean you don't know Oikawa? He's your soulmate.” Suga echoed, putting down the pillow in his hands, sensing the seriousness of the conversation.<br/>
“I think...He keeps trying to shut me out.” Putting his hands through his hair, gripping it tightly, before letting go, “I don’t think he’ll stay.”<br/>
“Whatever do you mean.” Suga asked softly, laying his hand on Oikawa’s shoulder, eager to know what was bothering his lonesome friend.<br/>
So he told him everything.<br/>
He didn;t leave a detail out. All from their very first encounter, to the deal they made, to their nights under the stars. To the way he made him feel around him, how his smile lit of his world. How he was the moon in his world.<br/>
Suga patiently listened, nodding for Oikawa to continue on, never interrupting. He had always been a good listener.<br/>
Once he was done, they sat in silence for a few seconds as Suga recollected his advice. Breaking the silence with an accusatory howl.<br/>
“AND YOU THOUGHT TO NOT TELL ME THIS. I actually can’t believe you. You know you can tell me anything, That’s why I’m here. I’m here for you and you need to remember that ok?”<br/>
“Yea, I know.” Oikawa resounded.<br/>
“Well obviously you didn’t because you haven’t told me until now.” Suga snapped. Carefully taking a deep breath to calm himself down. “Look, I just want to make sure you’re okay.”<br/>
Through the time Suga has known Oikawa, he would worry about him constantly. He looked after him, day after day, checking to ensure he wasn’t on the verge of self destruction. Before, he would admit he used to be pushy, pestering Oikawa to speak up about his feelings. But over time he learned to take a step back. He knew Oikawa would come to him when he was ready to share anything that needed to be shared. It however didn’t stop him from worrying.<br/>
“Anyways what are you doing tonight?” Oikawa asked, desperately wanting to spend time with Suga, and spend time together like the good old days. When they were younger, free spirited and nothing was holding them back.<br/>
They could go to parties every night, only to have an aching hangover the next day. They could flirt endlessly, hooking up with whomever they wanted. Or that was Oikawa at least. Suga was certainly more tamed, taking on relationships and small flings.<br/>
The days before they had to commit themselves fully to another person, were the days they were missing the most.<br/>
“Nothing. Cleared my schedule up.” Suga exulted, proud of his newfound free time.<br/>
“Hang like we used to?” Oikawa offered.<br/>
“Always.”<br/>
“What party?”<br/>
“Who’s party?”<br/>
“Any party.”<br/>
“A club?”<br/>
“Definitely.<br/>
A minute later, their straight faces turned to wicked grins, eyeing each other knowing full well of the fun they would both experience later on that night. </p><p>	The underground club was booming with music as they passed through the red wooden door. Neon lights flickering from every corner of the grand floor of the club, vivacious colours and high lifted spirits radiated from every person. Even if the majority of the people spending their evening at the club were only energized by the various drugs and countless drinks offered at the bar in the centre of it all.<br/>
“Are you sure this place is legal?” Suga looked towards Oikawa with a humorous smirk.<br/>
“Suga, when have I ever taken you to an illegal club?” Oikawa huffed out a laugh before proceeding directly into the centre of the club. His figure was outlined in his loose black blouse with a neckline far enough to reveal part of his chest, partnered with his black trousers, and his precisely picke out gold accessories. The soft gold chain, and various necklaces perfectly matched the numerous chunky rings lining his delicate fingers.<br/>
Of course they had planned to match in some way. Instead of the black blouse, and gold accessories, Suga preferred a white one decorated with silver jewelry. They both brought forth their dinstic traits simply through their choice in clothing, forever being sights to behold.<br/>
“This is definitely illegal.” Suga confirmed with a nod, but didn’t hesitate to let out a nervous chuckle at the sight of it all. He had been to many clubs with Oikawa before, and it wasn’t as though they were perfect angels who consistently obeyed the law. But the idea of committing some sort of crime, even though he wasn’t precisely sure he was, always sent shivers down his body filled with hysterical excitement.<br/>
“Sweetie, the only thing illegal in this shady club, is me for looking illegally hot.” Oikawa grinned, deviltry hidden beneath his tone.<br/>
“Oh! I see the lively and courageous Oikawa has come out of his shell once again, and we haven’t even had a sip of alcohol.”<br/>
“Please, Suga. You know how absolutely gorgeous I look.” Oikawa flashed a smile. The daring boy he was, he began to strut up to the bar, picking up a glass of champagne to kick off the night before heading into the deep crowds of people, in search for some form of entertainment.<br/>
Handing an identical glass to Suga, he raised it up to salute their night of fun. “To the old days.”<br/>
“To the old days” Suga raised his arm in agreement, taking a sip from the glass. The pristine bubbles coating his tongue, exploding in rich, fruity flavours. “We come back here, once the month is over and we cheers to our relationships. Deal?”<br/>
“And if not?”<br/>
“Shut it Oikawa, he loves you, now CHEERS”<br/>
“Suga we already cheered.” Oikawa rebutted.<br/>
“Hey you.” Suga turned around from the edge of the bar they were leaning on, pointing at the poor bartender who seemed oddly confused by Suga’s sudden yelling. “Get me ten tequila shots, please and thank you!” His politeness completely contradicted the intense volume of his voice. Oikawa couldn’t determine whether it was to overcome the loud music, or if he was overly excited.<br/>
Once the frightened man came back with the tray of shots, laying it down on the counter. They each picked up a glass, ready to cheers once again.<br/>
“Do we have a deal?” Suga proposed the idea once again. It was clear he wasn’t going to let go until Oikawa agreed to the terms.<br/>
“Fine, we have a deal.” Oikawa rolled his eyes acting as if it were a total droll. But they both knew it lit the passion under his heart. He was going to make Iwa stay.<br/>
“Cheers Oikawa” Suga smiled wide, shooting down the drink.<br/>
“Cheers.” Oikawa repeated, doing the same. </p><p>	Iwaizumi was sitting on the floor of his kitchen, thinking he could ramble up some thoughts in a new environment, as he scoundressly attempted to write out his essay. He didn’t have very much luck with his writing, or any sort of necessary skill. He was trying his best to grip onto the passing grade. It was his only concern.<br/>
After a few hours of work, and not even getting through his work, he began to look for some sort of distraction. With just the right timing his phone started to ring. He picked it up ever so rapidly, only the smallest bit disappointed that it wasn’t Oikawa and it was Daichi instead.<br/>
“Hello?” He answered. On the other side, he could hear booming club music, and the sounds of people shuffling and dancing, and screaming and partying. This had to be good.<br/>
“Suga and OIkawa are out, and they're drunk.” Daichi stated blunty, seemingly exhausted through the roughness in his throat.<br/>
“Um, and you're calling me because?” Iwa took the hand to his ear, pressing it in with his shoulder as he began to put on a coat and some shoes, knowing well enough Daichi was in need of help.<br/>
“Dealing with a drunk Oikawa is a handful, and normally Suga’s job.”<br/>
“Oh so Suga is the mom friend who never drinks.” Iwa clarified, turning around to pick up his keys.<br/>
“No, actually he holds his liquor extremely well, so I take it they have done some extremely heavy drinking.” Daichi emphasized.<br/>
“So you can’t do it alone?” Iwa said, although he was already one foot out the door on his way. There was no way he was going to let a drunk Oikawa out of his sight, or out of his camera’s sight.<br/>
It was the whole commotion over seeing someone drunk. The possibilities were endless, and as for Iwa, he was dying to witness what he would behold, and what words would spit out of his mouth. Everyone knee drunken words were unconscious thoughts.<br/>
“Can you just come down here? I’ll text you the address.”</p><p>	He met Daichi by his black rundown toyota corolla in front of the sketchy building. Although it was a scruffy car, Iwa did have to applaud him for having one. Not that many people were as good with their money to afford one for themselves in university.<br/>
“So what’s the plan?” Iwa breathed out, stopping just beside Daichi, facing the building as if they were about to infiltrate it and steal the riches casted away.<br/>
“I go find Suga. You go find Oikawa. And we meet back here.” Daichi announced. They took one brief look at each other, locking eyes before turning their heads into the direction they were heading in to complete their so-called mission impossible.<br/>
It didn’t take long for Iwa to find Oikawa. Just as he walked through the door, he figured Oikawa was at the centre of all the commotion on the dance floor. The flashing colours bliding his view, along with the overpowering music blasting through his ears wasn’t particularly enjoyable for Iwa, but he shouldered through the crowds head on, determined to get Oikawa out of this place.<br/>
Just as he suspected, when he reached the centre of where the large crowd of people circled from, Oikawa was at the centre with a few others. A scotch glass in hand, which looked as though it could fall and break at any moment. Along with his shirt swung far over to one side, revealing far too much of his body, and countless glow stick bracelets around his neck and wrists as if he were at some sort of rave instead of the club. He was laughing, and dancing energetically, though his drunken state provided him with misplacing his step a few couple of times.<br/>
“Oikawa, hey what are you doing.” Iwa planted a hand on Oikawa’s shoulder, knowing very well he wouldn’t have noticed him if he hadn’t.<br/>
“IWA-CHAN!!” Oikawa came running over, throwing his arms around Iwa’s neck, and pressing a sloppy kiss to his cheek. “Guys, look it’s Iwa-chan!!” He exclaimed once more, trying to divert everyone’s attention.<br/>
“I think we need to get home.” Iwa offered, taking Oikawa’s arms off him, trying so very hard to keep a straight face.<br/>
“But I don’t wanna go home.” Oikawa whined. “I wanna party.” He continued to dance some more in the spot, as Iwa let a few laughs out under his breath. He felt somehow blessed to witness the wreck Oikawa made himself into.<br/>
“We can party at home, when you’re sober.”<br/>
“NO!” Oikawa yelled. “I want to stay here. I want- I want to be free.”<br/>
“Free from what exactly?” Iwa’s brow raised. His laughter beginning to die down.<br/>
“From relationships! I want- I want to be free and happy.” Oiawa’s words slurred. It was clearly evident he was drunk. But the things he said seemed to be a reflection of whatever was going on in the crowded head of his.<br/>
“What! So you want to hookup with girls all night long? Is that it?” Iwa retaliated.<br/>
“I want to be free.” Oikawa repeated again, swirling in many different directions, unable to stand straight.<br/>
“You’re the one who wanted this, not me.” Iwa interjected. He knew there was no point in getting into a fight with a drunk person, he knew the slim chances of Oikawa knowing what he was saying and how much he would remember the next day. But he couldn’t help but intervene.<br/>
“I want to be free from this.” Oikawa complained, “C’mon let's go dance.” Dragging his arm, heading back to the dance floor. Blinded by anger, and hurt, Iwa swung back his arm abandoning Oikawa on the dance floor, who didn’t even notice he had left, and headed out for the building wondering why he thought coming was a good idea.<br/>
Exiting the building, Daichi was leaning against his car door, patting Suga on the back as he vomited out into the sewer beneath him.<br/>
“Hey where’s Oikawa?” Daichi peered up to see Iwa empty handed.<br/>
“I don’t know, and I don’t care.” Iwa grunted, marching through the streets, with his hood on as a comfort. This was exactly what he wanted to prevent. Everything he tried to stray away from. He wasn’t needed.<br/>
He could give everything just to be turned back around, and looked over like he was nothing. The funny thing was he finally felt seen. Someone had finally turned him around and said I notice you, and I love you. And that very someone had just told him he wanted to be free of him.<br/>
It just took him back to who he was. He was a ghost. He knew it was an absurd, even preposterous thought, because there was no reason to explain the illogical idea. He was a physical living human being, who breathed air, who walked the earth with his own two feet, but if someone were to pay attention, they would know how Iwa felt it was to be unseen.<br/>
He was merely a presence people remembered. They remembered his body, his face, and his smile. They remember all the small things about the way he was composed. His dark messy hair, his olive eyes, and his small smile. And if they were ever close with him, they would remember his birthday or his favourite colour. After years of wandering through memories, Iwa came to the realization that no one remembered the words he spoke.<br/>
They would remember what he did, but never a word he’d say. He was constantly overwritten with other people. He was left only as a lingering memory in everyone else's minds. He remembered everything that everyone didn’t. No he couldn’t remember the silly day you were born, nor your favourite colour. He could sit and debate with himself for hours, wondering if your hair was blonde instead of brunette or your eyes honey instead of hazel.<br/>
But he remembered what you went through. He remembered how you have been hurt, how you live with the hurt, how you live with the pain. He remembers how you love, how you show it. He remembers how you live through your emotions. And whether it is a good or bad thing he would always see it as a curse, because there are times when idiotic words slip from people’s mouth that they don’t mean but his mind works in an odd way. He would dissect the words one by one with the tone and the manner, and he would remember them. He would have them engraved in his mind. They always live in his head. Always screaming, always there, never gone. They can never be washed from the walls. Never will there be an escape. He remembered everything people said and did. He remembered how people hurt him in the slightest ways. He remembered and he never let it go. Never let go.<br/>
For the ghosts aren’t easy to find in this odd and cruel world. But if anyone were to listen attentively, they may hear the cries of help hiding behind their own cultivated lies meant to abandon others from their trail of suspicion. Because, ghosts were real. Not the clear ones who slip through the walls, or the ones that are bedsheets with two holes for eyes. They live among us and are ordinary people, deceiving everyone with their quixotic lies. </p><p>The next day Oikawa woke with a familiar pounding headache. It had been long since he felt like this, but he couldn’t say he didn’t regret letting go for just one night. The majority of the day he spent finishing all his leftover work, as did Suga. On the other hand Daichi was looking over them like an exhausted parent, not knowing at all what to do with his children.<br/>
Later in the evening, Daichi and Suga eventually headed off to do their own thing which Oikawa didn’t mind at all. He truly had to get things done, and he enjoyed having some time to himself.<br/>
He was just about finished all his papers due that week until a heavy knock pounded at the door.<br/>
“Hey, what are you doing here?” Oikawa smiled, happy to see the surprise that awaited him.<br/>
He didn’t appear as though he had gotten much sleep. There were heavy bags under his eyes, and he was all jittery possibly from coffee or any sort of caffeine. His hands were in fists balled at his side, holding back some sort of anger.<br/>
“This.” Iwa cautioned, waving his hands between the both of them. “This is over.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>THIS IS NOT THE END - or close to the end - jUst sO yOu knoW</p><p>anyways thanks for reading!! if you have any thoughts please add in the comments!! Thank you!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>food? maybe? long awaited food?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The words hit him like blows to the chest, sucking out all the air he breathed, permitting him from thinking straight. Maybe he was still suffering from his hangover, maybe he had heard Iwa wrong. It couldn’t have been over. Nothing had happened.<br/>
Everything between them was undeniably growing. They were going somewhere. They were working together to maintain what they were. What was he missing?<br/>
“I’m sorry, what?” Was all Oikawa could fathom up from his restless mind.<br/>
“Do you not remember anything that happened last night?” Iwa shouted, his eyes widening with anger. Oikawa couldn’t recall anything from the night before, and certainly didn’t remember seeing Iwa. Clearly, Iwa clued in at the expressionless and confused face Oikawa had. “Forget it.” He said, about to walk off, ready to be done with whatever had just happened.<br/>
“You at least owe me an explanation.” Oikawa said, grabbing onto Iwa’s wrist to prevent him from leaving. It was immediately pulled away, like Iwa was disgusted to touch him. Like he was some sort of disease he didn’t want to catch again.<br/>
“I don’t owe you anything.” Iwa sneered. Perhaps he was acting overdramatically. Oikawa was drunk. There was no need for further explanation. It wasn’t exactly his fault, but there was no good in going soft and apologizing now.<br/>
“What are you so afraid of!”<br/>
In the short time he had known him, he had never pegged Oikawa to be the kind of person to yell at someone. He was always patient and composed, kind and analytic. His heightened emotions, and angered voice came as a shock to Iwa, stopping him in his tracks. “Why are you so scared of this.”<br/>
“God fucking-” Iwa cursed, throwing his hands in the air trying to say something, trying to walk away from this without any loose strings. He should have just left if he wanted it to end. But he came hurtling into Oikawa’s apartment with each angry step he took forward, Oikawa warily stepped backward. “I’m not scared.”<br/>
“Then tell me.” Oikawa begged. “Tell me why you suddenly want to leave! Tell me why you act like you don’t care, but have no trouble holding me while I sleep, or even kissing me! Tell me why you want to end-”<br/>
“BECAUSE.” Iwa interrupted.<br/>
“Because what!” Oikawa screamed back, doused in emotional pain.<br/>
“Because I’m scared of love.”  Iwa swallowed down, his voice shaky in admitting it to someone for the first time. It felt alright to say. Afterall, Oikawa already confessed to him. It was ok to show him bits of himself. Little by little.<br/>
“Iwa.” Oikawa croaked. Approaching him with each small step, trying to comfort him.<br/>
“No I get it, it’s stupid.” Iwa affirmed, motioning his hand to shoo Oikawa away from him.<br/>
“Why? Why does it scare you?” Oikawa questioned further, beginning to get on Iwa’s nerves. Annoyed by the sudden force of questions intending to break down his heavily structured walls.<br/>
“Because. I don’t, I don’t want to be hurt, I don't want to hurt anyone.” He lied. Iwa was scared for many reasons. He knew the destruction it caused but it wasn’t why he strayed away from it as much as possible. It was because he fell too easily.<br/>
He gave all his love to those he cared for. He was blind when it came to love, missing every warning sign, ignoring them even. He wanted to believe every single time he wouldn’t be hurt, or he would be cared for, or he would find a place to belong. He dreamed of it every single time, and consequently every scenario he conjured up in his thoughts were never equivalent to the reality he lived.<br/>
He could always hate love, but it never meant he didn’t feel it.<br/>
And he felt it. He felt it in the most intense and heart wrenching way. He loved so easily, and loved so passionately that turning back the slightest would cause him all the more damage.<br/>
So it was easier to let go now. Before anything could get any worse.<br/>
“Iwa, you could never hurt me.” Oikawa comforted. Offering a small smile, besides the obvious tension he was feeling.<br/>
“You say that as if pain doesn’t exist.” Iwa laughed out hysterically. He was looking at himself now, from down below. A broken boy, laughing at his life as though it were merely a joke. He felt psychotic. In a way he didn’t mind.<br/>
“Iwa look-” Oikawa pressed a hand onto his shoulder, trying to calm him down.<br/>
Iwa only interrupted. His laughter disappearing ever so quickly, replaced with the deep and burning anger for everything his life ever gave him. “I just. I don’t want this.”<br/>
“What?” Oikawa further pressed on.<br/>
“Feelings!” Everything suddenly began to splur out, and Iwa finally didn’t hold back. “I know, I know it sounds ridiculous. But this is everything I’ve been avoiding.” It was almost a realization for himself as he looked Oikawa straight into his silky chocolate eyes and said, “I’ve been avoiding these feelings because I think I’m in love with you Oikawa, and I’m terrified.”<br/>
“Then… don’t tell me you love me.” Oikawa’s soft voice soothed into the air. “Tell me…  how you feel.” Struggling to find the words, he took Iwa’s hands in his, bringing them up to stand right in front of him. “How you feel when you’re with me.”<br/>
Without hesitation, the words came tumbling out of Iwa’s mouth. Words neither of them thought they’d ever hear in a million lifetimes.<br/>
“You ignite this burning fire inside of me. I keep thinking it’s anger. I continue to think it’s this built up hatred. I thought- I thought you were bringing out the worst parts in me. Not you in particular, but my mark, soulmates, love in general?” He wasn’t sure he was making very much sense, but he tried. He tried making sense of the locked away parts of himself.<br/>
“And was I? Was I bringing out the worst parts in you Iwa?”<br/>
Iwa gulped, repulsed by what he was about to say, but saying it anyways. “No. You gave me something to feel.”<br/>
“And what was that?” Oikawa cocked his head to the side. Iwa could feel the ridiculous questioning in his head. He knew Oikawa wasn’t stupid, he knew he was looking for an answer. He knew it was his way of getting him to talk. He despised it.<br/>
But of course he went along.<br/>
Gulping once more as his throat closed in. The words weren’t coming out of his mouth. Any words. The ridiculous words that made Iwa want to slap himself at the sound of such cheesy words.<br/>
“Passion.” He gulped, “Love.” Normally he would cringe at the word, but instead his voice croaked out broken, reflecting the person he was on the inside.<br/>
“It's the price we pay to feel.” Oikawa let the words roll off his tongue with absolute delicacy before bringing his lips to his. Suddenly all walls were torn down. All expectations, all identities. At this moment they were just two people who felt a unified emotion. They were simply two boys who let their life problems shield them from their emotions towards one another.<br/>
Their hands began to travel up the side of the other. Passionate and close, hitching breaths between kisses, tongues intertwined. They stumbled, trying to find their way somewhere through the empty apartment. Finding themselves the closest surface. Shoving Oikawa against the wall, his desperation to have Oikawa for himself sprung through him. Circling his hands around Oikawa’s wrists, pinning them to the sides of his head. Immediately, he began working his way through a trail of kisses down the length of his neck. Not daring to leave a second in escaping his touch.<br/>
“Iwa.” Oikawa whimpered out, over and over between the heat of Iwa’s breath, and his smooth tongue trailing down him.<br/>
He took his left hand away to unbutton the first few buttons of Oikawa’s shirt. With his own hand free, Oikawa reached for Iwa, longing to touch him as well. Longing to show him how much he cared, how much he wanted to show him that whatever this was, there was no reason to be afraid. However, Iwa had already anticipated the move.<br/>
Iwa caught his wrist one again before even having the chance to make mere contact, raising it above his head. Bringing the other hand over as well, Oikawa’s hands were pinned together with Iwa’s one hand.<br/>
“Iwa.” Oikawa attempted in protest, only to be met with a hard press of Iwa’s lips.<br/>
“Shut up, won’t you.” He mumbled after pulling away, once again beginning his trail of kisses. Oikawa didn’t dare say a word, nor could he formulate any in between the small noises he made at Iwa’s contact.<br/>
“Do you…” Iwa breathed heavily, his lips pressing down Oikawa’s chest.<br/>
“Yes.” Oikawa moaned, confirming some sort of consent. “Yes, yes.” The only words that managed to splurge through his red swollen lips. In a hurry, Oikawa struggled to free his wrists<br/>
from Iwa’s powerful grip, until they were suddenly let go as they began stumbling towards the bedroom.<br/>
Clumsily misplacing their feet, Oikawa tripled upon the edge of the bed, falling flat onto the mattress, interrupting their heavy breaths between kisses. Closing the door behind him, Iwa pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it towards the floor, making his way to meet Oikawa.<br/>
The sight of Iwa’s bare skin, and muscular bodice sent a delicious warmth racing through Oikawa’s body.<br/>
Iwa’s hands brushed up against Oikawa, helping his twitching hands unbutton the rest of his dress shirt, letting it find a place next to Iwa’s shirt somewhere on the ground. Their lips didn’t leave one another’s presence, apart from the unwanted breaths interrupting their union.<br/>
Oikawa’s limbs were scoundressly heavy, at Iwa’s hot touch against his skin. His fingers sent sparks to every place he touched, sending Oikawa’s head back in a gasp of delight.<br/>
As they did before, they trailed further down his body, this time leaving much skin to be explored. His heart quivering in his chest with the thousands of butterflies waiting to be set free.<br/>
Iwa’s fingers lingered at the top of his pants, with a nod of approval. More so a rapid shaking of his head in utter desperation, Iwa’s strength ripped them open, unveiling Oikawa in his raw form.<br/>
Immediate anxious insecurities overcame Oikawa. He was always confident about the way he was in front of others. He saw himself in various different lights. But any person had their own insecurities. As for Oikawa he tended to be pretty good at hiding the traits he despised about himself.<br/>
“You’re gorgeous.” Iwa said breathlessly.<br/>
“Aren’t I?” Oikawa flashed a smile. The smallest words could easily regain his confidence.<br/>
“Not as gorgeous as you’re gonna be,” Iwa grinned in return. Leaning in as if he were coming in for a kiss, stopping an inch away from Oikawa’s lips, bringing his fingers up to his chin to lift up his gaze. “Oh the things I would do, to hear you call out my name.”<br/>
OIkawa felt the hot breath against him, making his legs go perilously weak. Iwa ventured down the slim structure of Oikawa, sliding his hands down, down, down, until he reached his waist.<br/>
“You may want to turn around.” Iwa mentioned, carefully nudging Oikawa.<br/>
“Right.” Oikawa mused. Turning around so he lay on all fours, utterly vulnerable to Iwa.<br/>
They were brought together, as Oikawa gasped at the slight pain and unknown fullness. Moving at a synchronized rhythm, filling Oikawa with shock, and pleasure. He whimpered and moaned, squeezing his eyes, and gripping the sheets from beneath him to bare the motion.<br/>
After indescribable feelings of pleasure and pain, specifically from below, Oikawa grew tired of staring at the ruffled sheets beneath him.<br/>
He longed to see Iwa’s face. To see the same pleasure brought to him. To kiss him lovingly, to touch him devotedly, and to hold him tenderly.<br/>
“Iwa.” Oikawa moaned out into the rhythm of their movements. “Iwa.” He said again.<br/>
“Yes?” He stopped, pulling out and bending down to meet Oikawa’s gaze. “Are you alright?” He asked, cupping his cheek.<br/>
“Let me see you.” Oikawa whimpered, slowly moving onto his back, his hand on Iwa’s shoulder, pulling him close as they moved.<br/>
There was so much he wanted to see. Not only himself physically, but everything. His mind, and his soul. He wanted to see Iwa in his most pure form. He wanted to see him without his armour, vulnerable and alive.<br/>
“Spread your legs for me then.” Iwa said wickedly, mocking him with his hands gripped against his knees. As commanded, Oikawa opened up his legs, whilst Iwa staggered his hands for support on both sides of Oikawa.<br/>
“Iwa.” “I- I feel empty.” Oikawa gasped at his own words. He wanted more, he wanted Iwa. More and more until he was unconscious with love. He was addicted, he was sick, and he couldn’t get enough.<br/>
“You’re demanding, you know that?” Iwa said, purposefully taking his time.<br/>
“Please.” Oikawa pleaded, tossing his head back in desperation.<br/>
“I like it when you beg.” Iwa grinned before going in once again.<br/>
“Iwa.” He whimpered, as the pace picked up. Oikawa, unsure of how much he could bear. “Iwa.’ He moaned once more. The pace picking up even further. Everytime he called out his name, just as he wanted, Iwa kept giving him more.<br/>
“That’s not my name.” Iwa pointed out. “Say my name for me.”<br/>
He had never called Iwa his given name. It was out of respect of course, and he hadn’t particularly known Iwa for a while. But this was personal. This felt like he was finally opening up.<br/>
“Ha-Hajime.” Oikawa hitched out.<br/>
“What is it, Tooru?” Iwa smiled, bending down to hear him.<br/>
“Love me gently?” He asked, the pain leaving him speechless, as well as exhausted.<br/>
“As you wish.” Iwa mused, as he made love to the boy he wished to call his own. </p><p>“You are devilishly great in bed.” Iwa emphasized. They were both under the covers, both not wearing an inch of clothing. They were drenched in sweat, heaving breaths, staring at the ceiling, recollecting their thoughts from the moment they had just shared.<br/>
“And I thought you were gonna say I was beautiful.” Oikawa huffed.<br/>
“You know that already.” Iwa snickered, moving onto his side.<br/>
“I do don’t I?” Oikawa smiled to himself, mimicking Iwa’s movements so he could look straight at him.<br/>
“Oh shut up.” Iwa rolled his eyes,<br/>
“You know I never do.”<br/>
“Now you do.” Iwa replied, leaning in for another kiss. Each kiss was like the first, a place they had never known, and a feeling they wanted to keep going forever and ever.<br/>
“Goodnight Iwa-chan.” Oikawa smiled, never feeling as light as he did this very moment.<br/>
“Goodnight, kawa.”<br/>
Oikawa fell straight asleep from pure exhaustion. Never getting to see Iwa’s wide, open eyes and loud pounding thoughts screaming into the night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINKKKKKK - uh that was not supposed to be aggressive </p><p>lolz anyways thank you for reading!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HEYYYYY sorry im lateeee i kinda got carried away with some stuff, ANYWAYS have fun!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When his eyes fluttered open, and the awareness of the world settled into his body, Oikawa stared towards the ceiling replaying the events of last night. On a normal day like anyone else it would take a few minutes to let his eyes restfully open, but the only shot towards the sky, as the thoughts rummaged through his mind just as they always did.<br/>
He couldn't say he was disappointed with last night. Afterall he was waiting for it to happen. He never imagined it would happen in that way per se. So much had happened.<br/>
Turning his head, glancing at the gorgeous unbelieving face beside him. He had never anticipated this moment. There was something admirable about Iwa’s calm face, fast asleep. He didn’t radiate his usual tough and arduous aura with the slight part in his lips, and the close of his eyes. He appeared lovely as ever, like the settled waves after a raging storm.<br/>
It had only just occurred to Oikawa the times they had spent together asleep, Iwa was always the last to fall asleep and first to wake up. No wonder he found this moment so precious.<br/>
Then occurred to him once more, in big showstopping letters. The mark. The words he had been dying to see, and yet never hear himself say. He had a chance to find it in the moments when Iwa remained in his slumber.<br/>
Oikawa sat up in bed, peering over Iwa. “Fuck where is it.” Oikawa muttered, gently moving the sheets to try and spot any sort of mark on Iwa’s tanned skin. Checking the side of his neck, his collarbone, his chest. Frustrated, he slowly started peeling the sheets down to see if it were anywhere on his ribs, or his core, until Iwa’s voice jolted him into a scare.<br/>
“You had all of last night to find it.” Iwa spoke, making Oikawa jump backwards at the sudden realization he had been awake all this time.<br/>
“JESUS IWA.” He yelled, fearful and shocked. A small wave of embarrassment washed over him at the notion of being caught.<br/>
“Just saying.” Iwa demurred. He was still on his side, and his eyes remained shut.<br/>
“Guess we’ll have to do this more often.” Oikawa smirked. Flashing through the memories of last night. Iwa’s hands on his body, his lips against his own, their connection and union, all fresh in his cursed memory.<br/>
“You’re never gonna find it.” Iwa said, shaking his head into the pillows.<br/>
“Oh my god.” Oikawa stated aloud. He opened his mouth in the spur of his ideas as to where the mark lay.<br/>
“What.” Iwa countered in return.“What” He repeated, watching Oikawa crawl across the bed, lifting the covers at the edge of the bed to reveal his cold feet. “Hey what are you doing?” Iwa began to raise himself to sit, swatting his hands at Oikawa. “Get your hands off my feet.” Iwa grimaced.<br/>
“Frick I really thought it’d be there.” Oikawa said, disappointed sitting for a moment before crawling back to his spot on the left side of the bed. Checking his phone on the bedside<br/>
table, about to get up and make some breakfast, until an arm swooped around his waist tugging him back into bed.<br/>
“Nope, I'm not letting you go, it’s too early to get out of bed.” Iwa mustered, pulling Oikawa closer so his back curled into his chest.<br/>
“But Iwa, it’s literally nine.” Oikawa whined.<br/>
“Still early.” Iwa said back, his eyes still closed. “You’ll only get a limited amount of time of this shittykawa.” he nuzzled his nose against Oikawa’s neck.<br/>
<em>Limited.<em><br/>
The word replayed over and over, and Oikawa was starting to believe he was dreaming all along. “So you're not staying.” He stated, pushing Iwa’s face away from him so he could look at Iwa himself.<br/>
There was so much he wanted to know, so much he wanted to ask. Was it nothing to him? Was he just someone he could play around with? Make him fall in love, break his heart, place the blame on him? Was this all just a lie?<br/>
“I can still decide.” Iwa said it as though it were common knowledge, like nothing in the past few weeks had any sort of significance.<br/>
He didn't want to say anymore than he needed to. Even though his mind was running restless without answers. He decided to ask about something else. Oikawa didn’t want any sort of argument arising. Especially now, when everything felt like a fairytale, including all the questionable events daring the story forward.<br/>
“What about the words, do I ever get to see them?” He was looking for them just a moment ago. The question was anything but suspicious.<br/>
“Why does it matter anyways?” Iwa finally opened his eyes, looking back at Oikawa for the first time this morning. His olive eyes calm, reflecting his own relaxed presence. “They’re just a couple of words.” He shrugged casually.<br/>
Clearly he wasn’t keeping up with the rest of society.<br/>
“Words I’d like to know so I can avoid them.” Oikawa suggested.<br/>
“People rely too much on them.”<br/>
Iwa wasn’t wrong, but he forgot how powerful they were, how much they could change a person. Take Oikawa’s own mark for example.<br/>
“Well especially when the words are hateful, yeah I guess.” Oikawa shot back.<br/>
“Hey.” Iwa retorted. Taking Oikawa’s left hand in his, bringing it up to his lips, kissing them gently. His hot breath, and rubbing of his lips travelled to Oikawa's ring finger, where the mark lay. Pressing small kisses along the inner side, as if to wipe away the words like they no longer existed.<br/>
He longed to touch his hands. It was the first thing he fell in love with. Many would say a person's smile, or maybe their eyes, but Iwa couldn’t stray from Oikawa's hands. The slender long fingers, soft like silk and delicate as glass. How beautiful they looked holding onto something as simply as a cup of coffee. Maybe it was when they held hands for the very first time when they were in the museum. The comfort and love they encompassed just through small contact. The same fingers that held his face, and explored him the night before. How they sent shivers through him at the mere touch. How they drove him insane. How perfect they were. How much he wanted them.<br/>
“I just, what happened? What is this? What did I do wrong?” Oikawa confessed the plethora of images in his head.<br/>
It wasn’t hard to tell what he was referring to. Even Iwa himself didn’t know what kind of force overtook him the night before. One moment they were fighting, and the next they were in Oikawa’s bedroom. One moment he was ready to run just like he always did. He was ready to let go, forcing himself to let go. All up until he saw Oikawa’s face, did he start to fall apart.<br/>
With a heavy sigh, Iwa recounted the night to Oikawa through his point of view. “You- you said you wanted to be free?” It came out sounding like a question. Iwa didn’t particularly know what Oikawa meant through it, simply the way he thought of it. Which he desperately now hoped he had interpreted it wrongly. “You said, from relationships. So you could be happy.” He added quickly after, hoping it would help.<br/>
“Free.” Oikawa mused aloud. Iwa was completely unsure what he was thinking as Oikawa stared at the ceiling. The same thing he always did when his thoughts started running. Oikawa would always look up, whether it was the ceiling or the sky, just somewhere up there, and his mind would wonder.<br/>
Iwa only ever wondered what Oikawa did.<br/>
“I have this dream.” Oikawa continued, closing his eyes. “I have this dream where I can travel the world and not be tied to anything. That I can see everything that I want to see. The mountains, the waterfalls, the beaches, the wonders of the world. I want to taste different foods. I want to taste the luscious delicacies from all over the place, the divine gelato from Italy, or the scrumptious pastries from France. I want to live in the moment. At every moment. I want to dance in the streets of Spain at night, with small lanterns hanging from the walls. I want to go to England during the ballroom season, and dress in fancy attire and pretend I live a wealthy lifestyle for a mere couple of days. Hell, I want to climb Mount Everest, and ski down Whistler, even though I’ve never skied before! I want to feel alive in every way possible. I don’t want a relationship, but I guess that makes this seem all so silly doesn’t it? Me chasing after you. I’ve always thought of this life as a fairytale. Not a dream.”<br/>
Oikawa looked back at Iwa, and given his sudden burst of explaining his last few comments, Iwa must have had a baffled look on his face. He was befuddled anyways, and couldn’t find any words to say. Confused at whether he should be admiring Oikawa’s outlook on life, arguing about it, or bringing up the last part, which essentially made no sense to him whatsoever.<br/>
“I know it sounds fucked up. I know. I feel lonely all the time, and a relationship? Someone who won’t make me feel alone anymore? That's where the dream lies, in the place that makes you feel alive. In the place that makes you feel like you’re exploring the world. That is freedom. That’s my dream.”<br/>
He couldn’t say he believed in soulmates. It was certain. He said it many many times before. He didn’t believe love could last, he never did. But he believed in Oikawa. He believed in his thoughts, his ideas and his dreams. He believed in him. He realized that was all he ever needed.<br/>
“Kiss me.” Was all Iwa could say.<br/>
“Why?” Oikawa said, astonished by the coolness in his voice. Calm and composed, like kissing him was a second habit.<br/>
“Just kiss me you twink.” Iwa rolled his eyes, reaching in.<br/>
“Sorry what did you call me?” Oikawa asked for clarification, as Iwa’s soft lips met his, lazy and tired, but loving all the same.<br/>
“I’m sorry. I overreacted. It just-” Iwa began to apologize, realizing his own mistake. Though he was sure it was the best decision at the time.<br/>
“No, no, don’t ever apologize for your thoughts. I’m… I’m happy we could work this out.” Oikawa offered. His wide and everloving smile gleaming at Iwa.<br/>
“Yea, me too.” Iwa smiled back. </em></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <em>	They didn’t do much, other than sit around and chat it up. They didn't bother going to Iva's place as the apartment was jam packed with other people. That only being three other boys, two of which were incredibly invested in the relationship it could be intrusive at times, and the other so unfazed he couldn’t acknowledge Oikawa’s presence.<br/>
Oikawa didn’t mind them hanging at their place all the time anyways. It felt like the right place to be. He felt more comfort in his own home while he tackled the discomfort of reaching out of his shell. The setting of his apartment was his own mini support, keeping him at bay while he learned to know Iwa and himself more each and every day.<br/>
“I’m bored.” Oikawa began out of nowhere in their contained silence. They were both doing their own thing. Lazily scrolling through their phones, music playing in the background as they lay sprawled on the living room sofa.<br/>
“So what do you wanna do?” Iwa looked up from his phone.<br/>
“Let's go out.” Oikawa said excitedly, getting up onto his knees. He was getting tired of the stuffy living. As much as he adored the time with Iwa, he missed the first few dates they had. When everything was new, and adventures awaited them. When the world was their oyster and they could explore it together in the smallest ways possible.<br/>
“Where?”<br/>
“Let’s go shopping.” Oikawa suggested giddily.<br/>
“A little late for that.” Iwa said looking back down at his phone.<br/>
“Grocery shopping.” Oikawa corrected. He hadn’t been shopping in a while, and didn’t have much interest in new clothing or objects at the moment. Though it wasn’t odd for him to fawn over new fashion lines, collectors editions of books (including new releases), or even delicate antiquities, he was in constant reminder of his crippling student debt.<br/>
“I thought you did groceries with Suga on Sundays.” Of course Oikawa had told him about it before. Especially since it was where it all started. Of all places, it had to be a normal and plain and busy grocery store.<br/>
Oikawa had to stop himself from dreaming of the stories he would tell before getting carried away into a world of scenarios that didn’t exist.<br/>
“Yea but Suga finished all the snacks, and I need more.”<br/>
“Milkbread?” Iwa asked in a presumptuous tone, already knowing what to expect.<br/>
“Hey I don’t just eat milk bread. I eat popcorn, and chips, and things that other people eat.” Oikawa stumbled in his own sentences.<br/>
“Yea right.” Iwa shook his head, holding the door for Oikawa as they walked out. And just like two people in love, they smiled and laughed in conversation the whole way there. </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>	They shuffled through the somewhat empty aisles, playing a game they didn’t know they were playing. Iwa guessed it was somewhere along the lines of tag. They didn’t run of course, it was a public space. They had <em>some<em> respect for others. But every time their paths crossed, Oikawa seemed to be carrying more and more food, right until it all toppled onto the floor.<br/>
Iwa slowly walked up to him, stalking and stoic, imitating and mocking, as Oikawa tried to collect the bags of chips, popcorn and milk bread. All the stuff he said he apparently snacked on.<br/>
Tapping him lightly on the shoulder, feeling his mouth spread into a wide devilish grin, “Caught ya.” Iwa teased, bending down to help Oikawa with the food. “A lot you got here.”<br/>
“I said I needed snacks.” Oikawa theorized.<br/>
“What is it? Your time of the month.” Iwa snickered.<br/>
“Oh shut up Iwa-chan.” Oikawa slapped his arm, marching over to the cashier, his cheeks flushed and a twisted smile. He began laying his items on the register, quickly followed by Iwa and the remainder of bags.<br/>
Once they were out of the building, with the three plastic bags in hand. They started to make their way home, just until Iwa spotted the lone and abandoned shopping cart that should have been put back in place.<br/>
“Wait wait wait.” He stopped just in front of it.<br/>
Stopping as well, Oikawa returned the statement, “What what what.”<br/>
“Hop in the cart.” Iwa motioned at it, putting the two bags he was holding into it, preparing himself for what he was about to do.<br/>
“Just when I thought you were a boring monotone hater.” Oikawa smirked, putting one hand on the side of the cart, as Iwa held it still for him as he hopped in. One foot after the other.<br/>
“Me? Boring? How dare you. You’re about to pay for that.” Iwa laughed aloud, beginning to sprint down the parking lot pushing Oikawa in the cart as he went.<br/>
“You sure this isn’t too fast?” Oikawa hinted at his own worry and very possible fear. His hands grasped the side railings of the cart, holding on for dear life.<br/>
“I thought you wanted to feel alive!” Iwa yelled, enthusiastic as ever, and the greatest smile on his face. Once he gained enough speed, he jumped onto the back of the moving cart, with the wind in his hair, feeling ever so free.<br/>
This was what Oikawa meant. This was the dream.<br/>
“IWA.” Oikawa yelled again, not daring to look back to see if he was paying attention or not. He was sure hoping so. “IWAA! THE CURB.” He yelled again.<br/>
He opened his eyes in the sudden panic at the sight of the small curb ahead of them, just a second away, quickly hopping off the cart so his shoes scraped against the ground, trying to cause as much friction as possible. With all his strength, he pulled against the railing, swinging it to the side, just in time, stopping them before the deadly curb.<br/>
In a combination of astoundment and exhaustion, Iwa bent down, putting his hands on his knees, heaving out large breaths and his eyes widening immensely.<br/>
“That was not funny.” Oikawa heaved out, trying to catch his breath from the relief rushing through him. Iwa finally got up, crossing his arms against the railings, with a great big smile.<br/>
“Not so boring now am I?” Iwa gloated.<br/>
“Hey, boasting is my thing.” Oikawa began stepping out of the cart with Iwa’s help for support.<br/>
“Guess it’s <em> our <em> thing.” Iwa corrected him, keeping his grasp on Oikawa’s hand, and grabbing his other one as well. “You’re rubbing off on me now.” It was true. From the moment he had met Oikawa, he changed. Oikawa truly was Iwa’s light in the darkness. He truly was the stars in his dark treacherous sky, the positive light guiding him home.<br/>
“Guess that’s a good thing.” Oikawa implied.<br/>
“Guess so.” Iwa ended, pulling Oikawa in for one more sweet kiss, before grabbing the bags, and holding one of Oikawa’s hands in his as they walked home.</em></em></em></em></em>
  </em>
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          <em></em>
            <em>	Iwa had left for home strictly after dropping the bags off at Oikawa’s. It wasn’t much for one person to hold by themselves, but spending just a little more time with Oikawa couldn’t hurt at all.<br/>
His mind was full as he sat on the subway, staring straight into empty space. Only to be pulled back into reality from the bussing of his phone on the side of his leg. Before even looking at who was calling, he expected either Oikawa, Mattsun, Makki, or even Kyoutani. It wouldn’t make much sense for Oikawa to call him, but he did hope for it. As for the other three, he hadn’t been home for a while, and thought they were probably worried or something, but it wasn’t as though Kyoutani was one to use his phone to call people in any case.<br/>
Reading the contact name on the screen Iwa immediately knew it wasn’t going to be good news he would be hearing, but he picked it up anyways. He wasn’t going to ignore his mom.</em>
          
        
      
    
  
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thanks for reading!! make sure to leave your thoughts in the comments!! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>new chapterrrrrrr - thanks for all the comments on the last chapter by the way!! it really made my dayyy :)</p><p>anyways have fun!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The subway cart felt insanely empty. As though no one else was there. He was alone again. The sound of the vehicle travelling through the tunnels, the flashing of light through the windows, the rickety motion making his body sway back and forth.<br/>
Iwa held the phone up to his ear, already knowing what to expect.<br/>
“Hey mom,” he swallowed.“What’s up?” He could feel the quiver in his voice. He felt the anxiety in the shaking of his hands, and the small break of sweat. Sometimes he worried he was overreacting when it came to this. Other’s probably went through worse so there was no point in feeling sorry for himself.<br/>
“I can’t do it anymore.” His mom’s broken voice chirped through the phone. Broken sobs, horrid wails. Broken hearts and horrid promises was all it was.<br/>
The conversation was just like he had heard before. The same sentence.<br/>
<i>Not anymore<i><br/>
It was a lie no doubt, and it killed Iwa everytime he believed it was the truth. He could love his parents, but he didn’t love what their relationship put each other through.<br/>
“I can’t do it.” She repeated, her voice softer than before. She was calmer. But Iwa knew that would only last a short period of time. The storm would always come.<br/>
“With what?” He posed the familiar question, the cycle repeating itself as it always did. He knew the answer, he knew how the conversation would unfold. He knew it all. And everytime it would hit him harder than the last.<br/>
“YOUR FATHER!” He flinched at the yell through the phone. There was the first strike. The first bolt of lightning. The storm had begun.<br/>
He knew his mother wasn’t anywhere near, but the voice always put him in an anxious state. If he was home there was no doubt some of her anger would have been taken out on him, other than verbally.<br/>
“He can’t do shit, he doesn’t give a shit about us. Just his job. You better tell him to start keeping his promises.” She warned.<br/>
“What did he do?” This time… he wanted to add, but knew there was no point in sparking up further unnecessary arguments. It was always better if he said as little as possible, and deal with it on his own later.<br/>
“HE HAS NO CARE IN THE WORLD. I don’t know why I married him, he’d be better off with his Diana. Him and his godfucked whore.” The same name. Over and over. Diana this, Diana that. It wasn’t as though she was the only one Iwa’s father waltzed around with. There were countless affairs, and unknown hook ups at lately hours. Though Diana had hurt Iwa’s mother the most, it only made sense to curse her above all else.<br/>
“Where is he?”<br/>
“WHERE DO YOU THINK? At the bar whoring off.” She broke once more, tearing an aching silence through the phone other than her small sobs of pain. “Hajime, you're going to be better than him, and better than me and this fucked up life do you understand?” He could see her finger pointing at him, with her other hand grasping her hip, with a scrunch up face drenched in angry tears.<br/>
It was the same thing she always made him promise. To be better than them. He had planned it from the beginning. He wasn’t going to live some destined life like them, and he would stick by his own promise.<br/>
“Yes mom.” He accepted. “Where are you now?”<br/>
“Driving. I need to get away.” <i>Away.<i> That’s what Iwa did. He learned it from his mother. To run away from all his problems. To burst into anger when things didn’t go the way he needed or wanted and as soon as the rage and fury didn’t work, he would leave the problems in the dust.<br/>
“Where are you going?”<br/>
“I DON'T KNOW'' She never the knew. She just drove until she felt the anger leave her body, and the heaps of tears overtook her. Iwa was just the same. “I don’t know.”<br/>
Sometimes she would be gone for hours, maybe days. He never knew where she went. When they used to live closer to family she would go there and spend time with his aunt. When he was younger she used to take him with her. They’d drive around the dark streets, a mixture of silence, sobs and screaming. It scared him. The way she would speed up the car when she felt angered, and come to a halting stop.<br/>
He remembered the one time they were stopped by an officer. They had almost gotten into a collision. The officer had let his mother off after seeing her tears, and little Iwa sitting in the back. But his mother never failed to remind him as he got older that she had meant to kill them both that night. Back when his father was having an affair with that Diana woman.<br/>
Iwa had always tried to shove that memory deep down and forget it. But it was always there, tormenting his mind.<br/>
After that she had stopped taking him. Leaving him alone at the house as he waited for his father to come home. He used to crouch up in the living room, with all the lights on in the house afraid of the dark. Eventually when he could hear his father come through the door, he would sprint upstairs to his room and hide under the covers pretending he was asleep. He never wanted to deal with his drunken father. And if he wasn’t drunk, he was surely mad and would use Iwa as an outlet from time to time. If the screaming wasn’t enough, then the throwing of objects could supply. Iwa never knew what was worse.<br/>
He never knew what to say during these conversations. Even when he still did live at home, his mother would call him when she left.<br/>
He whisked away his disturbing memories, shaking his head and asked his mother. “Ok” was the only thing coming from his mouth.<br/>
“Don’t tell him if he calls you.” It was absurd of course. His father never made an effort to call unless it was work or his trail of other women. The only times he would ask Iwa of his mother’s whereabouts was when they lived at home and he returned from his countless hours at the bar.<br/>
“Of course mom. I love-” He didn’t get to finish.<br/>
She didn’t even say goodbye. She simply hung up and left Iwa alone on the other side of the phone. Alone. That's all he was. He learned to get used to it. He learned to build up his walls, and let some people wander around them, never daring to let anyone inside. Who knew what damage they would cause?<br/>
The only thing to wait for would be her calling back in a couple hours or quite possibly a number of days with an apology. Before she’d used to buy him a drink from Starbucks or treat him to a meal, give him a hug as she apologized for the way she acted. Stroke his hair, telling him she was sorry and overreacted, and she never meant to act in such a way.<br/>
It was all the same. Never ending. It drove him insane.</i></i></i></i></p>
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    <i>	The next day Oikawa made his way over to Iwa’s apartment. He hadn't heard back from him since last night though he didn’t mind. He wasn’t very much the type to be on his phone every second of the day.<br/>
He agreed to come over last night before Iwa had left, so Oikawa had thought that was enough confirmation already. Oikawa knocked lightly on the door before a booming voice came through telling him it was open.<br/>
“Hey Oikawa.” Makki invited him in with the nod of his head. He was plopped on the couch with Mattsun, obviously distracted with something on the television.<br/>
“Hey.” Oikawa waved shyly coming through the door. He only now noticed the two boys were playing a video game. They both held two wii remotes in hand, staring straight towards the screen like their lives depended on it.<br/>
“Here to see Iwa?” Mattsun asked.<br/>
“That’s right.” Oikawa confirmed stepping behind the sofa to see exactly what they were playing. It was also on the way to Iwa’s room so it wasn’t as though it were a weird place to be.<br/>
Oikawa could feel the great big smile arising on his face. Makk and Mattsun were playing Mario kart, and were specifically playing Rainbow Road. The nostalgia came crawling in like the warmest and happiest feeling ever. There was so much Oikawa would do to relive his youth. When the days were easier and problems didn’t get in his way.<br/>
“He’s in his room. Feel free to go in, or hang with us.” Mattsun added, keeping his eyes glued to the screen. “Fuck.” Mattsun swore as his character of choice, Waluigi plummeted down off the road.<br/>
Oikawa recalled he was never good at Rainbow Road himself, as he would constantly fall off the road, but there were so many other courses he excelled at. He was just itching to play.<br/>
“OH MY GOD.” Makki suddenly boomed, turning around to face Oikawa with an astounded look on his face. It was as if he cracked a highly formulated code, and the revelation was coming to him now.<br/>
“Why'd you pause it?” Mattsun asked annoyed, slamming down his remote into his lap, turning around as well.<br/>
“Cause we’re speaking the great Oikawa.” Makki unveiled his hand as to reveal exactly who the “great Oikawa” was, since Mattsun didn’t seem to catch what Makki had in mind.<br/>
“You just wanted to ruin my flow.”<br/>
“PLEASE,” Makki beamed, putting his hand up to Mattsun’s face. “Anyways,” He started back again, addressing Oikawa. “You should get Iwa and we can battle it out. Game night.” He shot finger guns at him, ready to go.<br/>
“Can we still bet on things?” Mattsun seemed suddenly interested once more.<br/>
“Of course.” Makki rolled his eyes like it was common sense. It was pretty clear that’s what they had been doing before Oikawa had arrived, or were playing some form where someone would get a prize. “What fun would it be without it?”<br/>
“The lovebirds vs the dynamic duo.” Mattsun waved his hands to show it as some headline in the making.<br/>
“We’re so winning.” Makki exclaimed. “No offence Oikawa.”<br/>
“Hmm are you sure?”Oikawa dared, crossing his arms. “I have a very competitive streak. I don’t plan on losing.” He flashed a smile. If Oikawa was down for anything it was a friendly competition. Even though he had been told various times the word friendly in friendly competition didn’t seem to ring true in his head.<br/>
“Whoo hoo hoo!” Matssun whistled, hollering aloud. “This is about to go DOWN.”<br/>
“Ok, ok I’ll go get Iwa.” Oikawa announced, lighting jogging over to Iwa’s door.<br/>
Small sparks of excitement jolted through him. He had never seen Iwa’s room before. Of course he had been to the apartment multiple times, and he knew where things were, he simply never stepped into the room.<br/>
There was just something about a person’s room that really conveyed them in the smallest ways. For example, Oikawa’s room was full of creme furniture, neatly organized clothing, and an orderly fashioned bookshelf. It all portrayed his strive for perfection.<br/>
With giddy excitement, Oikawa forcefully opened the door, ready to pull Iwa out if he had to. He was already hyped up for the competition. He wouldn’t let them lose.<br/>
“IWA.” He yelped in hysteria. The room was dark, so he flicked on the light. Iwa was laying in bed, quite possibly napping. “C’mon get up, we’re about to beat Mattsun and Makki at Mario Kart.” He said walking over and shaking Iwa to get his attention.<br/>
Iwa didn’t respond. Sitting down next to Iwa on the bed, Oikawa peered over to try and get a look at his face. He couldn’t exactly see much as his face was scrunched up into the hood of his sweater. The only thing he could hear were the slight sniffles Iwa was desperately trying to get rid of.<br/>
“Are you ok?” Oikawa stuttered, putting his hand on Iwa's arm for comfort.<br/>
“Get out.” Iwa grunted, immediately shaking the hand of his arm. He lay on his side facing the wall, evidently not wanting to be near anyone.<br/>
“Iwa are you ok?” Oikawa asked again, even more concerned. Makki and Mattsun had mentioned he hadn’t come out of his room much, and tied in with his behaviour it was clear something was up.<br/>
“I said get out.” Iwa warned. He didn’t care about housley manners at this point. He knew the high chances Makki and Mattsun were tuning in on the conversation. It wasn’t as though the walls weren’t paper thin. He didn’t care. He just wanted to be left alone.<br/>
“Are- are you crying?” Oikawa asked, craning his head further to get a closer look at Iwa’s face.<br/>
“I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT” Iwa yelled, his face was overwritten with anger and yet an underlying pain. He sat up with his glaring eyes widening, his eyebrows pulled together, his voice even, but the one thing fooling it all was the redness and tears across his cheeks.<br/>
“No, no I’m not leaving, talk to me.” Oikawa held his ground. Normally he would obey, normally he would run off. Today he would stay by his side. Iwa had held him crying in his arms, it was only right to comfort Iwa when he so evidently needed it.<br/>
“I swear to god Oikawa if you don’t leave.” Iwa’s voice lowered in volume, but the aggression was still there.<br/>
“Stop shutting me out.” Oikawa said tirelessly. He got up to stand as if it would somehow help prove his point. He was exhausted from never knowing what was on Iwa’s mind, He figured that was how some people lived their lives, but he wanted to know. He was desperate to know because he wanted to help him heal.<br/>
“I shut everyone out so don’t take it personally.” Iwa sneered, looking away from him.<br/>
“When in the time we’ve known eachother have you shut me out?” Oikawa began to think. Of course he didn’t know every part of Iwa, and of course it was driving him insane, but the conversations they had with one another were not typical conversations with anyone else. They confessed so much in their talks, they removed their masks, and let down their guards.  “What’s different this time? What’s happened?”<br/>
“I don’t- just get out.” Iwa whispered, softer this time. “I don’t want you seeing me like this.” He covered his face with his hands to shield himself away. Continuing to build up his wall, higher and higher. But Oikawa was determined to bring it down, even if he had to use his hands and peer at them brick by brick.<br/>
“You know what? I don’t know anything about you!” All his thoughts, everything he didn’t say, everything he shut himself up for came spurring out in the heat of the moment. “<br/>
You shut me out, you shut me out and I want to know why! I want to know what you’re going through! I’m here for you Iwa, I just want to know what runs through your mind because you are so indecisive I don’t know what to expect from you! If one day is going to be the day we pretend we're a happy couple, or the next you want this over. So dont act like this is all on you, because this, this hurts me too.<br/>
“I don't NEED your help!” Iwa countered  raising his voice, before molting back into the comfort of his hands holding up his head, “I just want it to stop.” The tears began to flow again, the streams longer and faster than they were.<br/>
“What Iwa?” He started prying again/<br/>
“I don’t want this.” Iwa’s voice broke, hitching with cracks.<br/>
“What.” Oikawa asked sternly. He wanted an answer.<br/>
“THIS! US! How many times have I told you that. I don’t even know why you’re here.” He was frustrated, and the tears kept coming. Oikawa observed the broken boy beside him, and wondered if they could heal their broken hearts together.<br/>
Oikawa couldn’t say he believed what Iwa’s answer was. Maybe the strain in their relationship was the product of something that Iwa was going through. Something he wasn’t telling him. But there was no point in demanding someone of all that.<br/>
“You’re right.” Oikawa stated, bringing back Iwa’s attention. “You’ve told me that many times. Seems like I kind of forced you into this haven’t I? But here’s the thing Iwa, I don’t think it’s that you don’t love me. You’re afraid, and that’s ok. I’m afraid too. And I’m not prone to the idea of love any more than you are Iwa-chan. I’ve gone my whole life thinking this soulmate thing was some story made for little kids, and when I finally got it, I began to hate you. I didn’t even know you. But I thought you didn’t love me because I wasn’t enough.” He shrugged.<br/>
That mark on his skin had caused him so much pain. It was a reassurement for all his failures. He hated it with every inch of his being.<br/>
“Oikawa,” Iwa said softly, feeling guilty for what was happening.<br/>
“No let me finish.” He lifted a hand to stop him before proceeding. “I think you’re scared of love. I think you’re scared of what you can’t control, and this. You can’t control this. You can’t control love. And it scares you. It scares you to have feelings you can’t control.”<br/>
“Fuck you Oikawa.” Iwa joked between sniffles, trying desperately to wipe away his tears.<br/>
“Now normally I would say some funny comment, like no but you can fuck me.” Iwa broke into a laugh, sending a wave of relief through Oikawa as he watched Iwa smile.<br/>
“You’re not funny.” He sniffled, but clearly contradicted his own statement by the continuation of laughter.<br/>
“No, I’m your stars.” Oikawa smiled, remembering what Iwa told him before they fell asleep that one night. He didn’t know whether he made Iwa feel relieved or more afraid. “And you are my moon.” He said, wiping the tears from Iwas face with the stroke of his thumb. Iwa leaned into his hand, admiring the boy in front of him, letting the tears continue to drip down.<br/>
It was their way of saying I love you, without really saying it. One day, when they were both ready the words would come. Oikawa didn’t have a doubt in his mind that Iwa was falling just as he. For everything they went through in the mere span of three weeks was more than every other meaningless relationship he had ever been in. He was sure Iwa felt somewhat the same.<br/>
What he didn’t know was whether what happened the past few days pushed them closer, or worked in a way to slowly rip them apart.<br/>
“Now how about that game?” Iwa said.<br/>
“You sure you’re ready for that?”<br/>
“Hell yea, I’d like to see those punks try and beat us.” Iwa got up to stand, making his way into the living room, as Oikawa choked on a laugh at the sound of Iwa saying punks. “Hey what are you laughing at?” Iwa warned, look back at Oikawa who was staggering into the room after him.<br/>
“Nothing.” Oikawa coughed into his fist, clearing his throat. “Nothing at all.”<br/>
“If it isn’t the old married couple.” Makki piped, sitting in a questionably enticing position. Like a gang boss, with his legs crossed, leaving into the back cushions as his arms were splayed across the top, ready for business.<br/>
“Y’all are loud.” Mattsun added.<br/>
“Maybe you should quit eavesdropping, Mattsun.” Iwa nagged, slapping him across the head. It probably would have been the both of them, but unfortunately for Matssun, he was closer in range.<br/>
While Mattssun rubbed his head, Oikawa and Iwa took seats on the other sofa, as Makki began explaining the premise of the game they had concocted.<br/>
“So basically its truth or dare?” Oikawa clarified after listening to the explanation.<br/>
“Yea so whoever wins the round gets to ask the questions.”<br/>
“Oh and there's a big prize for whichever team actually wins the tournament.”<br/>
“Why do I know this is gonna be bad?” Iwa said, wiping his hand over his face.<br/>
“Whichever team wins gets the apartment all to themselves for the weekend.”<br/>
“Have you asked Kyoutani?” Iwa noted the fact of the one person not part of the discussion to bid their place for a weekend.<br/>
“NOPE. But he can find a place to stay.” Makki cheered, not showing much care in Kyoutani and more about the contest he was sure to win.<br/>
“Where would you even stay?” Oikawa asked all innocently, trying to provoke the start to their “friendly” competition.<br/>
“Are you insisting you’re gonna win?” Mattsun challenged.<br/>
“Of course I am.” Oikawa replied smugly.<br/>
“Well I think we’re winning so we don’t have to worry about places just yet.” Makki mocked.<br/>
“Fine then.” Iwa said, clapping a hand onto Oikawa’s back and sensing the tension in the room. Although it wasn’t anything bad, just that they could go on for hours.  “Are you ready?” Makki piped in excitement.<br/>
“Ready to beat your ass.” Oikawa snapped back. The frenzy of excitement plummeting through him.<br/>
“Woah you’re really getting into it huh?” Iwa said, questioning Oikawa’s sanity and current state of mind.<br/>
“I take winning seriously my friend.” Oikawa grinned, picking up one of the remotes ready to face off his opponent. “And trust me.” He added turning back to look at Iwa. “We’re gonna win.”<br/>
Lucky enough for Iwa, this was the distraction he needed. But then again, distractions never solved the problem.</i>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>THANK YOU FOR READING!! Please share any thoughts in the comments!! Thank you!! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>heyyy</p><p>sorry for the really late post. Starting next week I'll only be posting once a week as I've kinda grown really busy and can't continue writing as much as I used to ;-;</p><p>This chapter was originally not supposed to happen, then turned into a short side story but then hear we are. I didn't label it as a short story because it feeds into the next chapter, but it acts like a side chapter in terms of just being fun and silly and goofs.</p><p>anyways... hope you enjoy!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The boys crowded around the tv, full of childish fun and waking anticipation. Since they only had three remotes, one person from each team would go head to head in a best of three tournament. The two playing would sit on the pillows they called the "racing cars", placed at the centre of the room, perfect viewing for the tv, perfect distance from the sensor, and perfect control for the game.<br/>
“Alright who’s up first?” Makki announced, standing in the middle of the room in a lazed stance. In his hands lay the two wii remotes ready to play.<br/>
“I got this.” Oikawa patted Iwa’s shoulder. They were sitting on one of the sofas in the living room, whereas Mattsun sat on the other. Oikawa headed over to Makki, swiping one of the remotes from his hand in quick precision, and finding a comfy spot on one of the small couch pillows in front of the tv. Once comfortable, he looped the string around his wrist, fastening it tightly with enough space so it didn’t cut off his circulation, and was ready to play.<br/>
“If you say so.” Iwa shrugged nonchalantly. He didn't very much care who was playing, he just knew he was having fun. For now, that's all that mattered.<br/>
“I’m taking this one then.” Makki said, practically sprinting for the other spot next to Oikawa, taking the remote in his hand. “When he loops actually uses the safety string.” Makki pointed out, scoffing out laughs. Who was then joined by Mattsun and small snickers from Iwa as well.<br/>
“It’s called winning.” Oikawa sneered, “You should try it some time.” His face smug, closing his eyes with the ghost of a smile like he was ready to bring down the world. Even in this small little game, Oikawa's competitive streak wouldn't surrender.<br/>
“Don’t get all cocky on me now, we haven’t even started.” Makki reminded him, as they began to select their characters. It didn’t take very much time to do so of course. Everyone had their go to player, and preferred vehicle.<br/>
“Ok how do we choose a course then? You never explained that.” Oikawa suggested, just realizing he was exceptional at very few of them. He knew most of the courses, given playing the game for hours in his youth. However he specifically only played the ones he was either good at, knew extremely well, or was simply his favourite. Contradictingly all three of those required attributes coincided with one another.<br/>
Rummaging through his pocket, Makki pulled out a small coin. “Heads I choose, tails you choose.”<br/>
With Oikawa’s nod of approval, Makki tossed the coin up into the air, catching it back into his hand to reveal the tails side of the coin.<br/>
“Alright,” Oikawa immediately knew exactly what he was going to choose. “DK Summit.” Selected carefully from his top three, he found this to be the perfect fit given the amount of places you could fall off the road. Of course he had been paying attention to Makki and Mattsun's playing skills when he had first arrived. He was proficiently observant and it suited him well.<br/>
Makki huffed at the disapproval of his small loss in course selection. “Sure.” He smiled, regaining the excitement. “Just because you get to choose doesn’t mean you’re gonna win you know.”<br/>
“Oh I know.”<br/>
Although they weren’t exactly tuned into the conversation occurring behind them. The growls and snickers grew questionable as Makki and Oikawa’s own conversation dragged on.<br/>
“Are you two even paying attention?” Makki whirled around, followed by Oikawa, to see an extravagant mess. Iwa and Mattsun were both covered in snacks, and random objects. Pillows, chip bags, basically anything that was already in the room, just splattered into more of a mess.<br/>
“Sorry.” The two boys quickly apologized, settling down and letting them begin with the tournament.<br/>
“Anyways. Tell us about yourself, how you’ve been?” Makki began to speak once they both gained some sort of habitual flow in the game.<br/>
“Trying to distract me I see. Such cheap tactics.” Oikawa mused, trying to stay focused on the game. He sure did love to talk about himself, or at least the good parts about himself.<br/>
“Just trying to get to know you.” Makki said in a calmed defensive tone. It was true however, Oikawa didn’t know very much about Iwa’s roommates and vice versa. There wasn’t any harm in it. If anything it would be all the more fun.<br/>
“Good I guess, just a normal life you know?”<br/>
<em> Good. Fine. <em><br/>
It was always the same response. It was easy. It was perfect. It hid everything.<br/>
“Yea, yea normal.” Makki sent a smirk over to Mattsun, both desperately trying to hold back a laugh. “So how’s Iwa?” Makki continued, focusing his attention back towards the screen.<br/>
“Why are you asking him how I am? That makes no sense.” Iwa asked in confusion. Ater looking around the room, and observing the faces of the rest of the boys and their snickering, Iwa finally came to the realization. “Oh.” He said as soon as the concept came over him. “OH SHUT UP.” He yelled after understanding what was going on a bit more, sending one of the couch pillows next to him straight to Mattsun’s face.<br/>
“HEY!” Mattsun yelled in return. Launching the pillow back at Iwa. “I didn’t even ask the question.” Only when the pillow slammed against Iwa’s face did his face drop in horror and the great mistake he made.<br/>
Lucky enough for him, Oikawa carried on with the conversation. Though Iwa’s daunting eyes sent daggers straight for him.<br/>
“He was,'' Oikawa paused, trying to gather some fit description without laughing. “… big.” He couldn’t help  the wicked grin travelling up his face as he said it.<br/>
“Shut the fuck up right now.” Iwa averted his daggered eyes to Oikawa, who wasn’t even looking his way.<br/>
“Go on.” Mattsun said between laughs, intrigued by whatever ridiculous things Oikawa would say.<br/>
“Don’t encourage this.” Iwa pointed at Mattsun, standing up on the sofa like being taller than everyone in the room would somehow help his situation.<br/>
“He really likes to take control, if you know what I mean.” Oikawa continued on with the topic, clearly trying to stay in the spotlight. Besides making Iwa squeal and squirm was absolutely hilarious to watch.<br/>
“No I don’t, enlighten me.” Makki splattered out, very tempted to pause the game to hear more of what he had to say, but they already clarified in the rules of the tournament pausing was prohibited.<br/>
“Don’t you dare.” Iwa warned, carefully stumbling off the couch to try and stop Oikawa from spilling any more of their eventful night.<br/>
“For example..” He started.<br/>
“OIKAWA.” Iwa yelled once more, sprinting to him and slapping a hand across his mouth to stop him from saying any more.<br/>
Oikawa turned around, looking up at Iwa with sorrowful, puppy dog eyes. “What?” They almost seemed to say.<br/>
“They don’t need to know.” Iwa gritted out, word by word. Making every word clear as day so Oikawa would get the idea.<br/>
“Look they’re getting all kinky on us Makki.” Mattsun hollered over at Makki, whose face was turning horribly red from combined second hand embarrassment, and temperamental laughter.<br/>
“Oh shut up.” Iwa grimaced at the two<br/>
“I WON.” Makki announced in hysteria, throwing his remote in the air. He began running around the room, hollering some kind of chant. He was then joined by Mattsun as the two began to go absolutely crazy for their victory.<br/>
Shaking off Iwa’s hand, Oikawa shot at him with frustration. “You totally made us lose Iwa.”<br/>
Makki came to a stop to witness the conversation, pointing at Oikawa in his laugh fest.“I love this guy.” He looked over at Mattsun, looking back at Iwa to gather their attention before declaring. “We’re keeping this guy, right?”<br/>
“Makki I swear to god if you don’t shut the hell up.” Iwa’s voice grew rich with amusing anger, which somehow made him even more frightening. Especially as he slowly emerged from the ground, stalking towards Makki.<br/>
In response and fear, Makki began making a run for it, whilst Iwa’s smile only grew larger, sprinting to chase him around. Between the chaos, Mattsun sat down on the pillow ready for his own turn. “Anyways.” He said, trying to settle everyone down.<br/>
“Anyways!” Iwa replied, jogging back into the living room and next to Mattsun, followed by a woozy Makki who looked like he came from some sort of tackling fight.<br/>
Once Mattsun and Iwa began the game, and OIkawa and Makki were settled on the sofas in the room, Makki sparked up a new conversation.<br/>
“So what are your plans if you guys win.”<br/>
“Well we are winning.” Oikawa started off, even though he was now slightly unsure that they were given their first loss. “And you know.” He said, flashing a wink and saying. “Fun stuff.”<br/>
“Oh c’mon.” Makki rolled his eyes as if it were some sort of boring, plain event. Not only that, but seemingly grossed out which was of course self explanatory.<br/>
“You’re the one who asked. Besides, it’s not like you wouldn’t be doing the same.” Oikawa pointed out, causing a great silence in the room, other than the sounds projecting from the game.<br/>
“What?” Makki asked as if he was being accused.<br/>
“Aren’t you two dating?”<br/>
Makki and Mattsun soon locked eyes straight after, as if they had some sort of telepathic communication. Their eyes wide with stunned faces, before another blast of laughter came through. This time, seemingly more suspicious.<br/>
“Us? Dating?” Mattsun said.<br/>
“You’re funny.” Makki chuckled. But the master of hiding his own true feelings could tell ever so quickly how fake the laugh was.<br/>
Oikawa had to say they played it off deviously well. He was certain, him and Iwa could never convince someone just as easily. If anything they were most certainly obvious about everything they did. No wonder Mattsun and Makki could figure out what they did nights before.<br/>
“Sure about that?” Oikawa asked, offering them another chance to possibly open up about it. He was sure he was right. He was rarely ever wrong.<br/>
“Oikawa, they're just like super best friends.” Iwa commented, playing it off. Though he was surely the most oblivious in the room.<br/>
“That sounds super sus to me.” Oikawa noted.<br/>
“We’re just undying friends.” Mattsun nodded. Oikawa found it funny that he didn’t dare peel his eyes from the screen to reveal the red gathering in his cheeks.<br/>
“Lovers Mattsun, Oikawa thinks we’re lovers.” Makki directed the words to Mattsun, flirtatiously and softly.<br/>
“We’ll show him our love.” Mattsun’s mockingly light voice floated through the air.<br/>
“Alright alright I get it I get it.” Oikawa waved off. They sure didn’t want anyone to know, and of course he had to respect that. </em></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <em>	Iwa won his round with ease, leaving the last round to be a choice between whichever teammates to bring home the win.<br/>
“You should play.” Oikawa offered. It wasn’t hard to tell Iwa was good, and Oikawa was sure to get distracted. It was simple really, Oikawa wanted to win.<br/>
“No you should. You’re the one who wanted to play.” Iwa suggested.<br/>
“Fine.” Oikawa huffed out, but the same excitement overtook him. But Iwa was right, he also wanted to play.<br/>
Before the last game commenced, in which Makki decided to play as well, Oikawa pulled off his sweater, leaving him in his grey t-shirt.<br/>
“Getting serious, are we?” Makki challenged, peering over at Oikawa.<br/>
“What else would you expect?” He said, taking the coin from Makki and flipping it himself. This time revealing heads.<br/>
“Rainbow road.” Makki stated loud and clear.<br/>
<em> Shit. <em> Was the only word reverberating through Oikawa’s head. They were sure to lose now. Even though the prize wasn’t necessarily a grand event, he did somewhat look forward to it.<br/>
“Fine. Let’s start.” He coaxed.<br/>
The start was just as expected. Or pretty much the entire game was expected. Oikawa kept falling off the sides and was clearly in the loss already, even midway through the game. But he still carried onto his third lap in dead last place.<br/>
“You got a lot of scars there.” Mattsun plainly stated. It took Oikawa a minute to process when he was speaking to him.<br/>
“Yea I used to have a cat.” Oikawa said, not hesitating to keep his eyes off the screen.<br/>
“Those ones look fresh though.” Iwa nagged, peering over to see the random lines of scars scattered across Oikawa’s forearms.<br/>
“I went to a cat cafe.” Oikawa muttered. He wanted to get off the topic as soon as possible.<br/>
“Wait what? Without me?” Iwa said out of the haze. It was perfect. It strayed from the awkward conversation Oikawa absolutely didn’t need to have.<br/>
“Yea.” He smiled, right as he lost to Makki who started his victory dance all over again.<br/>
“WE WIN.” He screamed, jumping from cushion to cushion on every surface in the room.<br/>
“And we lose.” Iwa approved, patting Oikawa’s shoulder. “So what are you doing with the apartment?”<br/>
“Have ongoing battles.” Makki said, pretending he was holding a sword and already starting his battle with Mattsun.<br/>
“You already do that.” Iwa shook his head in amused disbelief.<br/>
“But turn the whole place into a battlefield.”<br/>
“I CALL FOR A REMATCH, A REDO, SOMETHING.” Oikawa stood up from his place, ready to fight. Or play, fight or play.<br/>
“Oikawa it’s fine.” Iwa pleaded, starting to direct him to the door, and help him put his coat on.<br/>
“No it’s not.” Oikawa grumbled, shrugging on the coat Iwa was holding out for him.<br/>
“Bye Oikawa.” Makki waved pettily. “Can’t wait to beat you next time.” He laughed before sauntering through the apartment.<br/>
Before walking out the door, Oikawa, also being absolutely petty and childish, stuck his tongue out raising the middle finger, just as he was pushed into the hallway by Iwa who then closed the door.<br/>
“I hate you sometimes.” Iwa blurted, looking dead into Oikawa’s eyes.<br/>
“Hate’s a strong word Iwa. However could you be so mean to me?” Oikawa said, pouting his lips.<br/>
“You know what we should do?”<br/>
“Other than losing?” Oikawa regained a more serious tone.<br/>
Completely ignoring the comment Iwa said, “Go spend the weekend at a hotel.”<br/>
“But- we're broke.” Oikawa stuttered, wondering what the hell was going through Iwa’s head.<br/>
“Who said that?”<br/>
“Our student debt.”<br/>
“Maybe I’m just super rich.” Oikawa immediately started questioning in his head if he really knew the true Iwa or not. If he was secretly from a super rich family, or his family was involved in the mafia, or they ran an illegal drug cartel. In conclusion everything he thought of was outrageously silly.<br/>
“One night.” Oikawa confirmed, instead of the weekend.<br/>
“Oh god thank you.” Iwa let out a large breath. “I was really concerned for my wallet.”<br/>
“I’m concerned about you.” Oikawa said softly, not forgetting what had happened earlier that night.<br/>
“C'mon don’t go and ruin it now.” Averting his eyes from Oikawa, he found a place on the ground to look at instead.<br/>
“But really. Is this just a mere distraction Iwa?”<br/>
“So what if it is? I’ll be spending time with a magnificent person.”<br/>
He didn’t want to press on, especially now. Oikawa’s questions and worries grew everyday, and he needed an outlet for them. He needed to tell someone, to tell Iwa. But now clearly wasn’t the time. “Go on.”<br/>
“Don’t flatter yourself.” Iwa smiled, looking back into Oikawa’s milky, luscious chocolate eyes.<br/>
“The whole point was that you were flattering me!” Oikawa whined. “I’ll see you later then.” He said, bringing his hand to Iwa’s cheek, giving him a quick peck on the lips as a goodbye.<br/>
“Bye Shitty-kawa.” Iwa yelled, as Oikawa made it partway through the hall.<br/>
Turning around and walking backwards, Oikawa yelled back. “Don’t flatter yourself Iwa-chan.”<br/>
Iwa smiled once Oikawa’s back was turned and he disappeared through the stair doors. A very true and meaningful smile.</em></em></em>
  </em>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thanks for reading!! please leave any thoughts in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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